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    Married Muslims

    Okay so Muslim Men can take more than one wife! So I have been led to believe.

    As a White Christian, Catholic, American guy this sounds strange.

    At first I thought two wives would be awesome!!! Because of the obvious reasons. (mostly sexual) but then I realize that one wife is really challenging enough, who would have the energy and patients to handle two wives. It would be my luck that they would argue a lot and then I would be stuck right in the middle of it all. And certain times of the month would be totally unbearable. Better have a little place out in the garage where you can go get away from it all during those times.

    No thanks.

    So this puts the whole love and commitment thing in question.

    What is a Muslim wedding? Does it include taking vows? At my wedding I vowed to my wife to honor and cherish her through sickness and in health, richer or poorer, better or worse until death do we part.

    I vowed to forsake all others unto thee.

    So I am just wondering what do Muslims vow or promise to each other when they wed?


    Because If I was a married Muslim Man for example. Could I date? Why couldn't I date? If I can take additional wives can I "try before I buy"

    I mean is that not natural to date before you marry? Is it not allowed to date the second potential wife before marrying?

    What would stop me from simply always dating others while married? I could just go from woman to woman always saying that last woman was just not the right second wife for me. And then onto the next.

    How does all that work? Seriously.


    #2
    Do Muslim Men's second wives tend to be younger then the first?

    Comment


      #3
      This is not directed to you personally, but most White Christian Catholic American guys never seem to have the above cited problems when committing adultery while married, or while having 2 or 3 girlfrieds at the same time, or while cheating on their spouses, or even engaging in multiple partner scenarios, plus a hoard of other scenarios, where more than one partner is involved.

      Lets answer all the above 'wrong and immoral and incomprehensible' scenarios, and then we will discuss polygamy, which, to say the least, is a legal marriage, nothing immoral, or sneaky.

      Comment


        #4
        mmike how about this idea for a difference

        Nair Polyandry

        The Nairs used to practice polyandry reminiscent of the Pandava-Panchali relationship, a custom that can be traced to Tibet. The following is a summary of the custom as recorded by L. K. A. Iyer in his Cochin Tribes and Castes. II, 39: "At ten or twelve years of age of a girl, her mother begged someone of their relations to marry her (the daughter) and they did so by tying a marriage badge (tali). Then the bridegroom would leave her and go away without any consideration of his new relationship (often back to the army and the battle field). She might also remain with him if he wished. If she was not inclined to do so, the mother would then go about seeking someone else to take her daughter to live with him. If the girl happened to be pretty, three of four Nairs would agree to live with her, and the more lovers she had, the more highly she was esteemed. Each man had his appointed time from midday to the next day at the same hour, during which some sign was placed at the door so that the others might not enter. She was at liberty to dismiss whomever she disliked ... The fathers [of the children] were named by the mothers. It is said that the kings made this law in order that the Nairs might not abandon their service. According to this system, the fathers were not succeeded by their sons but by their nephews (sons of sisters)."

        Nair Matriarchal System
        http://www.gotop10.com/KJ/khnairs.html

        Comment


          #5
          Heck I'll answer anyway.

          What is a Muslim wedding? Does it include taking vows?

          It consists of a 'Nikaah', in which the consent of the two partners is taken by a Qazi, a religious scholar. The vows part, well, I figure, that comes naturally with a marriage, so its not necessary to have a person say that they will care for their spouse after marriage. Anyway, theres nothing wrong in saying that anyway.

          better or worse until death do we part

          Does that mean you vowed never to divorce your wife under any conditions?

          Because If I was a married Muslim Man for example. Could I date? Why couldn't I date? If I can take additional wives can I "try before I buy"

          A second marriage has a truckload of conditions attached to it, moral, economical, physical and what not. And under normal circumstances, its virtually impossible for a person to fulfill all those requirements. So a second or third marriage is not as common an occurence as you would believe.

          Is it not allowed to date the second potential wife before marrying?

          Chaperoned date, yes. Anything else, no.

          What would stop me from simply always dating others while married?

          Common sense.
          First of all, youd need a viable reason to go for a second wife. And if you have a viable reason, you wouldnt need too long to find someone.

          Comment


            #6
            i think real reason for this is save widows
            as a result of war. in a war you end up with excess of women

            Comment


              #7
              >>>As a White Christian, Catholic, American guy .<<<<

              How can you be so many things at the same time?

              Comment


                #8
                Its cool to think i could have four wives and get away with it in the eyes of God. But, my family would kill me. Besides, im already engaged and im totally head over heals for my fiance, so I would never consider 3 other wives as an option.

                As for the White Catholic American Guy part,
                I figure if the Catholic chirch were aloud to dictate your love life, it would be a lot more bizzare then the Mulsims. For example, i had heard that at one time, sexual positions were dictated by the Church, it was considered a sin for the woman to be on top. The reason white American male catholics are so liberal is not because their religion alows them to be, but because the society itself along with the rest of the West has become increasingly secular in its beliefs. I mean everywhere u look, church attendance is way down.
                So, i think rather thann calling yourself a White CATHOLIC American male, you should refer to yourself as simply Mr White American Male.

                [This message has been edited by Adnan Ahmed (edited March 08, 2002).]

                Comment


                  #9
                  Christian as well as Catholic guy.

                  I don't think so Man. Correct me if I'm wrong. Catholics worship "Virgin Mary". On the other hand, Christians are the follwers of "Jesus Christ". Seems to me you are pretending here! First, make your mind clearly about it.

                  *Play your game - Guess my motto*

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Akif:


                    Does that mean you vowed never to divorce your wife under any conditions?
                    [/B]
                    I did. Yes, never.

                    Death pretty much gets me out of the agreement, but that is just about it.

                    It's a moral commitment more so then a legal commitment. Legally I can divorce with not much of a problem but morally I am committed to the end.

                    But for example if my wife leaves me for some reason then I can go to the church and have my marriage annulled. Or for some other extreme situation.


                    It takes a lot of work to keep marriage fresh and healthy. Some people do not put the energy into it. Instead they resort to adultery or simply divorce and start all over.

                    It is common for people to put Church teachings second to the pursuit of personal happiness and take the easy way out. But the easy way is not always what might be best way.

                    We will all have to answer for our own actions in the end.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Pakistani Tiger:


                      I don't think so Man. Correct me if I'm wrong. Catholics worship "Virgin Mary". On the other hand, Christians are the follwers of "Jesus Christ".

                      Okay. Catholics, We worship God as followers of Jesus Christ!

                      We believe Jesus is the Son of God and pray to God through his son Jesus and follow his teachings.

                      We recognize a mysterious connection between God the Father, Jesus the son and the Holy spirit of God which plays an active part in our lives.

                      We see Mary as the mother of Jesus. We might pray to Mary to ask her to bless us and to pray to God on our behalf.

                      Certain Catholic Cultures have a greater connection to Mary then others.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        So a second marriage is a well though out process that includes both parties.

                        And is something that is usually decided before the search for that second wife begins?

                        And, no way can a woman have two husbands, correct?

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Adnan Ahmed:

                          So, i think rather thann calling yourself a White CATHOLIC American male, you should refer to yourself as simply Mr White American Male.

                          That's okay I am not ashamed of being Catholic, and because I am in a religious forum I thought it might be relevant to mention what religion I am.

                          It might explain why I am asking so many questions about polygamy, it's just a very foreign idea to me.


                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by MMike:

                            That's okay I am not ashamed of being Catholic, and because I am in a religious forum I thought it might be relevant to mention what religion I am.

                            It might explain why I am asking so many questions about polygamy, it's just a very foreign idea to me.

                            No, dont get me wrong, i have nothing aginst you calling yourself Catholic, i give you all the respect.
                            I was simply speaking in refernace to what you said about the Dating and all that stuff, and the idea of being liberal minded towards such issues. My point was that the reason Americans, and the West in general are so open minded about pre-marital relations, in whatever form they may be, is not because they are Christians, but rather because they are a secular society. That was my point when is said that if the Church were directly involved in your love life, it would also be thought of as Bizzare.
                            I know many muslims today that Date, i also know Christians who dont want to have sex till they marry.
                            I hope i made my point easier to understand.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Yes, Dating is encouraged among people of my faith but sexual relations are reserved only for husband and wife.


                              Comment

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