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    Daily NOOSE from Pakistan !!

    Estrada wants exile too
    According to Nawa-e-Waqt, the corrupt ex-president of the Philippines, Estrada, has also asked the new government there to exile him like the ex-prime minister of Pakistan, Mian Nawaz Sharif. Estrada was removed from power after his corruption could no longer be tolerated by the people.


    Hindus progeny of Noah's grandson
    According to an Ausaf column written by famous journalist Hamid Mir, the Hindus of India were the progeny of Prophet Noah's grandson called Hind. The earthquake in India was in fact God's wrath against a nation gone astray. The seed of Hind were once not given to worshipping statues but gradually left the faith of Allah. More afflictions were in store for them.

    Hindu Jinns rampant in Kamonke
    According to daily Pakistan, a mysterious fire which refused to be controlled was cropping up in different places in the locality of Kamonke near Lahore, especially threatening women and children. As soon as the fire was doused it sprang up again in a different place. Many aamils (exorcists) were unsuccessful in controlling the jinns, after which people began to give baang (prayer call) to save themselves. The newspaper later reported that one brave aamil had finally succeeded in driving out the jinns from Kamonke. The total number of the jinns was 14. They were all Hindu jinns, according to the reporter who counted the uncircumcised poltergeists.


    Mushahid lied about Kargil!
    Quoted in Khabrain, a number of leaders of political parties have asked ex-PML minister Mushahid Hussain to apologise to the nation for lying on the issue of Kargil when he was information minister. This lie was revealed when he joined Nawaz Sharif in trying to remove the army chief.

    Saudi cleric's fatwa in favour of Taliban
    Quoted in Ausaf, Mufti Hamid bin Uqla issued a fatwa in Saudi Arabia saying that the Taliban government in Afghanistan was truly Islamic under the caliphate of Mulla Umar and therefore all Muslim governments of the world were duty-bound to support it and cooperate with it.

    Government wants Shia-Sunni war
    According to an Ausaf column, if Sunni leader Maulana Azam Tariq and Shia leader Sajid Naqvi ever sat down together they would arrive at a consensus against the World Bank and IMF, which the ministers of the Musharraf didn't want because they wanted to carry out the diktat of the two world organisations. Therefore it is in their interest to keep the Shia-Sunni conflict pot boiling.

    Jinns capture tube-well
    According to Nawa-e-Waqt, a jinn has captured a tube-well in Narang Mandi, causing great discomfort to the owner Bodi Pehlwan who fell down to the ground in a fit every time he approached the tube-well. A nearby chakki (mill) was captured by the said wicked jinn and the same dandal (fit) was repeated there. Bodi Pehlwan said that various aamils (exorcists) were tried but the jinn was too powerful.

    Nur Jahan did 'tona' on Yahya Khan!
    According to Khabrain, Nur Jahan's ex-husband Shaukat Rizvi said that she had done tona (spell) on General Yahya Khan by cooking the meat of owl and therefore the president was totally in her control. He said that once when he was visiting the general he refused to switch off the TV because 'Nur Jahan is about to sing'. He further said that Nur Jahan had love affairs with cricketer Nazar Muhammad, Ajay Kumar and Nazeer Ali; she had filmstar Yusuf Khan divorce his wife. Her three brothers were clinically mad.

    Nur Jahan bought me shirts!
    Quoted in daily Din, famous Pakistani singer Parvez Mehdi said that once when Nur Jahan saw that his shirt was torn she bought four new shirts for him. One shirt was actually sewn for him by her. He said she had adopted him as her son. Had he known about her greatness he would have framed the shirt she sewed for him.

    Pir Pinjar speaks
    According to Khabrain, famous soothsayer Pir Pinjar predicted that Friday will soon be restored as holiday by General Musharraf, that Imran Khan had been 'selected' for the 'next innings', and that Dr Qadeer Khan will spring another surprise on the nation.

    Zalzala Khan is born!
    According to Nawa-e-Waqt, a pathan in Chichawatni had named his new born son Zalzala (earthquake) Khan after the earthquake in Hyderabad. Gulpazir Khan thought about it a week then decided that he liked the sound of the word zalzala and chose it for his son.

    General Yahya chased an officer's wife
    Quoted in Khabrain, a JUP leader General (Retd) K.M. Azhar said that he had once reported to the army chief that General Yahya was involved in chasing a fellow officer's wife and should be punished for it, but no action had been taken. General Yahya was made army chief despite his drinking and womanising reputation.

    Indian Earthquake because of Pokhran
    In a daily Jang column, famous columnist Javed Chaudhry wrote that the Gujerat earthquake in India was caused by the 1998 nuclear test at Pokhran by India. He wrote that experts had testified that underground movement of earth becomes accelerated by underground nuclear tests. The column did not say whether Balochistan will suffer a similar earthquake because of the Chaghai test.

    Foreign accounts of Taliban leaders
    According to daily Din, many foreign accounts kept by the Taliban leaders had been frozen as per sanctions levied by the UN Security Council. They included the account of governor of the Qunduz province killed in Peshawar last year, Arif Khan. In all 54 ministers and ambassadors had foreign accounts.


    #2
    Nice choice of newspapers what else do you read Sun from Uk and national Enquirer from US.

    Heck you want real news ..try Evening Special from Pakistan..now thats REAL news baby.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Fraudz:

      Heck you want real news ..try Evening Special from Pakistan..now thats REAL news baby.
      Do they have an online edition. The URL please ?

      Comment


        #4
        Russia shows interest in India’s LCA project
        HT Correspondent
        (New Delhi, February 27)

        DEFENCE MINISTER George Fernandes today said that two major Russian military aviation companies have shown a keen interest in India's Light Combat Aircraft (LCA) project and have offered to collaborate for jointly developing the fighter.


        Why? Russians have nothing better to do?
        LCA -- kind of aircraft Russia use to fly
        in early 50's.
        -----------------------------

        There is no ceasefire in J&K, says Advani
        HT Correspondent
        (New Delhi, February 27)

        HOME MINISTER L K Advani today sprang a surprise in the Lok Sabha by stating that there was no ceasefire on in Kashmir, but only non-initiation of combat operations against terrorists. We did not use the word ceasefire because such a term implies reaching an understanding with the other side”, he said during Question Hour in reply to a question raised by Mr Sunderlal Tiwari and Mr Satyavrat Chaturvedi of the Congress.


        What? One day they call it Cease Fire, and
        the next day it becomes something else.
        ---------------

        Truce or not, infiltration continues
        Arun Joshi
        (Jammu, February 27)


        MORE THAN 1,200 infiltrators have crossed over to Jammu and Kashmir in the recent months - a majority of them in the past 12 weeks of unilateral ceasefire - intelligence reports say.
        .
        .
        .
        More worrying scenario is the kind of weaponry that has come along with the militants. This time the militants are equipped with high-velocity telescopic sniper rifles, light and medium machine guns and armour piercing incendiary ammunition. The explosives include RDX and PETN-based triggering devices, including trip-switches, remote control mechanisms, light differential relay switches, high frequency-based triggering devices, time pencils and electronic timers.


        So this RAW know where, how many and what
        freedom fighters are carrying and getting to
        Occupied Kashmir, but the crippled army can't
        stop them.. Also, this same intelligence
        agency was not able to tell if somebody is
        capturing their territory, but can tell if a
        few people are crossing the LOC.
        -----------------------------

        There are only two forces in the world, the sword and the spirit. In the end the sword will always be conquered by the spirit. --Napoleon Bonaparte

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by PureLand:
          Russia shows interest in India’s LCA project
          HT Correspondent
          (New Delhi, February 27)

          DEFENCE MINISTER George Fernandes today said that two major Russian military aviation companies have shown a keen interest in India's Light Combat Aircraft (LCA) project and have offered to collaborate for jointly developing the fighter.


          Why? Russians have nothing better to do?
          LCA -- kind of aircraft Russia use to fly
          in early 50's.

          Explain the connection between Hindu Jinns and Ceasefire and tell me why you posted this here.

          Comment


            #6
            HOME MINISTER L K Advani today sprang a surprise in the Lok Sabha by stating that there was no ceasefire on in Kashmir, but only non-initiation of combat operations against terrorists. We did not use the word ceasefire because such a term implies reaching an understanding with the other side”, he said during Question Hour in reply to a question raised by Mr Sunderlal Tiwari and Mr Satyavrat Chaturvedi of the Congress.

            Proper 8th grade schooling (with civics) is enuf to understand what he says and why he says that. May be concepts of democracy, parliament and question hour are so alien to some people here that they don't understand what it is.

            I pity them!

            [This message has been edited by kumarakn (edited February 27, 2001).]

            Comment


              #7
              chilli, where did u get thses clips from, friday times they usually have a section on stupid news like these.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Topee Wala:
                chilli, where did u get thses clips from, friday times they usually have a section on stupid news like these.

                officially?!!!?
                heheheheheh !

                Comment


                  #9
                  kumarakn wrote

                  Proper 8th grade schooling (with civics) is enuf to understand what he says and why he says that. May be concepts of democracy, parliament and question hour are so alien to some people here that they don't understand what it is.

                  I pity them!

                  even an indian educated would comprehend correctly that
                  I made comments on wordings and not on the
                  meaning ... It was an official indian Govt.
                  statement that ceasefire has been extended
                  yet again...
                  And please don't preach me about indian
                  kind of democracy. I see what and how that
                  is. I know many indians who belong to real
                  india and unlike many here do not belong to
                  some dreamland kind of indomata.
                  There are only two forces in the world, the sword and the spirit. In the end the sword will always be conquered by the spirit. --Napoleon Bonaparte

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Chilli

                    I dont think evening special has a website
                    but do try to get your hands on a copy if you can.

                    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.

                    Comment

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