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    !!!?is that bad?!!!



    if u have a crush on someone....so is that considered to be bad in islam??....


    #2
    I think that part of Human nature... Its what you do about it that matters. Just my two cents.

    Comment


      #3
      Yeah, Adnan is right, its human nature. However, the critical part is how you respond to this crush!!!

      I think that we should learn from the example of how Hazrat Muhammad (saw) got married with Hazrat Khadeeja (ra). It was Hazrat Khadeeja (ra) who sent a proposal for marriage.

      How Hazrat Yusuf (as) responded to Zulaikha's seductions is also a good example.

      Comment


        #4
        Asslamu alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakaatohu!

        Dear sister,

        First, you have to understand that we are slaves of Almighty Allah (that is also our nature). We need to keep in mind that He The Almighty sent to us Messengers/Prophets as examples for us humans to live and follow.

        Looking at Muhammad pbuh 's example...not once in his life did he have a 'crush' on any woman. He had so much shyness and modesty that not even a virgin could ever have. (subhanAllah)

        So what is a 'crush'...from what i know it is a slang word people use as a feeling they have for the opposite gender....(which cannot be true love)...also 'crush' is when one gets attracted to one's "outer" beauty or should i say physical beauty...
        Hadhrat Khadija (ra) did NOT get attracted to Muhammad (pbuh)'s physical beauty but the beauty of his character, his honesty, his truthfulness, his imaan, his hayaa,etc.
        So we cannot say that she had a 'crush' on him (astaghfirullah).

        Also dear sister, Allah The Most LOVING says in the Holy Quran:
        Then is it only a part of the Book that ye believe in, and do ye reject the rest?{2:85}

        What ever Allah Ta'ala has commanded us to do..is for our own good in this world and the Hereafter.

        Allah Ta'ala, The MOST WISE, says in Quran:
        "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and
        guard their modesty;.." {24:31}


        our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) says:

        “The furtive glance is one of the poisoned arrows of Shaytan, on him be God's curse. Whoever forsakes it for the fear of Allah, will receive from Him (Great and Gracious is He) a faith, the sweetness of which he will find within his heart.” (al-Haakim.)

        Therefore, a secret lustful look at a person of opposite gender has been compared by the Prophet (pbuh) to an arrow from Shaytan that:

        poisons our hearts
        ruins our intentions
        gives rise to false hopes and desires
        distorts our perception of 'reality'
        deprives us from enjoying and concentrating in Prayers
        gives rise to constant feeling of guilt and depression
        sometimes leads to sleepless nights
        renders our heart weak for continuous Shaytanic attacks
        promotes hypocrisy
        weakens our memory
        eventually leads to Zina (adultery)
        above all, diminishes our love for and fear of Allah

        Allah commands us: "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them..." [24:30.] In the verse following this one, Allah commands “the believing women” in the similar manner.

        A wise man once said:

        Mehroomi (depression) insaan ko aksar teb hoti hai
        jeb wo kisi aisi cheez ko pana chahta hai
        jo ussay mil nahi sekti.


        Sister, it is true that it is only part of human nature, BUT Allah has forbidded us to do such things because for our own good. Keep reading!

        The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the eye is the guide of the heart. The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it. Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye as is said:
        [b]
        When you sent your eye as a guide
        For your heart one day, the object of sight fatigued you
        For you saw one over whom you had no power
        Neither a portion or in totality, instead you had to be patient.

        Whosoever lets his sight roam free will find that he is in a perpetual state of loss and anguish for sight gives birth to love (mahabbah) the starting point of which is the heart being devoted and dependant upon that which it beholds. This then intensifies to become fervent longing (sabaabah) whereby the heart becomes totally dependant and devoted to the (object of its desire). Then this further intensifies and becomes infatuation (gharaamah) which clings to the heart like the one seeking repayment of a debt clings firmly to the one who has to pay the debt. Then this intensifies and becomes passionate love (ishk) and this is a love that transgresses all bounds. Then this further intensifies and becomes crazed passion (shaghafa) and this a love that encompasses every tiny part of the heart. Then this intensifies and becomes worshipful love (tatayyuma). Tatayyum means worship and it is said: tayyama Allaah i.e. he worshipped Allaah.

        This delight and sweetness is far greater and more desirable that which might have been attained from the object that one lowered his gaze from for the sake of Allaah. Indeed, "whosoever leaves something for the sake of Allaah then Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent, will replace it with something better than it."

        Allaah said concerning Yusuf as-Siddeeq (AS), "Thus (did We order) so that We might turn away from him all evil and indecent actions for he was one of Our sincere servants." [Yusuf (12): 24]

        It was because the wife of al-Azeez was a polytheist that (the passionate love) entered her heart despite her being married. It was because Yusuf (AS) was sincere to Allaah that he was saved from it despite his being a young man, unamarried and a servant.


        [b] Sister, IsLam is the EASY way...if you follow it you will feel EASE....but if you do not follow it ...then it will be a burden on your ownself.


        please read my post in the religion section called "Who you should love?"

        O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy. {2:208}


        your sister in Islam




        [This message has been edited by Uzee (edited July 20, 2002).]

        Comment


          #5
          Sister, i am sorry my post above is alittle too long...but pleaseeee read it..
          May Allah reward you inshAllah!

          The first word revealed in the Quran from surah Alaq was "IQRA"...READ

          its for your betterment ...please sister read it all...

          waslaam

          Comment


            #6
            I think its important to understand the definition of a crush.

            Crushes happen when you get smitten with someone - i've had crushes where looks were not the only thing involved - the guys were always strong (in personality), brilliant, and sensitive and caring people.

            Personalities do count when one crushes - for some people.

            Thus in this sense of a crush - where looks, personality, thoughts and ideas - are all compounded together - then I dont think the crush in itself is haraam or devilish. Its an instinct - and the Devil didn't give us our instincts - God did. So how could liking someone be bad?

            But it is what you do with that crush - like if all you can think about is having sex, or if you make MOVES to get the guy to sleep with you - then you can say that you need to reevaluate your crush.

            Chill girl - crushes are not bad.

            Honestly there is no proof that the Prophet never crushed on anyone, or that Khadija's love for the Prophet was not a "crush" and that the Prophet's love for Aishaa was not a "crush".

            For respect purposes - the word "crush" or whatever is never used when talking about the Prophet's marital life. But do you honestly think that he did not "love" his wives? Do you honestly think that Khadija's admiration for the Prophet was not a "crush" similar to what many women today feel for men before they get married?

            In the end, it boils down to what a "crush" is to you. Its not always about the physical and raw sexual aspect.
            I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by !~!ZahrA!~!:


              if u have a crush on someone....so is that considered to be bad in islam??....

              dont let religen spoil you fantasy .
              you wont be too young for long .
              no mullah will look at you when
              you are 70.it is unhealthy to be non-sexual
              it is not good for your soul and mind and your future partner will think you as some kind of a nun.

              Comment


                #8
                Ask me... I get crushes every freaking day. Perfectly natural thing. For people who think it's wrong or something, I've got a question:

                Is talking to na mehrem guys over the internet (via gs) allowed?

                ------------------
                You can only paint with the colors you're given...
                ...so get what you like and like what you have.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Uzee:
                  [b]Asslamu alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakaatohu!

                  Dear sister,

                  First, you have to understand that we are slaves of Almighty Allah (that is also our nature). We need to keep in mind that He The Almighty sent to us Messengers/Prophets as examples for us humans to live and follow.

                  Looking at Muhammad pbuh 's example...not once in his life did he have a 'crush' on any woman. He had so much shyness and modesty that not even a virgin could ever have. (subhanAllah)

                  So what is a 'crush'...from what i know it is a slang word people use as a feeling they have for the opposite gender....(which cannot be true love)...also 'crush' is when one gets attracted to one's "outer" beauty or should i say physical beauty...
                  Hadhrat Khadija (ra) did NOT get attracted to Muhammad (pbuh)'s physical beauty but the beauty of his character, his honesty, his truthfulness, his imaan, his hayaa,etc.
                  So we cannot say that she had a 'crush' on him (astaghfirullah).

                  Also dear sister, Allah The Most LOVING says in the Holy Quran:
                  Then is it only a part of the Book that ye believe in, and do ye reject the rest?{2:85}

                  What ever Allah Ta'ala has commanded us to do..is for our own good in this world and the Hereafter.

                  Allah Ta'ala, The MOST WISE, says in Quran:
                  "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and
                  guard their modesty;.." {24:31}


                  our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) says:

                  “The furtive glance is one of the poisoned arrows of Shaytan, on him be God's curse. Whoever forsakes it for the fear of Allah, will receive from Him (Great and Gracious is He) a faith, the sweetness of which he will find within his heart.” (al-Haakim.)

                  Therefore, a secret lustful look at a person of opposite gender has been compared by the Prophet (pbuh) to an arrow from Shaytan that:

                  poisons our hearts
                  ruins our intentions
                  gives rise to false hopes and desires
                  distorts our perception of 'reality'
                  deprives us from enjoying and concentrating in Prayers
                  gives rise to constant feeling of guilt and depression
                  sometimes leads to sleepless nights
                  renders our heart weak for continuous Shaytanic attacks
                  promotes hypocrisy
                  weakens our memory
                  eventually leads to Zina (adultery)
                  above all, diminishes our love for and fear of Allah

                  Allah commands us: "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them..." [24:30.] In the verse following this one, Allah commands “the believing women” in the similar manner.

                  A wise man once said:

                  Mehroomi (depression) insaan ko aksar teb hoti hai
                  jeb wo kisi aisi cheez ko pana chahta hai
                  jo ussay mil nahi sekti.


                  Sister, it is true that it is only part of human nature, BUT Allah has forbidded us to do such things because for our own good. Keep reading!

                  The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the eye is the guide of the heart. The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it. Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye as is said:
                  [b]
                  When you sent your eye as a guide
                  For your heart one day, the object of sight fatigued you
                  For you saw one over whom you had no power
                  Neither a portion or in totality, instead you had to be patient.

                  Whosoever lets his sight roam free will find that he is in a perpetual state of loss and anguish for sight gives birth to love (mahabbah) the starting point of which is the heart being devoted and dependant upon that which it beholds. This then intensifies to become fervent longing (sabaabah) whereby the heart becomes totally dependant and devoted to the (object of its desire). Then this further intensifies and becomes infatuation (gharaamah) which clings to the heart like the one seeking repayment of a debt clings firmly to the one who has to pay the debt. Then this intensifies and becomes passionate love (ishk) and this is a love that transgresses all bounds. Then this further intensifies and becomes crazed passion (shaghafa) and this a love that encompasses every tiny part of the heart. Then this intensifies and becomes worshipful love (tatayyuma). Tatayyum means worship and it is said: tayyama Allaah i.e. he worshipped Allaah.

                  This delight and sweetness is far greater and more desirable that which might have been attained from the object that one lowered his gaze from for the sake of Allaah. Indeed, "whosoever leaves something for the sake of Allaah then Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent, will replace it with something better than it."

                  Allaah said concerning Yusuf as-Siddeeq (AS), "Thus (did We order) so that We might turn away from him all evil and indecent actions for he was one of Our sincere servants." [Yusuf (12): 24]

                  It was because the wife of al-Azeez was a polytheist that (the passionate love) entered her heart despite her being married. It was because Yusuf (AS) was sincere to Allaah that he was saved from it despite his being a young man, unamarried and a servant.


                  Sister, IsLam is the EASY way...if you follow it you will feel EASE....but if you do not follow it ...then it will be a burden on your ownself.


                  please read my post in the religion section called "Who you should love?"

                  O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy. {2:208}


                  your sister in Islam


                  [This message has been edited by Uzee (edited July 20, 2002).]
                  aslamo alikum...thankyou very much for your time....and i think that would really help me and others to understand the whole thing...thanx once again...



                  ------------------
                  The wise never marry. and when they marry
                  ...they become Otherwise

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by pakistan99:

                    Is talking to na mehrem guys over the internet (via gs) allowed?

                    ya i wanna know that to...do anyone know about it...??


                    ------------------
                    The wise never marry. and when they marry
                    ...they become Otherwise

                    Comment


                      #11
                      WalikumSalam W'r W'b Uzee;
                      Jazkallahu Khairun. Masha-Allah a very nice conclusive answer, a helpful read for us all

                      Comment


                        #12
                        It does not say anywhere, that you can't like somebody or have a crush!!

                        Having a fantasy or wanting a knight in shining armour id not a crime in Islam. Lowering your gaze I should add applies to us guys as well...
                        How can a man die better than facing fearful odds for the ashes of his fathers and the Temple of his Gods?

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Asslamu alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakaatohu!
                          Respected sister (PiyariCGuria)!

                          Originally posted by PyariCgudia:
                          I think its important to understand the definition of a crush.
                          Crushes happen when you get smitten with someone - i've had crushes where looks were not the only thing involved - the guys were always strong (in personality), brilliant, and sensitive and caring people.
                          Personalities do count when one crushes - for some people.
                          Thus in this sense of a crush - where looks, personality, thoughts and ideas - are all compounded together - then I dont think the crush in itself is haraam or devilish. Its an instinct - and the Devil didn't give us our instincts - God did. So how could liking someone be bad?
                          But it is what you do with that crush - like if all you can think about is having sex, or if you make MOVES to get the guy to sleep with you - then you can say that you need to reevaluate your crush.
                          Chill girl - crushes are not bad.
                          Honestly there is no proof that the Prophet never crushed on anyone, or that Khadija's love for the Prophet was not a "crush" and that the Prophet's love for Aishaa was not a "crush".
                          For respect purposes - the word "crush" or whatever is never used when talking about the Prophet's marital life. But do you honestly think that he did not "love" his wives? Do you honestly think that Khadija's admiration for the Prophet was not a "crush" similar to what many women today feel for men before they get married?
                          In the end, it boils down to what a "crush" is to you. Its not always about the physical and raw sexual aspect.
                          I also think it is important to understand the meaning of "CRUSH"?...so what is it?...
                          You will NOT find this specific word in any english dictionary...because it does not exist..it is just a slang word used by many new generation people. The definition you have provided is just your own opinion..by what you yourself have experienced. am i right?

                          Also, Of course...Allah is The Creator...and He has created us in a nature (which in arabic is Fitra)..we have feelings and emotions and that is what makes life.
                          BUT the thing is that ALLAH the TRULY WISE
                          has FORBIDDEN some things for us.
                          You can go on talking about how natural a feeling it is...but as i said earlier ISLAM is the EASY and SIMPLE WAY of Life..if you want to reject and turn away from Allah's commands and follow the footsteps of shaytaan...then you will be only doing harm to your own self.
                          What you have said about Khadija and Mihammad....well Muhammad peace and blessings of Allah be upon him...did love his wives and treated them with much jusitce. Of course...he loved them...he was a Mercy for EVERYONE...an EXAMPLE by which we should live...and also he was under the Direct Guidance from Almighty Allah.

                          Khadija did not have a cruch on RasulAllah...This word "CRUSH" didn't even exist back then. She proposed him because of his beautiful character and imaan in Allah Ta'ala.


                          Sister...also understand the difference between CRUSH and LOVE....then talk please.

                          Sister Zahra...asked if it was haraam(bad) in ISLAM to have a crush on someone....
                          she said ISLAM...not opinions...also when we talk about ISLAM (THE HAQ) we need to provide references/sources from where we're getting the info.

                          and ALLAH Clearly says in the HOLY Quran:

                          "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and
                          guard their modesty;.." {24:31}

                          SUBMIT TO ISLAM WHOLE-HEARTEDLY!

                          O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy. {2:208}


                          waslaam
                          your sister in islam

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by rvikz:
                            dont let religen spoil you fantasy .
                            you wont be too young for long .
                            no mullah will look at you when
                            you are 70.it is unhealthy to be non-sexual
                            it is not good for your soul and mind and your future partner will think you as some kind of a nun.

                            FOR YOUR INFORMATION,

                            ISLAM IS A WAY OF LIFE...IT IS NOT A RELIGION (A BELIEF) ONLY BUT IT IS A WAY OF LIFE...BECAUSE WE (muslims) LIVE ACCORDING TO IT. WE REMEMBER ALLAH IN EVERYTHING WE DO BY SAYING BISMILLAH WHEN STARTING TO DO SOMETHING. I CAN GO ON TALKING ABOUT HOW IT IS A WAY OF LIFE...BUT I'LL STOP HERE...

                            [b] ALLAH THE MOST GREAT SAYS IN THE HOLY QURAN:
                            "Then shall anyone who has done an atom's weight of good, see it!
                            And anyone who has done an atom's weight of evil, shall see it. "(99:7-8)


                            and you can imagine how tiny an atom is!!


                            and also the Arabic word used in the Quran for Islam...at many places ...is DEEN
                            which translated in english...is WAY OF LIFE!!!!
                            waslaam


                            [This message has been edited by Uzee (edited July 21, 2002).]

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Zakk:
                              It does not say anywhere, that you can't like somebody or have a crush!!

                              Having a fantasy or wanting a knight in shining armour id not a crime in Islam. Lowering your gaze I should add applies to us guys as well...
                              Ahem Ahem....brother WAKE UP!!! Did you read my POSTs above!!

                              Comment

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