Husband vs. Religion

[bcsm57 Find all posts View Profile Close bcsm57]

Hello,
I am having a very serious problem. My husband seems to have come to the conclusion that all religion is a bunch of @#!*, and thinks that I should believe this too. Trying to force his idea on me!!!
The problem is I don't!!! I feel that without religion in your life, you are basicaly lost.
Any ideas? Don't want to give up husband, can't give up religion. See my confusion?


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Brenda McLennan

[CocoNut Find all posts View Profile Close CocoNut]

Hey Brenda right? Well, I'm not sure what religion you or your husband follows but I'd suggest if he feels that way he is still following his own set of beliefs which inturn makes it a religion. Tell him to research on the major religions of the world. As for him forcing his ideas upon you is like me giving you a delicacy you might not like possibly regurgitate. Its best if you show your ideas to him and refute each idea he spews out by logic. Seems clear that he has lost all insight in spirituality, its better if you use logic against him, for him. In the process, enlighten him with various literature because he's only doing it out of ignorance and has given up.

Just my opinion.

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Jitna Diya Sarkar Nay Mujko, Itni Meri Auqat Nahi, Yeh Saab Tumhara Karam Hai Aqa, Mujh Mein Aisi Koi Baat Nahin.


When You Do Something Right, No One Notices..

[belle Find all posts View Profile Close belle]

Hi,

Coconut put it very well. Also the reason for which he might have come to this conclusion is because of something that might have happened recently or in the past to have him ponder about his religion this way. Simply ask him to justify his means of think, there has to be an event(s) that took place that made him change his opinion. Be tolerant and have him rationalize his psyche through a form of communication in which you don’t end up yelling at each other but rather talking it out.

Best wishes.

[bcsm57 Find all posts View Profile Close bcsm57]

Originally posted by CocoNut:
Hey Brenda right? Well, I'm not sure what religion you or your husband follows but I'd suggest if he feels that way he is still following his own set of beliefs which inturn makes it a religion. Tell him to research on the major religions of the world. As for him forcing his ideas upon you is like me giving you a delicacy you might not like possibly regurgitate. Its best if you show your ideas to him and refute each idea he spews out by logic. Seems clear that he has lost all insight in spirituality, its better if you use logic against him, for him. In the process, enlighten him with various literature because he's only doing it out of ignorance and has given up.

Just my opinion.

Thank you so much for answering my post, and what you say makes a lot of sense, the only problem with that is the way he express his feelings about it(long tirads with words that I would not think of putting here, or anwhere else for that matter).
Sometimes I think he is using a lot of my own confusion against me. He knows that I am having doubts about my own religion(Christian) as I feel that it has gotten to premisive. But in any case thank you!!!

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Brenda McLennan

[bcsm57 Find all posts View Profile Close bcsm57]

Originally posted by belle:
Hi,

Coconut put it very well. Also the reason for which he might have come to this conclusion is because of something that might have happened recently or in the past to have him ponder about his religion this way. Simply ask him to justify his means of think, there has to be an event(s) that took place that made him change his opinion. Be tolerant and have him rationalize his psyche through a form of communication in which you don’t end up yelling at each other but rather talking it out.

Best wishes.

Hi,

Coconut put it very well. Also the reason for which he might have come to this conclusion is because of something that might have happened recently or in the past to have him ponder about his religion this way. Simply ask him to justify his means of think, there has to be an event(s) that took place that made him change his opinion. Be tolerant and have him rationalize his psyche through a form of communication in which you don’t end up yelling at each other but rather talking it out.

Best wishes.

Thank You for responding to my post.
Sometimes I think he feels that way, because if you throw out religion, then you can do anything you like. Below are some examples, I have always dressed very conservatively(at least by American Standards)Nothing short, tight or revealing(Only showing my face and hands) My husband on the other hand thinks I should wear tight, short skirts, but I don't want that kind of attention. He watches porn movies and surfs for porn on the internet, and can't understand why I think they are disgusting and humilate women. He drinks a lot, and I don't believe in drinking alcohol at all.(It just brings out the ugly side of people) I have always taught my children that sex, should be saved just for marriage, and he seems to think that when you are single that it is more like a recreational sport. Not to mention the fact that he has rather odd ideas about sex in marriage(I won't go into the gory details, but I have never heared of anything so wierd in my life)
All of this with the fact that I am doubting my own religious beliefs(Christian) as I feel that the Christian church has become to liberaly.
I was always taught that you should respect your husband, but with his thinking it is very hard.
So perhaps you can understand my confusion.
Any idea would be most appreciated!!!
and

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Brenda McLennan

[CocoNut Find all posts View Profile Close CocoNut]

Originally posted by bcsm57:
the only problem with that is the way he express his feelings about it(long tirads with words that I would not think of putting here, or anwhere else for that matter).

The key is to listen to him. Take points on what he's doubtful about and where you're doubtful. Look for logic and not just blind faith. For example, there are sources in the bible which say that Jesus went in prostration during prayer; do you want to just believe it was the holy spirit or leave it as it is or find out why? and what for? These days people recite hymns, read texts and do their obligatory duties to religion just because; I don't find that right, there has to be ample reason provided.

All is explained in 3 faiths. Christianity, Judaism and Islam (ofcourse in my opinion combines both and presents sound logic apart from the media blasts but thats not the point).

Sometimes I think he is using a lot of my own confusion against me.
Its time you should search for further literature out of your faith and compare to others to bring yourself and him at peace. Thats what I told my brother in law when he was once an Irish Orthodox Christian, he researched and found Islam to be sound. On the other hand I told the very thing to my friend and she accepted Hinduism from Atheism. Its really up to you, I'm not going to force you.

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Jitna Diya Sarkar Nay Mujko, Itni Meri Auqat Nahi, Yeh Saab Tumhara Karam Hai Aqa, Mujh Mein Aisi Koi Baat Nahin.


When You Do Something Right, No One Notices..

[belle Find all posts View Profile Close belle]

Hi,
Will you check your PM, I left you a message in there. It’s the inbox just in case you don’t know.

CoCcnut, for what its worth reading this from me, Masha”Allah you give awesome advice. Very impressive.

Take care