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    For Engineers & Planners


    > ---- It is the year 2002 and Noah lives in the United States.
    > The Lord speaks to Noah and says: "In one year I am going to make it
    >and cover the whole earth with water until all is destroyed. But I want
    > save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the
    >earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark."
    > In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark.
    > Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark.
    > "Remember," said the Lord, "you must complete the Ark and bring
    >everything aboard in one year."
    > Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth and all
    >the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting in his
    >front yard
    > weeping.
    > "Noah." He shouted, "Where is the Ark?"
    > "Lord please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best but there were big
    >problems. First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did
    >not comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw
    >the plans.
    > Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a
    >fire sprinkler system and floatation devices.
    > Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances
    >building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the
    >planning commmission.
    > I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban
    >on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S.
    >Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls.
    > However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. So,
    >no owls.
    > The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to
    >a sett
    > lement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the
    >Ark, but still no owls. When I started rounding up the other animals, I
    >got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two
    >each kind aboard.
    > Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could
    >complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your
    > flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no
    >jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe.
    > Then the Army Corps of Engineer demanded a map of the proposed new
    >plain. I sent them a globe.
    > Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal
    >Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination
    >not taking
    > godless, unbelieving people aboard!
    > The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in
    >preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes.
    > I just got a notice from the State that I owe some kind of user tax and
    >failed to register the Ark as a recreational water craft."
    > Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further
    >construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it
    >a religious event and therefore unconstitutional.
    > I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years!"
    > The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to
    >calm. A rainbow arched across the sky.
    > Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you are not going to destroy the
    >earth, Lord?"
    > "No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already
    > has."
    > AMEN

    Nice one.

    But is this the appropriate forum for that?

    Umer, the Pakistani Brain of Austria
    The Pakistani Brain of the Austria (formerly known as "The Pakistani Brain of UAE")


      moved to the jokes section