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    daughter marrying without guardian

    can she? what if the guardian never acted like her guardian her entire life & was not even bothered to look for a suitable match for her even daughter told all the mehrams to marry her with someone suitable? Some say that it will be a haram if the daughter marries without guardian, her guardian should be present or something like that. If fathre neverr acted like father then wont make him lose all his guardianship to begin with? You have to act like a guardian to be one. If such nikah is not valid then what a daughter can do? never get married like ever cuz her mehram are bunch of begairats? ya phir bhaar me ja ke mar jaye

    #2
    For any adult girl, do we even have a condition to get married only in front of guardian/parent? I dont think so. Never heard of it. IMHO as long as you are adult and you have adult/sane witnesses you can get married even without the approval of your guardian. The nikah will be very much valid.
    Attitude is more important than facts.
    "Life is 10% what happens to us..and 90% of how we react to it"

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      #3
      I have heard the same, nikaah without guardian is not valid. You need to consult someone who has proper knowledge of the book, i mean ulmaa etc and i dont think there is any alim on gupshup.
      In my opinion if the guardian is not doing his job deliberately or without any VALID reason, it does open up a narrow window for the adult to do the nikkah according to the rules of ISLAM minus the presence of guardian. But that's my personal opinion, only a subject expert or an Alim can guide you on this after knowing your situation.
      psyah has a solid grasp on religious issues, but have not seen him for a long time.
      Last edited by Pakistani Prince; 2 weeks ago.

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        #4
        Was permission asked and it was denied? What were the reasons for denial?

        As far as I know permission of woman's father is a must with very few exceptions.

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          #5
          For any adult person, male or female, no permission should be needed. The concept of 'wali' should considered as an optional representative instead of a mandatory guardian.

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            #6
            Originally posted by krash View Post
            For any adult person, male or female, no permission should be needed.
            In the US a person who wishes to marry must obtain license to marry first. That is to seek permission from the state. Most Islamic centers in US won't perform nikah without that permission. I think you wouldn't have any objection to that law.

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              #7
              Originally posted by decentGuy View Post

              In the US a person who wishes to marry must obtain license to marry first. That is to seek permission from the state. Most Islamic centers in US won't perform nikah without that permission. I think you wouldn't have any objection to that law.
              I absolutely oppose this law.

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                #8
                Originally posted by krash View Post

                I absolutely oppose this law.
                But would you follow that law?

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by decentGuy View Post

                  But would you follow that law?
                  In following state law, I have no choice. The state can coerce me.


                  Similarly, if I were living in a country where requiring an adult female's guardian's consent was state law I would have no choice but to follow the law even though I oppose it.

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by krash View Post

                    In following state law, I have no choice. The state can coerce me.


                    Similarly, if I were living in a country where requiring an adult female's guardian's consent was state law I would have no choice but to follow the law even though I oppose it.
                    Thank you for being honest.

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                      #11
                      I think guardian does not always have to be a father , can be any older person who can be a representative , relative etc


                      especially if one parent is a drugiee, drinker, schizophrenic or any mentally/emotinally unstable person or have passed away

                      all depends on the situation

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                        #12
                        I did some more research into this matter and realized there is a division among the 4 Fuqaha (Hanafi(ra), Maliki(ra), Shafi'i(ra) and Hanbali(ra)). A person must follow the fiqh they’ve been following and not engage in fatwa shopping. Having said that, I learned that according to a fatwa of Abu Hanifa(ra), nikah without the approval of a woman’s father will be valid if the nikah is otherwise legal and the man is her equivalent (Kuf).

                        Moreover, according to scholars of Hanafi school, however, it is not something one should aim for and it is best to get approval of father as that will satisfy the requirements of all 4 Fuqha.

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by batameez View Post
                          especially if one parent is a drugiee, drinker, schizophrenic or any mentally/emotinally unstable person or have passed away
                          all depends on the situation
                          There may be a cure for a druggiee, drinker or any of those other things. But there is no cure for stupid. I've heard of some cases where the girl wanted to marry, her family had no problem with the boy either but her family wanted her to finish her education first. The family itself was basically pushing them to do wrong. Unmarried couples cannot hold back for long, especially when they are young. Unfortunately some families set so many pre-conditions to marriage that their children become mental patients. If you watch some Pakistani commercials, you'll realize there is a well thought out campaign to delay marriage of adult girls in the name of education.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by decentGuy View Post

                            There may be a cure for a druggiee, drinker or any of those other things. But there is no cure for stupid. I've heard of some cases where the girl wanted to marry, her family had no problem with the boy either but her family wanted her to finish her education first. The family itself was basically pushing them to do wrong. Unmarried couples cannot hold back for long, especially when they are young. Unfortunately some families set so many pre-conditions to marriage that their children become mental patients. If you watch some Pakistani commercials, you'll realize there is a well thought out campaign to delay marriage of adult girls in the name of education.
                            This would be a separate topic - what is the appropriate age for marriage.

                            I think it is pretty reasonable to expect both men and women to have completed their education and started their career before considering marriage.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by krash View Post

                              This would be a separate topic - what is the appropriate age for marriage.

                              I think it is pretty reasonable to expect both men and women to have completed their education and started their career before considering marriage.
                              I used to think that way but now disagree with that approach, but that is just my opinion. There is a limited window when people can actually enjoy married life and bond, later on it is more like a chore. We've encouraged dating as soon as we enter college, but not marriage. I'm not suggesting marrying while in college would work for everyone, but it is less a matter of logistics in most cases and more of mindset. Education and career can continue on after marriage and children as well.

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