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    Istikhara

    Hey ppl im sure this one has been discussed many times before.
    But anyways, i tried doing istikhara cos im interested in this girl that i would like to marry.
    Now the confusion is; my friends say im supposed to see some sort of sign, eg someone may tell me the nxt day that she is a bad person etc etc. (so that would mean NO i shouldnt marry her)
    whereas i always thought that ur supposed to see something in a dream ?

    i have tried istikhara 3 times, and havent seen anything in a dream or any sign.
    so does anyone know what im supposed to do now ?

    #2
    My friend,

    How did you know that you had to conduct an 'istikhara' before making a decision in your life?

    The whole purpose that Allah sent us to this life is to make decisions and make more good ones than bad.

    If we are going to ask him about making these decisions than where's the 'responsibility' of making your decisions yourself and accepting repurcussions?

    I had a mangnee. I did my 'istikhara' as my mom told me to.. It turned out right, as per her definitions. The mangnee didn't! Before the breakup I took another istikhara to see if I should take that step. Again the istikhara came out right!

    I've filed it under "Baloney" for the time being till someone comes up with a better explanation from the Qur'an necessitating the need for asking Allah before you make your own decisions.

    ------------------
    These are GOD's revelations that we recite to you truthfully. In which Hadith other than GOD and His revelations do they believe?(45:6)
    JaddoN kaddya jaloos ghareeba tay shehr ich choatalee lug gayee

    Comment


      #3
      eemo,

      One does not necessarily see the outcome of the Istikhaarah in a dream. That is not to say, that this should be ruled out altogether. However, the result of the Istikhaarah can be determined by other events too.

      Once you have made Istikhaarah, act upon your inclinations. In other words, do what your heart feels comfortable and satisfied with. In your case, whether your heart feels inclined and comfortable with asking for the sister's hand in marriage.

      If you notice many obstacles or barriers come between you and your wishes, then this can be a sign from the Istikhaarah, that she is not the right one for you. Such an obstacle may come in the form of a straight rejection by either her or her family, or perhaps you yourself may notice reasons for incompatibilty as events unfold.

      However, if nothing prevents you from approaching her parents with a marriage proposal, and they and their daughter agree to the offer, then this is clearly a sign that you ought to marry her, as she is the girl for you Insha'Allaah.

      Throughout all the stages of your actions continuously supplicate to Allaah, and ask Him to bless you with the best, and always consult your heart.

      Remember, the feelings and signs of Istikhaarah, both good and bad, are from Allaah - subhaan wa ta'aala - so be at the very least content with what he has decredd for you, and you will see many blessings from Him in the future.

      ... and He - the the Highest Authority to Judge - knows best.

      WasSalaam

      Comment


        #4
        Its also a good idea sometimes to ask someone you consider pious & trustworthy to do the Istikhara for you!
        I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
        - Robert McCloskey

        Comment


          #5
          PakistaniAbroad,

          And how do you know that he does not need to perform Istikhaarah?

          Istkhaarah, is to consult and seek guidance from Allaah subhaan wa t’aala. Do you not suplicate to Allaah? The first verse of the Qur’aan, Al-Faatihah, is a supplication asking Allaah to guide us to the straight path. This is also the supplication you make to Allaah in your salaah (prayer) while you stand in front of Allaah in a state of humility. Further, when you sit in Tashahud (sitting in prayer), you are supplicating and asking Allaah to guide you. Similarly, supplication involved in the salaah (prayer) of Istikhaarah is a supplication asking for guidance.

          The Prophet – salallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam – said: “ The supplication, it is worship”.

          All of this clearly highlights the importance of supplicating, together with a fact directly related to Istikhaarah, that one of the companions, Jaabir ibn Abdullaah (radhiAllaahu anhu) narrated that: the Prophet – salallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam – would instruct us to pray for guidance in all of our concerns, just as he would teach us a chapter from the Qur’aan. He – salallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam – would say, “If any of you intends to undertake a matter, then let him pray two supererogatory units (i.e. two raka’ah naafilah) of prayer and after which he should supplicate … [Then the supplication is stated here].”

          I would like to know how you did Istikhaarah, and how was it interpreted?

          I've filed it under "Baloney" for the time being
          Do not insult a Religion, simply becuase you have no knowlede of it.

          Comment


            #6
            ahmadjee,

            Its also a good idea sometimes to ask someone you consider pious & trustworthy to do the Istikhara for you!
            I'm afraid there's no authenticity behind this statement.

            However, it can be said, that all parties involved in a matter should perform Istikhaarah. For example, in the case of eemo, his parents and the girl along with her parents also ought to seek guidance from Allaah via this method and through supplication.

            eemo,

            One thing i forgot to mention. It is also recommended, that once Istikhaarah has been conducted, advise should be sought by those who are experienced in such matters, might they be members of the family, friends or scholars. At the same time make plenty of du'aa and act upon your instincts.

            ... and Allaah knows best.

            Comment


              #7
              Sentinal bhai,

              I was talking from my personal experience!

              Please let us all know where it is stated that we shouldn't ask a third party for Istikhara?

              Indeed personal Istikhaara is prefered!
              I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
              - Robert McCloskey

              Comment


                #8
                ahmadjee,

                With all due respect, in direct matters of religion, if there is no basis for a statement or an issue - from the Qur'aan, the Sunnah, the understanding of the Companions or a consensus of the scholars who follow/followed them - then personal opinions should be left with ones self. This is simply for the reason, as not to send wrong messages to what exactly is part of the Religion and what is not a part of it. With personal opinions, there is further a danger, that due to the lack of knowledge or understanding of many of us with regards to our Religion, we may take this personal opinion and make it a part of the Religion, thus introducing a newly invented matter. This is very dangerous, as i'm sure you'll agree.

                Please let us all know where it is stated that we shouldn't ask a third party for Istikhara?
                In matters related to Religion (as in many other cases), it is for the one who is suggesting something to bring forward the evidence and proof, just like in any court of law (as an example) - if someone believes that his wallet was stolen, then it is up to him, firstly to prove that he had a wallet (perhaps through an invoice or receipt), and secondly to prove where the wallet was stolen (maybe through witnesses), and so on and so forth.

                Similarly, i can bring to your attention that the people involved in a given matter, are expected to make Istikhaarah for themselves, by presenting you with the hadeeth of the Messenger of Allaah - salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam - upon the authority of Ibn Jaabir:

                [i]“If any of you intends to undertake a matter, then let him pray two supererogatory units (i.e. two raka’ah naafilah) of prayer and after which he should supplicate … [Then the supplication is stated here].”[i]

                Now it is up to you to present your evidence, that ...

                Its also a good idea sometimes to ask someone you consider pious & trustworthy to do the Istikhara for you!
                However, as you said that this was only your personal experience, you're not obliged to do so in this instance, as it is not a part of the religion.

                ... and Allaah - subhaan wa ta'aala - knows best.

                regards

                Comment


                  #9
                  Bhai Sentinal,

                  I agree with you totally! And thank you for pointing out the Hadiths.

                  Let me check with my elders who do believe in doing the istakhara themselves & also asking others to do it for them, what do they have to say about this Hadiths. And I will post their answer here? Deal?

                  Though, let me point out to you that the Hadiths that you quoted asked the individual to do the instakhara himself, but didn't prohibit asking someone else. Am I understanding it right?

                  Thanks once again for your input!
                  I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
                  - Robert McCloskey

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Sentinel, the sign, incidents you have mentioned above, after performing Istikhara. Can they occure even without Istikhara???

                    ------------------
                    • “na maiN momin vich masiitaaN, na maiN muusaa, na fir'aun!”
                    Ain't new ta this....HOMEINVASION('93)

                    Comment


                      #11
                      ahmadjee,

                      Though, let me point out to you that the Hadiths that you quoted asked the individual to do the instakhara himself, but didn't prohibit asking someone else. Am I understanding it right?
                      Although it has not been prohibited in this specific hadeeth, it does not mean it is allowable. This advice of the Prophet - salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam - was given only to those who intend to undertake a matter. For example, there are several ahadeeth that state exactly how many units of prayer the Prophet - salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam - performed during his daily prayers, while no prohibition is made against additional or sbtractial units. Now, if were to add extra units or shorten the prescribed prayers (for example, make the 4 units of Dhur into 2 or 6), then this would clearly not be accepted by Allaah (swt). Yet there is no prohibition of any sort made as you refered to above.

                      regards

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Ali_R,

                        Sentinel, the sign, incidents you have mentioned above, after performing Istikhara. Can they occure even without Istikhara???
                        Yes they can, but you will not know whether such signs are from Allaah - subhaan wa ta'aala - or from the evil whisperings and plots of shaytaan.

                        This is why it is important to carry out Istikhaarah, as advised by the Prophet - salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam - as you shall then know that such signs can only be from Allaah Insha'Allaah ta'aala, and no other.

                        regards

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Do not insult a Religion, simply becuase you have no knowlede of it.
                          Sentinel,

                          I've read about turning to Allah in fear and hope, but not for each an every important decision in our life. If that were the case, Allah would have told us explicitly in his book that we are to consult him everytime we are going to make a tough decision.

                          So you think Istikhara, as the question was asked, is part of the religion??

                          [This message has been edited by PakistaniAbroad (edited November 07, 2001).]
                          JaddoN kaddya jaloos ghareeba tay shehr ich choatalee lug gayee

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Sentinel:
                            eemo,

                            One does not necessarily see the outcome of the Istikhaarah in a dream. That is not to say, that this should be ruled out altogether. However, the result of the Istikhaarah can be determined by other events too.

                            Once you have made Istikhaarah, act upon your inclinations. In other words, do what your heart feels comfortable and satisfied with. In your case, whether your heart feels inclined and comfortable with asking for the sister's hand in marriage.

                            If you notice many obstacles or barriers come between you and your wishes, then this can be a sign from the Istikhaarah, that she is not the right one for you. Such an obstacle may come in the form of a straight rejection by either her or her family, or perhaps you yourself may notice reasons for incompatibilty as events unfold.

                            However, if nothing prevents you from approaching her parents with a marriage proposal, and they and their daughter agree to the offer, then this is clearly a sign that you ought to marry her, as she is the girl for you Insha'Allaah.

                            Throughout all the stages of your actions continuously supplicate to Allaah, and ask Him to bless you with the best, and always consult your heart.

                            Remember, the feelings and signs of Istikhaarah, both good and bad, are from Allaah - subhaan wa ta'aala - so be at the very least content with what he has decredd for you, and you will see many blessings from Him in the future.

                            ... and He - the the Highest Authority to Judge - knows best.

                            WasSalaam



                            Islam doesn't support priesthood (as in Christianity) so the idea of asking for somebody else to do istikhara in that light is wrong. Istikhara is not only for marriage purpose but for anything that a person is confused about and unable to make decision so he asks for help from Allah (swt) and acts upon accordingly.

                            You won't necessarily see something in your dream or you may not be told but things will become easier for you (if they are good for you) and difficult (if they are bad for you).

                            Comment


                              #15
                              khan_sahib,

                              things will become easier for you (if they are good for you) and difficult (if they are bad for you).
                              Precisely! Masha'Allaah.

                              PakistaniAbroad,

                              So you think Istikhara, as the question was asked, is part of the religion??
                              Is the Messenger of Allaah - salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam - a part of the Religion?

                              Comment

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