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    one man and four wives

    aa

    well i was in the chat room the other day when someone said that islam has 'many inequalities as far as women and men r concerned' - there example of such an 'inequality' was that how come men can have up to 4 wives but women cant have 4 husbands.

    well i dont have enough knowledge to answer such a question apart from that i dont believe this to b a sign of inquality as God created us and so knows what is right for men and women and thus gave us our roles. And u cant argue with the creator.

    is there any statement in Quran or a hadith to say why a man can have up to 4 wives and not the other way round.

    ws

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    EvErYbOdY wAnTs 2 gO 2 hEaVeN bUt NoBoDy WaNtS 2 dIe

    #2
    Surah 4, verse 3

    If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice

    this is the only place in Quran where a man is allowed to take four wives....
    and the reasons r clear....
    the verse was revealed after a battle in which muslims were left with many widowss and orphans....
    so muslims men were allowed to marry from these widows and orphans, so as to ensure that they r not left helpless....

    please also see the clear words if u think u cannot deal with them justly marry only one....

    what is there to argue in it????
    its not meant to show that men r superior just to safeguard women's rights....

    and hey did Quran mention the reason for the inequality of men and women regarding why a woman shud go thru the pains of the labor and the man shud not????




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    "Our Lord! forgive us our sins and anything we may have done that transgressed our duty; establish our feet firmly and help us against those that resist faith." Quran(3:147)
    Both Halal & Haram r evident but between them r doubtful things, most ppl have no knowledge about them. So whoever saves himself from suspicious things saves his religion & honor, & whoever indulges in suspicious things indulges in Haram.

    Comment


      #3
      aa

      thanks for ure clear and easy to understand reply

      gaining knowledge about islam is one of the many reasons why i love gupshup

      God bless u all

      ws

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      iF sOmEoNe WiTh MuLtIpLe pErSoNaLiTiEs ThReAtEnS 2 kIlL hImSeLf, iS iT cOnSiDeReD A hOsTaGe SiTuAtIon

      Comment


        #4
        and hey did Quran mention the reason for the inequality of men and women regarding why a woman shud go thru the pains of the labor and the man shud not????

        Well it is inequality in a technical sense, but this is a biological inequality. I think people mean intellectual, and emotional inequality when they talk about inequality. At any rate, birthing is not something I think men want anyway, so its not like God abused the rights of men when he made the woman in charge of birthing.

        The polygamy issue has a biological side, but it also has an emotional and intellectual side.

        The sad thing is that Islam does give equality to men and women in intellectual and emotional senses - if Muslims do not implement this equality in their lives, then that doesn't mean Islam promotes inequality.

        Today, Islam is one thing, muslims are another. Esp. when it comes to women's rights.


        Tell pple that the reason why women can't have 4 husbands, is because populations always have more women than men (almost always), and that its hard to determine which husband impregnated the wife(its possible now due to DNA technology, but it wasn't in 500 A.D. Makkah and Madina).

        Also, tell these people that Islam is the only religion which tells man to marry one woman, and encourages monogamy over polygamy and reserves polygamy for emergencies or humane acts of taking helpless widows and divorcees off the street. Its almost like God told man to treat woman equally, but He knew Man would never do that, so the polygamy clause is a protective measure made for women. This protection, keep in mind, is not mandatory for all widows and helpless divorcees and other disabled women. Every muslim individual, incl women, are encouraged to fend for themselves as much as possible. Today, most widows can get jobs, in western countries. In eastern countries, they SHOULD be able to get jobs.

        Of course, Polygamy is abused almost always today. So the average example of a polygamy marriage in Pakistan, for ex, is not illustrative of the Islamic polygamy system.

        Pple just confuse what muslims do with what Islam is. Help them sort out that confusion.
        I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by PyariCgudia:
          [b]Also, tell these people that Islam is the only religion which tells man to marry one woman, and encourages monogamy over polygamy and reserves polygamy for emergencies or humane acts of taking helpless widows and divorcees off the street. Its almost like God told man to treat woman equally, but He knew Man would never do that, so the polygamy clause is a protective measure made for women. This protection, keep in mind, is not mandatory for all widows and helpless divorcees and other disabled women. Every muslim individual, incl women, are encouraged to fend for themselves as much as possible. Today, most widows can get jobs, in western countries. In eastern countries, they SHOULD be able to get jobs.
          Just based on logic, I agree with what you said. But I'd like to hear more from some religious scholars.

          Can someone post opinions from some established scholars on this issue?

          Comment


            #6
            As-Salaam 'alaykum wa-Rahmatullaahe wa-Barakaatuhu

            Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

            Praise be to Allaah.

            To sister Beena and others, please read the link below. It is a good article mashallaah on the topic of 'equality' between men and women.
            http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=en...&QR=1105&dgn=3

            Wa Salaam 'alaykum wa-Rahmatullaahe wa-Barakaatuhu

            Comment


              #7
              AsifMuraf, you sooooo did not just post a link to this ridiculously falsified article that supports men are superior to women.

              Being a man, I can understand why you bought into this person's statements. Here's some of the ridiculous interpretations this man has set forward:

              Excerpt:
              4 – Clothing:

              A woman’s ‘awrah includes her entire body. The least that can be said is that she should not uncover anything except her face and hands, and it was said that she should not even uncover that.

              Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

              “O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

              [al-Ahzaab 33:59]


              Correction: The correct translation uses the word "bosom" in place of "bodies". Big difference between a body and a bosom.

              Excerpt #2:
              Ibn Katheer said:

              Two women are to take the place of one man because women are lacking in reason, as Muslim narrated in his Saheeh… from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O women, give in charity and seek forgiveness a great deal, for I have seen that you form the majority of the people of Hell.” A wise woman among them said, “Why is it, O Messenger of Allaah, that we are the majority of the people of Hell?” He said, “Because you curse too much, and you are ungrateful to your spouses. I have seen none lacking in common sense and failing in religion but (at the same time) robbing the wisdom of the wise, besides you.” The woman asked: “O Messenger of Allaah, what is wrong with our common sense and our religion?” He said: “Your lack of common sense (can be well judged from the fact) that the evidence of two women is equal to that of one man, that is a proof of the lack of common sense, and you spend some nights (and days) in which you do not offer prayer and in the month of Ramadan (during the days) you do not observe fast, that is a failing in religion.”

              (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/336)

              There may be some women who are wiser than some men, but this is not the usual rule and such women are not in the majority. Sharee’ah is based on what is general and most common.

              The fact that women are lacking in reason does not mean that they are crazy, rather their reason is often overtaken by their emotions, and this happens to women more often than it happens to men. No one would deny this except one who is arrogant."


              Correction: Women do not lack in reason. There is no authentic hadith or quranic ayah that supports this. Just the plain solid proof in society of muslim women being good workers and intelligent doctors, professors, lawyers, etc -- shows that this is utterly false. If it was true, we'd see women being constantly unsuccessful in working environments, and constantly being outmatched by men. Remember, the Quran is highly scientific, and so is God. How can you deny the intelligence of women in front of you?

              The evidence of two women against one man was actually used in cases where women did not have the privelege of having the same education as the men - so in cases, where certain women did not have the judgement to provide accurate evidence due to their own jahaaliat, then there evidence was counted two to one. If you read history under the Islamic empire, this was changed as women became more educated (as perscribed by the Quran by the way).

              Also, this hadith states that women are less in religion becuase they miss fasts due to menstruation. The allowance to miss a fast during menses is mandated by God in the Quran, and Menses is something that God devised. So its not a failing of their religion at all. Its a biological thing, and it doesnt make women any less. If your mother never had menses, then she would not have been able to give birth to you. Remember that.

              Excerpt no. 3:
              2 – Testimony or bearing witness. The Qur’aan states that the testimony of one man is equivalent to the testimony of two women.

              Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

              “And get two witnesses out of your own men. And if there are not two men (available), then a man and two women, such as you agree for witnesses, so that if one of them (two women) errs, the other can remind her”

              [al-Baqarah 2:282]


              This ayah was revealed at a time, when women were not allowed to have the education that men did. This of course, as time went by, was purged. God also says to educate oneself as much as possible, including women. Thus, later one, when women became more educated, this ayah had no more importance, and was not used as much under the Islamic empire. If it was, this was abuse towards women.

              Excerpt no. 4:

              Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women’ means that men are the leaders of women and they should obey them in areas where Allaah has enjoined obedience. Obedience may mean treating his family kindly and protecting his wealth.

              Correction: Men are protectors and maintainers of women in a financial sense. It is a RESPONSIBILITY of man, not a PRIVELEGE, to earn for his family. This does not mean that women may not work, contrary to what many think. The FACT that women work and do just as good of a job, sometimes better, than men shows that women are not any less intelligent. This protection is a protection. Protection is never forced upon anyone, nor does it mean that one who is protecting has rights to RULE and FORCE on the protected what they WANT.

              Excerpt no. 5:

              A man can marry four women, but a woman can only have one husband.

              Again, this is a responsibility, not a privelige thrust on men. Neither is polygamy mandatory, nor is it to be used to satisfy lust or demand for more sex or more children. Most married couples are able to have children, and are able to live happy lives if the marriage happens correctly.

              Excerpt no. 6:

              A man may travel without his wife or any of his mahrams, but a woman may not travel unless she is accompanied by a mahram.

              this again, is a ridiculous ruling posed by men. Society is different now, and this ruling no longer applies. actually it wasn't a ruling to begin with. If women are allowed to associate with men in that they can hold conversations with men that are not their mehrams, then it makes NO SENSE for a woman to not travel alone. I urge someone to come up with an authentic ayah that even hints that a woman needs supervision to do somethiing. Plus, if men do their jobs as muslims and dont treat women like toys, then women wont have any problem walking the streets without fear of rape, etc.

              Some may say, the wives of the Prophet never travelled unaccompanied. This is because the Prophet had many enemies when he was trying to convert the Kaafirs, and they would have done much harm to the early muslim women. Thus, they were protected against evil. Thus, he accompanied his wife Khadija , and later his wife Aishaa and his other wives. Also, you must also remember, that the Prophet didn't do a whole lot of travelling alone, except when he mediated and received revelations -- obviously no woman would be present with him then, and no man either. He's recieving God's word, so he had to be alone!

              Simple logic goes very far.

              excerpt no. 7

              A woman may wear silk and gold, but a man must not wear them.

              This is highly arguable, and this so-called sholar argues that a man MUST NOT wear them. Its referred to as Maqroo from most sources, which means that its not a MUST, but something one is better off not doing. Nonetheless, wearing gold or silk doesn't make a man any less of a believer.

              excerpt no 8:
              Prayer in the mosque is obligatory for men, but not for women; a woman’s prayer in her house is more beloved to Allaah.

              This is UTTERLY FALSE. I'll tell you where this dumb myth comes from. An elderly lady once came up to the Rasul and said "I'm sorry I wont be able to make the prayer today..I'm not feeling well...I'll stay at home this one time". In response, the prophet said, " Oh, dont worry, its better for you (meaning the elderly woman and due to her illness) to read at home anyway"

              It wasn't becuz of her being a woman, but becuz something was holding her back. And that is her body - something she has not control over. So please, refrain from using this dumb claim to assert that men are better than women.

              excerpt no. 9:

              And men are different in intellectual terms, for men are known for their strength of understanding and their memory as compared to women. Women are weaker than men in memory and forget more than men do. This is well known, for most of the reputable scholars in the world are men. There are some women who are more intelligent and have better memories than some men, but this does not cancel out the general rule

              Again, utterly false. All scientifically conducted tests show that the memory of women is not drastically differnt to that of men. There is a slight and minor difference, but that too is of no consequence, and does not hold back women from having any role in society that involves memory.

              The reason why most Islamic scholars are men, is because the "Islamic" world still has not been able to let go of its male-dominated views, and thus women have often been held back from engaging in scholarship or any other field. Also, many female scholars do exist, but are given no importance in history and their work lies in remote libraries, unreferenced and unused, becuase of MALE-DOMINATED IDEAS!

              By the way, Aishaa was a scholar - one of the best of her time. How does one explain that? Khadija was a very successful businesswoman - and the Rasul married her. How can you explain that?

              Many of the Prophet's daughters and grandaughters are respected for their wisdom and their insight. But they're rarely quoted since we live in a MALEDOMINATED SOCIETY.

              I suggest that those who dont want to read the tainted Male Chauvinst scholars, should go to www.themodernreligion.com.

              They have a great collection of articles. And they show a different side of the story altogether with references to historical documents, and other scholarly work of undoubtable authority.

              OH and the Quran is certainly not deliberately misinterpreted there.

              I'm sure the female guppies will like it.




              I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

              Comment


                #8
                aa


                someone once told me that every hadith always has a foundation in the Quran that will support it - so if its not mentioned in Quran in anyway then dont agree with it

                i will definately check out the modern religion website pyariCgudia

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                aNyOne cAn AdMiT tHeY wErE wRoNg - ThE tRuE tEsT iS aDmItTiNg It 2 sOmEoNe ElSe

                [This message has been edited by beena (edited July 14, 2002).]

                [This message has been edited by beena (edited July 14, 2002).]

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by PyariCgudia:
                  I suggest that those who dont want to read the tainted Male Chauvinst scholars,


                  How Paranoid !!!

                  [/b]

                  Well you agree with them because they too belittle the Muslims.

                  That maintainer of that website seems to have such a conceited Self-righteous attitude as if it's his God-given right to tell us who the hypocrites and "Ugly" Muslims are.

                  I mean just look at the mentality of that person. It's as if Muslims are so stupid and ignorant that it's his job to enlighten the Muslims. Why can't he simply stick to explaining Islam, and not concern himself with telling us who are hypocrites, ignorant and "Ugly Muslims".

                  Comment


                    #10
                    4 – Clothing:
                    “O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) over their bosoms (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

                    [al-Ahzaab 33:59]
                    I agree with PCG on this one. Modest clothing doesn't mean being covered head to toe except one eye. How insane! If Allah meant a woman to cover her hair, he would have explicitly said it.
                    Excerpt #2:
                    Ibn Katheer said:

                    Two women are to take the place of one man because women are lacking in reason, as Muslim narrated in his Saheeh… from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O women, give in charity and seek forgiveness a great deal, for I have seen that you form the majority of the people of Hell.” A wise woman among them said, “Why is it, O Messenger of Allaah, that we are the majority of the people of Hell?” He said, “Because you curse too much, and you are ungrateful to your spouses. I have seen none lacking in common sense and failing in religion but (at the same time) robbing the wisdom of the wise, besides you.” The woman asked: “O Messenger of Allaah, what is wrong with our common sense and our religion?” He said: “Your lack of common sense (can be well judged from the fact) that the evidence of two women is equal to that of one man, that is a proof of the lack of common sense, and you spend some nights (and days) in which you do not offer prayer and in the month of Ramadan (during the days) you do not observe fast, that is a failing in religion.”

                    (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/336)

                    There may be some women who are wiser than some men, but this is not the usual rule and such women are not in the majority. Sharee’ah is based on what is general and most common.

                    The fact that women are lacking in reason does not mean that they are crazy, rather their reason is often overtaken by their emotions, and this happens to women more often than it happens to men. No one would deny this except one who is arrogant."
                    Why is it that majority of practicing muslim men have a warped mentality? It is very interesting that if u tell a woman, man, or child that she/he has a limited mental capacity, he will behave in such a manner. I have interacted with a large number of "muslim" woman, those whose husbands/fathers don't allow them outside the home after dark, those who cover all but the eyes, who believe that all the education they deserve/need is Islamic education and that women are only good as housewives and for child bearing. Amazingly, these woman act just like they are not good enough for anything else than being some man's maid and child bearer. Several teenage girls in these type of communities only long to get married at early ages. They get engaged and get married at such ages and lack the knowledge and experience some of us who have had opportunity to gain formal education, travel the world, and socialize with all types of people have.


                    Excerpt no. 3
                    PCG explained it well...

                    Excerpt no. 4:

                    Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women’ means that men are the leaders of women and they should obey them in areas where Allaah has enjoined obedience. Obedience may mean treating his family kindly and protecting his wealth.
                    Leaders of women has an interesting conotation but the excerpt above defines it well. Just because men are dubbed as "leaders" doesn't mean that they have any power over women, the P above explains that it means that the man must treat his family kindly and protect them.

                    Excerpt no. 5:

                    A man can marry four women, but a woman can only have one husband.
                    Exactly! this is a responsibility put on men for the overall well being of the muslim ummah so that when there were few men available, women w/o husbands would not be neglected financially. It is in no way a means to satiate a man's lust.

                    Excerpt no. 6:

                    A man may travel without his wife or any of his mahrams, but a woman may not travel unless she is accompanied by a mahram.
                    Early Islamic scholars (after the 1st 4 caliphs) were hesitant to make any generalized fatwas for the entire Muslim ummah or for different time periods because each society is different with its cultural practices and what fits their particular society of their time would not suit others. Thus we must examine Islamic laws and see if that law is needed in present day in our particular society. If a particular law does not benefit the society, then that law should not be enforced. I'm not sure how this traveling rule came into existence. We do know that it is something that came into existence a long time ago, perhaps over a 1,000 years ago. Things have changed significantly in terms of travel accomodations and safety issues that a woman is able to travel on her own.

                    But what does travel constitute? Does it mean, driving oneself over a period of days, or sitting in a plane for a few hours, or does it have a mileage restriction or would it literally mean, leaving the house unaccompanied?

                    Some may say, the wives of the Prophet never travelled unaccompanied.
                    Obviously, that wasn't the norm 1400 years ago.

                    excerpt no 8:
                    Prayer in the mosque is obligatory for men, but not for women; a woman’s prayer in her house is more beloved to Allaah.
                    From what I've read, my understanding of this excerpt is such that women may pray in the mosque but it is not obligatory because the time of the menses will be quite obvious and that is not the sort of information one would want to advertise.



                    [This message has been edited by Muni (edited July 14, 2002).]

                    Comment


                      #11
                      How many times is this topic going to be discussed in gupshup?? I've tried to stay away from this and similar topics, since i see no point in discussing something that has already been decided on. Allahu Alim.

                      Just wanted to share an article that a read a few weeks ago. May Allah(swt) guide us all. Aameen.

                      http://www.islamzine.com/marriage/polygamy2.html

                      Polygyny: A Blessing in Disguise
                      By Meriem Ezzaoui

                      Redefining the halal and haram is an illness that is spreading rampantly through our ummah. Many Muslims have chosen to define what is permissible and what is prohibited in order to suit their personal needs. These 'modern' definitions are against the commands of Allah(subhanahu wa ta'ala) and the Prophet's(peace be upon him) sunnah and hadith. To prohibit the halal and permit the haram is a grave sin.
                      We are not allowed to prohibit that which Allah (swt) decreed as His favor upon us. It has been forbidden many times within the Qur'an. Allah (swt) says "And do not say, concerning the falsehood which your tongues utter, "This is halal and that is haram," in order to fabricate a lie against Allah; assuredly those who fabricate a lie against Allah will not prosper" (16:116) Why then do we women tend to practice this act of disbelief?

                      Many of you will ask yourselves when have you done this. One word will explain, polygyny. This simple harmless word is the root to our sin. Hearing or reading this word can cause our bodies to react physically. The face cringes, the stomach turns and shivers run throughout our body. Unlike most words this word assumes the role of an enemy. A dark enemy that threatens to take away a valuable possession, our husbands. We must remind ourselves that our husbands are not our possession but a gift from Allah . How can we 'own' another person when we do not even 'own' ourselves? Part of our inner jihad is to reeducate our thoughts on male-female relations. Our minds have been clouded by the Western institution of marriage which forbids polygyny.

                      The marriage structure and marital relations of the West influence many Muslims around the world. We have come to accept the idea of one man one women despite the evidence that these relations often fail quickly and easily and bring more harm to society than good. So why are we so eager to accept a Western practice that clearly does not work the majority of the time? Are we, as an ummah, afraid to be different? Are we trying to blend in with the kufr when we should be setting the example? The Prophet (pbuh), as narrated by Abu Hurayrah, said, " Islam initiated as something strange, and it would revert to its (old position) of being strange, so good tiding to the strangers". Allah (swt) says: "O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the women of the believers to draw upon them their over-garments. That is more appropriate so that they may be recognized and not molested." (33:59). Allah (swt) has not commanded us to hide because we are different from the kufr and the People of the Book. Quite the contrary, we are told to be proud of our differences. We must call to mind frequently that these differences are in fact blessings given to us from Al- Wahhaab. The acceptance of polygyny will strengthen our ummah. Jealousy will subside, extra-martial affairs will decrease, single, widowed, divorced sisters and orphans will have protectors and maintainers.

                      Although, most of us do not declare out loud "Polygyny is haram" the actions and opinions of many support this statement. When our sisters demand that the marriage contract include an 'escape clause' in case of a second wife they are essentially stating that polygyny is haram. The same can be said of women who make it impossible , through personal and financial demands, for a husband to marry another (a right Allah gave all men). Yes, these sisters are not prohibiting polygyny for all, just for their husbands. Instead of helping a sister in need perhaps they are pushing her to sin.

                      The Sunnah of our Prophet (peace and blessing be upon him) allow both polygynous and monogamous marriages. Uthman and Omar were also married to more than one women. Is not the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) the model of the perfect Muslim? Were not Uthman and Omar part of the holiest generations of Muslims? Yet, many try to prove that polygyny is not recommended. A monogamous society is idealistic but not realistic. Human society is not designed for one woman-one man due to death, divorce and believing women outnumbering believing men . Monogamy is more harmful than beneficial to the Muslim ummah. It lacks stability and leads to chaos. This statement is supported by the condition of monogamous societies which suffer from high divorce rates, extra-marital affairs, teen pregnancy and single mothers.

                      Sisters, let us return to the Sunnah and the example set by the Sahabah. These men and women should always remain our role models. Let us try to refrain from condemning their actions as we do when we criticize polygyny. Let us assist our sisters who need a home, love and support. Instead of badmouthing the second wife we should thank Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) for his Compassion. Imagine if your husband were to die what would be your fate? You may have a family to support you but what if that was not the case? No place to shelter your babies and no food to feed them, would you oppose polygyny then? What if you were single with little hope of marriage except to a married brother, would you refuse or accept and complete half your faith?

                      We should want for others what we want and have for ourselves. The ummah will remain weak until we look out for our sisters. By accepting polygyny we create a stable ummah without excessive backbiting and gossip. We help Muslimahs find love, friendship and maintainers. We enable sisters to have a family or care for the one they already have. Instead of working to provide food and clothing she can teach her children Islam. She can study Islam herself and perform dawa. Instead of criticizing and complaining about polygyny praise Allah (swt) for this wonderous blessing.



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                      'Rabbee zidnee`ilmaa'
                      My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.[20:114]

                      The Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:
                      "Whoever sets out on a path to seek knowledge, Allaah will make easy his path to Paradise."
                      [Saheeh Muslim]

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Asalaam ualikum W'r W'b;

                        The argument about covering the bosom is getting tiring. Do the lot of you know that a lot of women in older cultures did use to cover their heads but would lead their bosoms exposed, hence the ayah about covering the bosoms was revealed? A simple advice would be to actually read and understand what the historical significance of things is, before lunging in with your oh-so-uncommon-common-sense!

                        [This message has been edited by Mahiwal (edited July 14, 2002).]

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Jazak'Allahu Khaiy'run ya akhee Mahiwal

                          May Allah(swt) guide us. Aameen

                          ------------------
                          'Rabbee zidnee`ilmaa'
                          My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.[20:114]

                          The Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:
                          "Whoever sets out on a path to seek knowledge, Allaah will make easy his path to Paradise."
                          [Saheeh Muslim]

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Are muslims living in the USA marrying FOUR wives at the same time?

                            There are many reports to suggest that this is the case!

                            Comment


                              #15
                              here's some info from www.themodernreligion.com

                              Excerpt from article by Z. Naik:

                              The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.

                              Please visit the link for more info. http://www.themodernreligion.com/index2.html

                              With regard to the article posted up by Aap Ki Amanat:

                              We must remind ourselves that our husbands are not our possession but a gift from Allah.

                              Women have rights upon their husbands and husbands have rights on their wives. So, actually, if a man has wronged his wife by marrying again, or already being married w/o telling his new wife, etc -- and the polygamy is based only on LUST (why else would a man want to have a second wife who happens to be a young virgin?), then the other wife has her RIGHTS to protest, and demand justice.

                              We have come to accept the idea of one man one women despite the evidence that these relations often fail quickly and easily and bring more harm to society than good.

                              Quite the contrary! Polygamous marriages based upon lust, and no Islamically sound reason, causes jealousy and hatred between wives, and possibly can effect the children of such a marriage. This is plain logic. Also, I'd like to see some statistics on monogamous marriages ending in more divorce, or unhappiness than polygamous marriages!

                              And how can polygamy be better than monogamy when God has clearly Stated in the Quran - Surah Nisa

                              "Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it isyour ardent desire" Surah Nisa, ayah 129

                              If polygamy was to be the MAIN form of marriage, and the PROMOTABLE, and NORMAL form of marriage, then WHY would God make this statement and then tell men to marry more than one woman if they can be equal with all of them?

                              Obviously, this second verse expands upon the verse giving the allowance of polygamy, thus establishing MONOGAMY as the norm, and polygamy as reserved for extra-special situations, like the male-female ratios in the population tipping extremely, or where widows cannot make a living on their own and they've got no inheritance to depend on, etc.


                              When our sisters demand that the marriage contract include an 'escape clause' in case of a second wife they are essentially stating that polygyny is haram. The same can be said of women who make it impossible , through personal and financial demands, for a husband to marry another (a right Allah gave all men).

                              I had posted up a question - can I put it in my nikkah nama that my husband cannot marry a second? And the response I got from many was that I'd be making something haraam which is halaal. Here's a quote from the Quran. Need I say more?

                              And yes, excercising polygamy for LUSTFUL reasons, as it is MOSTLY practiced today, is a cruelty.

                              "If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; And such a settlement is best; Even though men's souls are swayed by greed" Sur Nisaa, ayah 128

                              Furthermore, women who plead to their husbands not to bring in a second wife are JUSTIFIED in MOST cases. Because in MOST cases, the reason is lust, and lust is of course, a sexual greed.

                              For example, in sindhi culture, the waderas have a tradition that the first wife is of the parent's choice - usually another wadera's daugter or a cousin, and the second wife is a personal choice of the young man -- these wives are usually more modernized and hail from the city, or are village girls. And they are almost ALWAYS , NOT WIDOWS or other unfortunate women!

                              Also - second shaadis are very common when it comes to getting green cards and citizenship in a western country. The first wife is usually off in the Pakistan, while the second is abroad -- and OFTEN the two wives dont even know of each other's existance!

                              Now you tell me, that these common cases of polygamy are HALAAL, and shouldn't be protested against! Sheesh.

                              Monogamy is more harmful than beneficial to the Muslim ummah. It lacks stability and leads to chaos. This statement is supported by the condition of monogamous societies which suffer from high divorce rates, extra-marital affairs, teen pregnancy and single mothers.

                              The author forgot to account for the state of the family, declining family values, loose morals, increasing allowance and PROMOTION of pre-marital sex, rampant SEX CULTURE as seen in heavy prostitution and societal approval of prostitution, increase in unmarried couples living together, increase in drug and alcohol use which can cause a man to desert his wife and children, lack of community involvement in keeping marriages together, lack of social stigma towards divorce, and the heavy influence of the media which actually approves of extra-marital affairs, fornication, etc as "cool".

                              This author left out so many factors, and has as cooly dismissed monogamous societies as destructive, as easily as I could dismiss an apple for an ape!


                              "Men are protectors & maintainers of women ayah." Surah Nisa, ayah 34

                              According to the Abdullah Yusuf Ali, the translator to my Quranic translation, the arabic word and definition for "Protection" is --

                              Qawwam: standing firm, managing affairs with a steady purpose

                              Now where in this definition does it imply that a man is intellectually and religiously superior to his wife?
                              I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

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