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[geek humor] LoTR Story for the 1337!

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    [geek humor] LoTR Story for the 1337!

    I found this hilarious!!

    L0rd of teh Ringz0r


    F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng

    [At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]
    Merry: "Omg, I pwn"
    Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"
    **Rocket goes off
    Gandalf: "Pwned!"

    Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos"
    Bilbo has left the server
    Frodo: "Wtf!?"

    [later, in Bag End]
    Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"
    Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!"
    Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!"
    Bilbo: "ok"
    Gandalf has logged on as admin
    Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire

    **Later
    Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!"
    **Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back
    Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!"
    Frodo: "Wtf?"
    Gandalf has logged on as admin
    Frodo has been kicked from The Shire
    Sam has been kicked from The Shire

    [At Isengard]
    Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
    Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!"
    Gandalf: "WTF?!"
    Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!"
    Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet"
    **Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf
    Saruman: "Pwned!"

    [on the road to Bree]
    Merry: "look foos, shrooms!"
    Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!"
    Frodo: "Ph34r!"
    Sam: "Shrooms!"
    Frodo: "PH34R!1!1"
    **black rider stops, sniffs, goes past
    Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"

    [Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]
    **Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips
    Frodo has left the server
    Frodo has connected to the server
    Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd"
    Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"

    [at Weathertop]
    Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!"
    **MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!
    Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"

    **the black riders attack
    Merry: "OMG!!!"
    Sam: "O.M.G!!!11"
    Pippin: "wtf"
    Frodo has left the server
    **head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost
    Frodo has connected to the server
    Frodo: "wtf... hax!"
    **Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand
    Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!"
    Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "

    [on the road to Rivendell]
    Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!"
    **Arwen rides up
    Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"
    Arwen: "Sif! Wtf is up with Frodo?"
    Sam: "Teh leet Hax0r "
    Arwen: "Firewall?"

    **Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.
    Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"
    **nazgul start to cross
    Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"
    **the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
    Warning: Connection Problems Detected
    nazgul has disconnected
    nazgul has disconnected
    nazgul has disconnected
    nazgul has disconnected
    nazgul has disconnected
    nazgul has disconnected
    nazgul has disconnected
    Arwen: "Pwnt"


    [at the Council of Elrond]
    Gimli: "dwarves pwn!"
    Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!"
    Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!"
    Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!"
    **Frodo puts the ring on the plinth
    Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!"
    **Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters
    Elrond: "**sigh, noob"

    [Frodo meets up with Bilbo]
    Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!"
    Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!"
    Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?"
    **Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring
    Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!"
    Frodo: "sif!"
    Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril"

    [The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]
    **Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains
    Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!"
    Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS"
    **There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf
    Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1"
    Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?"
    Gimli votes to change map to Moria
    Votes 4 of 4 required
    Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"

    [The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]
    Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?"
    **The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!
    Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!"
    Boromir: "GL HF"
    Aragorn [broadsword] guardian
    Legolas [arrow] guardian
    Gandalf: "gg"

    [The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]
    Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!"


    **After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well
    Gandalf: "Teh bookz0r has some clues!"

    **Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well
    Gandalf: "OMG! noob!"
    Merry: "d'oh"

    **The fellowship hears the ork drums
    Boromir: "wtf?"
    Aragorn: "wtf?"
    Frodo: "..."
    Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<"

    **the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come
    Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!"
    Aragorn [broadsword] ork
    Gimli [axe] ork
    Legolas [arrow] ork
    Aragorn [broadsword] ork
    Aragorn [broadsword] ork
    Boromir [broadsword] ork
    Gimli [axe] ork
    Gimli [axe] ork
    ork: "OMG! h4x!"
    Gimli: "pwned"!
    Legolas [arrow] ork
    Legolas [arrow] ork
    Legolas: "lol!!"
    Boromir [broadsword] ork
    Gimli [axe] ork
    Gimli: "Foos!"
    Legolas [arrow] ork
    ork: "ffs, wallhax!"

    **The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors
    Gandalf: "Oh ffs!"
    Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!"
    Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!"

    **Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo
    Sam: "OMG!"
    Gandalf: "OMG!"
    Aragorn: "omg, pwn!"

    **Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head
    Legolas [arrow] cavetroll
    Ork: "OMG! PWNED!"
    Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs"

    **The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks
    Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!"

    **A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw
    Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!"
    Gandalf: "OMG!"

    **The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows.
    Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"
    Legolas [arrow] ork
    Legolas [arrow] ork
    ork: "AIMBOT!"
    ork: "turn it off!"
    Legolas: "lolol!"

    **The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog
    Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!"
    Balrog: "wtf?"
    Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!"
    Balrog: "Sif, noob"

    **Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight
    Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"
    Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"

    **The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf
    Gandalf: "D'oh"
    Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"
    Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"

    **Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass
    Gandalf has left the server
    Balrog has disconnected

    [After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien]

    **The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel
    Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!"
    Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?"
    Galadriel: "WTFWTF! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"

    [The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river]
    Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!"
    uruk hai: "leet!"

    [stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]

    **Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him
    Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ur hax can fight teh boss!"
    Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"
    Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"
    Frodo: "STFU noob"
    Frodo has left the server
    Boromir: "WTF! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!"

    **A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir
    Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!"
    Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
    Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
    Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
    Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
    Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
    Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
    Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
    Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
    Boromir: "****ing campers"

    **Aragorn comes across the battle
    Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! Wtf!"
    Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!"
    Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai
    Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!"
    **Aragorn goes to Boromir
    Boromir: "Damn lag!"
    Warning: Connection problems detected


    Boromir has disconnected
    Aragorn: "FFS!"

    [Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him]
    Sam: "Frodo! WTF! Invisibility h4x!"
    Frodo has connected to the server
    Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!"
    Sam: "Sif!"
    Frodo: "Oh, ffs noob!"

    End.


    source
    I am only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

    #2
    Re: [geek humor] LoTR Story for the 1337!

    Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"
    Legolas [arrow] ork
    Legolas [arrow] ork
    ork: "AIMBOT!"
    ork: "turn it off!"
    Legolas: "lolol!"

    "If I'm not back in five minutes, keep waiting." - Freakazoid

    Comment


      #3
      Re: [geek humor] LoTR Story for the 1337!

      "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"

      ohhhh lord! cant giggle ANY MORE!
      thanks for pulling head outta your ass long enough to read my post, then highlighting & reading this. Signed:
      -faizy

      Comment


        #4
        Re: [geek humor] LoTR Story for the 1337!

        heheh

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