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    "You look tired/sick."

    Does anyone else get annoyed with the coments "You look tired/sick/sad/upset"......especially when you're not feeling tired/sick/sad/ upset and have your makeup on and feel fairly good/confident about the way you look. I consider it rude.

    I've seen mostly adults or just older people in general make such comments. But today...I come into class (5th grade)....and this girl exclaims.........(yes, exclaims).......with a huge grin on her face (yes, a huge grin)..."You look tired!" I replied back with, "So do you." (Yup...I said that to a student. Bad, bad, RV). I complimented one of the boys in that class.....told him that I liked his glasses and that he looked handsome in them. Same 'lil girl blurts out "I think they look geeky." Mind you....she herself wears glasses too, lol. And the ironic thing is that a few weeks ago she didn't want to wear glasses for fear that she'd look like a nerd. So, I give the girl a lecture....and she got upset. Found out that.....LATER on today......she had told another teacher, "You look sick." That teacher did not look sick....and is always very well put-together and dresses stylishly, etc. I find it odd that this girl just didn't learn from her mistake....when I had her first period....and repeated it again. She's not known to be te brightest...but still it's odd for a 10-year-old girl to be behaving like that. Don't know if she's just that clueless or if there's deliberation. If it's the latter....she sure is getting a head start.

    But still....back to the point....how many of you get annoyed with such questions/comments especially when you don't feel tired/sad/sick, etc. While I understand that some people say these things in a sympathetic way...and with sincere concern......I think others might say it to bring you down. When you get the feeling that it's the latter.........how do you respond?

    *** Mods....please let this thread stay in the Fashion forum please as I believe it's relevant. Don't move it to Life and Relationship or All Views. Thank you.
    Last edited by redvelvet; Nov 17, 2011, 02:52 PM.

    #2
    Re: "You look tired/sick."

    I get touched. Because I know how tired I am, usually. So I just take it as a thoughtful comment. :sigh:
    Let the Sea be my mother, and the Moon my father;
    I will swim with the mermaids forever thereafter....

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      #3
      Re: "You look tired/sick."

      I 'd enjoy it even more if im not tired and it is said only to bring me down. Because, then it will be solely their problem, not mine.
      Let the Sea be my mother, and the Moon my father;
      I will swim with the mermaids forever thereafter....

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        #4
        Re: "You look tired/sick."

        The thing is.....at the end of the day.....I know that most teachers look exhausted. I don't feel the need to point it out to them. If someone gains weight...I don't point it out. If someone's losing hair...I don't point it out. I figure that everyone has a mirror in their home and is aware of what they look like. It's especially irksome when you're feeling anything but what the comment says.

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          #5
          Re: "You look tired/sick."

          Yes i get annoyed. It has happened few times actually. At one time, i went to a friends place for a get together and another friend of mine was like "Are you ok? You look down, is everything ok with your hubby?"(and why is this any of your business )
          Yes it annoys me specially when i am not sad or depressed urrrrghhhh!
          They Didn’t Know It Was Impossible, So They Did It!

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            #6
            Re: "You look tired/sick."

            aik thappar lagao ussay.
            “I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot. ”

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              #7
              Re: "You look tired/sick."

              RV sounds like the girl was just saying it for the sake of saying it...some kids pick it up from their parents as a way to put people down maybe?

              But I've noticed some aunties etc do say it as a way to have a dig at you like 'my gracious you look tired, what could you possibly be doing to not look as radiant as my daughter'
              or maybe that's just the way i hear it
              It's all fun and smiles until you get bitten by a shark.

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                #8
                Re: "You look tired/sick."

                i'm usually the first the one to say i'm tired, but yeah i think it's rude to say that to someone else, even if it's to a friend. in that case, i'd reply "did you wash your hair ?"

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                  #9
                  Re: "You look tired/sick."

                  This happened once at a party to me. I know I didn't look tired because I made a real effort that day. I wasn't tired did my hair, makeup, etc. I know I looked nice but someone else didn't. So she says...oh reha, you look so tired today.

                  I was so surprised I didn't even say anything.
                  Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. ~ Rumi

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                    #10
                    Re: "You look tired/sick."

                    It wasn't the exact words 'you look tired' but i know that's what she meant

                    My masi who lives in a diff city to us 'visited' my mum's one day without informing us
                    so when i saw my masi and thaiya's car ( yes my masi is married to my thaiya ) i thought i go over and
                    say salam to which she goes 'ay keh aalat banay aah?' and ' val kapray laya kar ' ..
                    i was dressed pretty decent like you would on a normal day at home, its not as if i went round looking like a jaangali

                    uh...hello.. you popped round without a call and i was at home cleaning up

                    what did she want me to do wear? tillay walay kapray with full wack makeup?
                    Dream as you'll live forever...live as you will die today....

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                      #11
                      Re: "You look tired/sick."

                      I said it to my coworker once. She DID look tired so I said it out of concern. She explained that something happened the night before so she went to bed late...

                      Afterwards she told me SEVERAL TIMES that I looked tired. Then I knew how much it bothered her and that she was taking revenge.

                      I learned my lesson anyway... if you are really concerned just ask "How are you feeling today." That is much more polite.

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                        #12
                        Re: "You look tired/sick."

                        I don't recall a time I've ever initiated a comment like that with the intention to be snide. If I think someone looks nice....even if it's someone whom I not too crazy about but am on speaking terms with...I'll compliment them. If I don't like someone....even then...I don't instigate with such comments. I might imagine ALL the possible snide remarks I could make to some idiot person....but I rarely act on it. If I'm on the receiving end of them.............most of the time I stay quiet and then once in a while I'll snap a retort. With this girl/student........it wasn't her first time.....she had made similar mistakes several times. I try to be careful....even if see someone with a huge boil on their face or some injury or very obvious flaw that wasn't there before...I don't mention it as it's awkward.

                        Reflecting even over my family...I've never seen my mom instigating with such comments....even toward people she dislikes. I find it interesting that some people have greater self-control....or they just don't really have that bone in their body.....whereas others do. I wonder why that is.

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                          #13
                          Re: "You look tired/sick."

                          Originally posted by Mad Hatter View Post
                          RV sounds like the girl was just saying it for the sake of saying it...some kids pick it up from their parents as a way to put people down maybe?

                          But I've noticed some aunties etc do say it as a way to have a dig at you like 'my gracious you look tired, what could you possibly be doing to not look as radiant as my daughter'
                          or maybe that's just the way i hear it
                          MH, that's what I've been wondering today. I haven't had the most positive experiences with the girl's mom.....who can be an instigator of drama...and there have been stories of mom making snide remarks in public places which had led to a brawl/scene being made. So, I wonder if maybe the girl picked it up from her mom. However, at the same, time the kid struggles with comprehension/academics....and then I wonder if it's something to do with that. But if she's going to repeat the SAME mistake with another teacher right after I scolded her...(and she was very upset by that).....that makes me question her intnetion. You'd think the kid would learn. I just think it's sad that she's behaivng in this chalako-maasi type way when she's so young.

                          A couple of weeks ago, we were working on a friendly-letter writing assignment. I had the kids pick a teacher to write to and told them to keep the content positive, friendly...focus on what you like about their class, what you appreicate them for, etc. Now the kids in this class are around 10-11 years old; it's 5th grade)....and all the kids wrote typical kid stuff....such as how they love that a certain teacher plays games, is patient, gives little homework, has an easy class, is funny, does fun activities, etc. Even the students in the upper grades that I teach....wrote similar stuff.

                          Now THIS 'lil girl.....wrote her letter to the SAME teacher that she told looked "sick" today. Anyhow, this teacher had been depressed for a while because she's been trying to conceive....she doesn't discuss these private concerns with her students. So, this particular student wrote in her letter how teacher A had a baby last year......and teacher B is pregnant this year....and how she's hoping that the teacher whom she's addressed the letter to will also have a baby soon as well.

                          ^You can argue that it's a sweet wish...and it doesn't sound like it's said with malicious intentions, but still.....NONE of the other kids from all my classes...even the upper grades did that. Perhaps she overheard her mom voice in a "pitying/sympathetic" way that this bechari teacher has no aulaad. But still......it's none of the kid's business. It's like SHEESH...why don't you act like a little kid and not an aunti.

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                            #14
                            Re: "You look tired/sick."

                            ^ eesh that is scary for a kid to act like that !!!
                            The grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

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                              #15
                              Re: "You look tired/sick."

                              It's the total opposite with me! If I haven't slept for a few days, I haven't eaten all day, i'm sick, my heads pounding my mom or anyone else will not say a word on how tired I look....but if my little sister doesn't take her daily nap my mom says "oh you look so tired, you need to relax and rest" and i'm like UH what about me!? don't I look tired? why don't I ever get sympathy? apparently I never look tired...magic of makeup?

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