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    For Engineers & Planners

    hmmmm..

    > ---- It is the year 2002 and Noah lives in the United States.
    >
    > The Lord speaks to Noah and says: "In one year I am going to make it
    >rain
    >and cover the whole earth with water until all is destroyed. But I want
    >you
    >to
    > save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the
    >earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark."
    >
    > In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark.
    > Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark.
    >
    > "Remember," said the Lord, "you must complete the Ark and bring
    >everything aboard in one year."
    >
    > Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth and all
    >the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting in his
    >front yard
    > weeping.
    >
    > "Noah." He shouted, "Where is the Ark?"
    >
    > "Lord please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best but there were big
    >problems. First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did
    >not comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw
    >the plans.
    >
    > Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a
    >fire sprinkler system and floatation devices.
    >
    > Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances
    >by
    >building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the
    >city
    >planning commmission.
    > I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban
    >on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S.
    >Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls.
    >
    > However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. So,
    >no owls.
    > The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to
    >negotiate
    >a sett
    > lement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the
    >Ark, but still no owls. When I started rounding up the other animals, I
    >got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two
    >of
    >each kind aboard.
    >
    > Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could
    >not
    >complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your
    >proposed
    > flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no
    >jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe.
    >
    > Then the Army Corps of Engineer demanded a map of the proposed new
    >flood
    >plain. I sent them a globe.
    >
    > Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal
    >Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination
    >by
    >not taking
    > godless, unbelieving people aboard!
    >
    > The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in
    >preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes.
    >
    > I just got a notice from the State that I owe some kind of user tax and
    >failed to register the Ark as a recreational water craft."
    >
    > Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further
    >construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it
    >is
    >a religious event and therefore unconstitutional.
    >
    > I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years!"
    >Noah
    >wailed.
    >
    > The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to
    >calm. A rainbow arched across the sky.
    >
    > Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you are not going to destroy the
    >earth, Lord?"
    >
    > "No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already
    > has."
    >
    > AMEN
    >

    #2
    Nice one. http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

    But is this the appropriate forum for that?

    ------------------
    Umer, the Pakistani Brain of Austria
    The Pakistani Brain of the Austria (formerly known as "The Pakistani Brain of UAE")

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      #3
      moved to the jokes section

      Comment

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