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    who wears the pants in the house?

    okay assuming that the majority of guppies are Mulims (practising or not) i have the following question.
    In a muslim family unit, each member assumes roles and responsibilities right?

    Is it fair to say that the husband is the overall leader of the household, and has the most authority? ie. in decision makin, he has the final say in any matter?

    Personally, i feel this is common islamic knowledge! If if i were a girl, i would have no problem in accepting it.

    However, I WOULD have a problem, if my husband, adhered to it strictly, and neglected to consider any opinions of ma own.

    But on the whole, surely there is wisdom behind giving more authority to the husband, in the way Islam advocates it.

    There has to be order, there must be a leader. If there was equality between hubby and wife, as far as authority and decision making went, wouldn't there be countless arguments and stalemates?

    Islam gives that entrusts this resposibility to the husband. It is up to the husband to use it wisely, and treat his wife in a good manner, and allow her say...

    EQUALLY IMPORTANTLY, THE WIFE MUST RECOGNISE THIS AND ACCEPT IT.

    If she doesn't, and refuses to give in to this, isn't that in a way undermining her husbands authority, and inadvertantly staking her claim to equality? perhaps i'm wrong...


    I just think that, if she accepted it fully as the way the family is supposed to work, with the hubby being the head/authority/leader and the wife being his most valued consultant, then there wouldn't be a problem! everything would work like clockwork. Who knows, maybe the husband, if he's intelligent enough will realise his wife's understanding this, and respect her more?

    comments anyone...



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    I have the heart of a child. Its in a jar on my desk.

    #2
    Originally posted by Rebs438:
    okay assuming that the majority of guppies are Mulims (practising or not) i have the following question.
    In a muslim family unit, each member assumes roles and responsibilities right?

    Is it fair to say that the husband is the overall leader of the household, and has the most authority? ie. in decision makin, he has the final say in any matter?

    Personally, i feel this is common islamic knowledge! If if i were a girl, i would have no problem in accepting it.

    However, I WOULD have a problem, if my husband, adhered to it strictly, and neglected to consider any opinions of ma own.

    But on the whole, surely there is wisdom behind giving more authority to the husband, in the way Islam advocates it.

    There has to be order, there must be a leader. If there was equality between hubby and wife, as far as authority and decision making went, wouldn't there be countless arguments and stalemates?

    Islam gives that entrusts this resposibility to the husband. It is up to the husband to use it wisely, and treat his wife in a good manner, and allow her say...

    EQUALLY IMPORTANTLY, THE WIFE MUST RECOGNISE THIS AND ACCEPT IT.

    If she doesn't, and refuses to give in to this, isn't that in a way undermining her husbands authority, and inadvertantly staking her claim to equality? perhaps i'm wrong...


    I just think that, if she accepted it fully as the way the family is supposed to work, with the hubby being the head/authority/leader and the wife being his most valued consultant, then there wouldn't be a problem! everything would work like clockwork. Who knows, maybe the husband, if he's intelligent enough will realise his wife's understanding this, and respect her more?

    comments anyone...


    perfect.

    but u see husbands r seldom intelligent enough and wives seldom patient.

    Comment


      #3
      husbands r seldom intelligent enough and wives seldom patient.

      so true.

      I dont know if Islam gives the husband more power in decision making, although I do know that the woman is definitely allowed to make decisions for the household, financial matters, etc. It ought to be a 50/50 thing. Its hard to have a 50/50 relationship, but if you work hard its possible. I dont know if Islam gives the hubby the final say...I doubt it would. But if one spouse is insisting on doing something unislamically, then the other is obligated to conduct matters islamically and correct the spouse.
      I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

      Comment


        #4
        i guess what i was hinting at is 'leadership'

        can both wife and husband be leaders of the same household at the same time? can they both be masters at the same time? can they both be the head of the house?

        at the end of the day, like it or not, the husband is given the responsibility of leadership/authority. islam gives him this title...but it can be a privilege, or it can be a curse

        i say privilege because if he fulfills it, to the best of his capabilities, and pleases his wife in the process...then he will be rewarded greatly...

        but given the nature of women it is also a curse, because he can also abuse it, and hurt his wife, and neglect her totally
        cos lets face it, ALL women naggggggg
        anyone agree with me?

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        I have the heart of a child. Its in a jar on my desk.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by doctornaveeed:

          perfect.

          but u see husbands r seldom intelligent enough and wives seldom patient.
          ummm, surely its more reasonable to say that...
          husbands are seldom PATIENT enough, and wives seldom INTELLIGENT?

          not demeaning the status of women in the least...Hadith states that women have LESS common sense.

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          I have the heart of a child. Its in a jar on my desk.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Rebs438:
            not demeaning the status of women in the least...Hadith states that women have LESS common sense.
            Authentic or Inauthentic ?

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Khoon-e-Shaheed:
              Authentic or Inauthentic ?


              well whether its authentic or not...see for yourself at www.themodernreligion.com

              the following i exerpt is taken from this site. Check under the topic of WOMEN, you will find a this link 'Injustice & Distortions' and then click on 'are there more women than men in hell?'

              BTW, i recommend this site very highly... not cos of this topic, but on general islamic info. if you couldn't find what u were looking before, trust me, the chances are...its there...


              I would like to examine more closely the saying about Hell being two-thirds full of women. The hadith in fact came in several different versions, based on two quite separate occasions - the first being the collection of alms after the Eid prayer, as I have presented it in my article, and the second being the day of the tragic death of the Prophet’s (Allah bless him and give him peace) son Ibrahim, when an eclipse occurred. Added phrases mention the women’s practice of Islam as being inferior to that of the men.

              Taking the ‘eclipse’ sayings first:

              Abdullah bin Abbas (who was also the source of the hadith given in Bukhari 1:28, where the occasion was the Eid prayer) narrated: The sun eclipsed in the lifetime of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace). Allah's Apostle offered the eclipse prayer and stood for a long period equal to the time in which one could recite Surat-al-Baqara. Then he bowed for a long time and then stood up for a long period which was shorter than that of the first standing, then bowed again for a long time but for a shorter period than the first; then he prostrated twice and then stood up for a long period which was shorter than that of the first standing; then he bowed for a long time which was shorter than the previous one, and then he raised his head and stood up for a long period which was shorter than the first standing, then he bowed for a long time which was shorter than the first bowing, and then prostrated (twice) and finished the prayer. By then, the sun (eclipse) had cleared. The Prophet then said, "The sun and the moon are two of the signs of Allah. They eclipse neither because of the death of somebody nor because of his life (i.e. birth). So when you see them, remember Allah." The people say, "O Allah's Apostle! We saw you taking something from your place and then we saw you retreating." The Prophet replied, "I saw Paradise and stretched my hands towards a bunch (of its fruits) and had I taken it, you would have eaten from it as long as the world remains. I also saw the Hell-fire and I had never seen such a horrible sight. I saw that most of the inhabitants were women." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! Why is it so?" The Prophet replied, "Because of their ungratefulness." It was asked whether they are ungrateful to Allah. The Prophet said, "They are ungrateful to their companions of life (husbands) and ungrateful to good deeds. If you are benevolent to one of them throughout the life and if she sees anything (undesirable) in you, she will say, 'I have never had any good from you.' " (Buk 2.161).

              Buk 7.125 gives the first part the same as the above, and continues: "I saw Paradise (or Paradise was shown to me), and I stretched my hand to pluck a bunch (of grapes), and had I plucked it, you would have eaten of it as long as this world exists. Then I saw the (Hell) Fire, and I have never before, seen such a horrible sight as that, and I saw that the majority of its dwellers were women." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What is the reason for that?" He replied, "Because of their ungratefulness." It was said. "Do they disbelieve in Allah (are they ungrateful to Allah)?" He replied, "They are not thankful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favours done to them. Even if you do good to one of them all your life, when she seems some harshness from you, she will say, "I have never seen any good from you.' "

              Now let us consider the Eid sayings:

              Abu Said al-Khudri narrated: Once Allah's Apostle went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) on 'Id-al-Adha or al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, "O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women)." They asked, "Why is it so, O Allah's Apostle?" He replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you." The women asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?" He said, "Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?" They replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn't it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?" The women replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her religion." (Bukhari 1.301).

              According to Bukhari 2.541 Abu Said al-Khudri narrated: On 'Id ul Fitr or 'Id ul Adha Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) went out to the Musalla. After finishing the prayer, he delivered the sermon and ordered the people to give alms. He said, "O people! Give alms." Then he went towards the women and said. "O women! Give alms, for I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-Fire were you (women)." The women asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What is the reason for it?" He replied, "O women! You curse frequently, and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. O women, some of you can lead a cautious wise man astray." Then he left. And when he reached his house, Zainab, the wife of Ibn Mas'ud, came and asked permission to enter it was said, "O Allah's Apostle! It is Zainab." He asked, "Which Zainab?" The reply was that she was the wife of Ibn Mas'ud. He said, "Yes, allow her to enter." And she was admitted. Then she said, "O Prophet of Allah! Today you ordered people to give alms and I had an ornament and intended to give it as alms, but Ibn Mas'ud said that he and his children deserved it more than anybody else." The Prophet replied, "Ibn Mas'ud had spoken the truth. Your husband and your children had more right to it than anybody else."

              In Muslim 31 Abdullah ibn Umar narrated: The Messenger of Allah observed: O women, you should give charity and ask for much forgiveness for I saw you in majority amongst the dwellers of Hell. A wise lady among them said: Why is it, Messenger of Allah, that our gender is in majority in Hell? Upon this the Holy Prophet observed: You curse too much and are ungrateful to your spouses. I have seen none lacking in common sense and failing in religion but (at the same time) robbing the wisdom of the wise, besides you. Upon this the woman remarked: What is wrong with our common sense and with religion? He (the Holy prophet) observed: Your lack of common sense (can be well judged from the fact) that the evidence of two women is equal to that of one man, that is a proof of the lack of common sense, and you spend some nights (and days) in which you do not offer prayer and in the month of Ramadan (during the days) you do not observe fast, that is a failing in religion. This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Abu Tahir with this chain of transmitters. See also Muslim 448.





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              I have the heart of a child. Its in a jar on my desk.

              Comment


                #8
                I didn't get that common sense thing anyways.......


                Exactly, women and men are both equal in Islam and a husband is the household. If husband performs his duties well then wife definitely has to obey him....But if he doesn't fulfil her needs then he has no right to force her for anything....He can't force...Islam doesn't allow that!


                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by CurruptAngel:
                  I didn't get that common sense thing anyways.......

                  is that cos u lack common sense?joke tha jee

                  yes the rest of whatever u said is haq...its husbands responsibility, which he must fulfill well and not abuse, else he will be answerable for it...

                  Comment

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