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How much should be asked for..?

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    How much should be asked for..?

    I am not sure in which forum I can ask this question. Anyway...I was wondering how much can a woman ask as their mahar in the time of marriage? Can someone give me some rough estimate, preferably in USD or CAD. Say for example the lady is from normal family background and educated. Everyone (regardless of their sect) is welcome to provide some input. Speaking from personal experience, from family or relative marriage, friends...All input are welcome. Thanx

    Realistically, the meher is supposed to be of a value that is proportional to the financial status of the husband. Yes, there is a set minimum amount, but that Rs 31.50 clause has been grossly misused in Pakistan, where people practically get away with murder by signifying that amount, or some other menial amount like Rs 50, Rs 500 etc, as meher. To them, its just a symbolic gesture, whereas its not.

    Another misconception is that the amount is payable only after divorce. Whereas the meher is payable immediately after the nikah.

    Noone looks forward to having a divorce, but its a fact of life. It can happen to anyone and everyone. And it is because of this unforeseen nature of a divorce that the concept of meher has been included in the islamic marriage. And if the amount demarked is a minimal and symbolic one, rather than one that will actually take care of the divorced wife for a generous amount of time, then its just as well as not having a meher in the first place.

    Bottom line, the meher has to be a handsome amount...proportional to the financial status of the husband....and something that will fulfill the woman's financial needs, should she have to live on her own....and even more so if she has kids.

    So for anyone to give you a certain amount wont be fair. Its everyones personal responsibility to decide upon a logical amount.



      I don't think that Mehr has anything to do with the upkeep of a woman in case of divorce. In fact, Mehr, on the contrary, is a token that signifies the acceptance of the financial responsibility of the family that shall come into being through the contract of marriage. Mehr, should ideally be paid at the time of marriage. However, if the person isn't able to do so, the payment may be deferred with mutual consent. The amount of Mehr is also decided by the mutual consent of the husband and the wife. There is no minimum or maximum limit set on the amount. In response to babydoll's query, I fully agree with you in that the two major factors that may be considered in determining the amount of the Mehr may be the financial position of the man and the general amount of Mehr of other women of the same socio-economic status. Nevertheless, whatever the amount, the concept of Mehr is not of providing financial security to the woman in case of divorce or the death of the husband.

      The directive regarding Mehr is independent of any law regarding the distribution of a personís wealth, in case of divorce. But that, however, is not to say that I am not completely and utterly wrong.

      They shoot partypoopers, don't they?

      [This message has been edited by Mr Partypooper (edited June 23, 2001).]


        Meher doesnt relate to seperation of a husband and wife via death....only through divorce. A wife's share in her husband's wealth is clearly defined in case of his death. Whereas that 1/8th does not kick in in case of a divorce. In the event of a divorce, its only the meher that the wife is entitled to. And well, if the stipulation doesnt entitle the woman to be able to live off the meher amount in case of a divorce, then it becomes an insignificant factor, doesnt it?

        In fact, Mehr, on the contrary, is a token that signifies the acceptance of the financial responsibility of the family that shall come into being through the contract of marriage.

        Isnt the acceptance of the wife's financial responsibility one of the most obvious results of a marriage? Nikah is what signifies acceptance of that responsibility. If indeed meher signifies that, then its a useless token.

        The wife maintains exclusive rights not only to the dowry that she brings into a marriage, but also to the meher that she is entitled to. That is obviously because in the event of a divorce, a woman loses not only her companion, but also her provider, (unless she's a working woman herself, which isnt the case with all).


          In my 2 cents, MEHER is an amount of which two variables are 1. income/assets of Husband-to-be, 2. financial status of woman's family. Woman(/family of) has right to demand a higher MEHER if they think that husband-to-be can pay it... it is a negotiable entity.
          Rs31.50 is grossly misused as indicated by Mr Akif.
          There are two types of MEHER, one is to be payed right at the time of NIKAH, while the other is to be payed whenever WIFE demands for it. (meher mo-jal-paid on divorce terminal of relationship or delayed, meher mo-ajjalaid in hurry i.e. at time of nikah).

          We oughta be Changez like, don't we?