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    When guys agree to do you a favor, why do they expect you to dictate everything what they are supposed to do? Won't you do it yourself if you had to tell them everything. So what is the thought process here?

    #2
    Re: Favor

    Depends on the kind of favor.

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      #3
      Re: Favor

      Maybe the person wants to do things perfectly right, so there are no complaints later on. Some people are more thorough about such things. They're willing to carry out all the steps, but before investing that energy they want directions from you. Just venturing a guess.

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        #4
        Re: Favor

        Originally posted by redvelvet View Post
        Maybe the person wants to do things perfectly right, so there are no complaints later on. Some people are more thorough about such things. They're willing to carry out all the steps, but before investing that energy they want directions from you. Just venturing a guess.
        You can be right, but I don't think there is any use of that kind of 'help' if they need a step by step tutorial. It is a lot more efficient to do it yourself most of the times. And this experience has only been with guys. Women tend to take some steps before they would start seeking some input.

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          #5
          Re: Favor

          There will always be exceptions, but it could be due to a general difference between the genders. Men tend to game plan, which is more of a strategic or systematic mindset. Just think of strategic wartime planning, lol. They have a mission in mind and they want it accomplished in the most efficient way possible...and that can mean...having ALL the information from the get-go in order to get there. You can even observe that difference between men and women in the way they shop. You go to the mall and you see a woman deliberating over the myriad of options in front of her, while the guy looks like he wants to shoot himself. Even the smile they offer up looks like it hurt...like the ehsaan wala grin of a martyr, lol. They also tend to be more objective. And objectivity is about facts and details that are observable and attainable. Subjective thinking is more open-ended; there's so much room for a variety of interpretations.

          There is good in both. Do what you feel comfortable with. If it's relying upon yourself or another female, then so be it.
          Last edited by redvelvet; Feb 23, 2018, 03:02 PM.

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            #6
            Re: Favor

            Velvy has explained it well. I do not know about other men but definitely if someone asks me for a favour, i would like to take things in my own hands to perform the duty in the best possible way.

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              #7
              Re: Favor

              They do it bcoz they are so used to of being micromanaged by girls, its more like a conditioned behavior. If they do it on their own, girls cant stop nitpicking, if they ask for directions, girls cant stop whinging.

              Moral of the story: Guys, you can't win :shrug
              I'm Not The Messiah, I'm A Very Naughty Boy

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                #8
                Re: Favor

                Like RV said it's cause we have an endgoal in almost everything. There's no point in doing anything if it doesn't lead to something. Us men lack the ability to be good for goodness sake, we have to be rewarded like the dogs we are.

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                  #9
                  Re: Favor

                  Reward system is ingrained in human psych. Brain centres controlling behaviour and response are evolutionarily wired to seek reward and avoid harm. This is how we have evolved, infact this is how all living thing developed and evolved. This is not just exclusive to men. It’s possible this evolutionary trait is more pronounced in men.
                  I'm Not The Messiah, I'm A Very Naughty Boy

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                    #10
                    Re: Favor

                    since women nag real bad....guy don't want to be nagged again that you didn't do this right..... so its sort of saving one self from the sever headache later.

                    also, guys feel real bad if someone says you didn't do it right.....it hurts ego....so don't want to go there and risk a possible severe escalation.
                    Marr te gaye aaN ........per Chassss aaa gai A

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                      #11
                      Re: Favor

                      I don’t do favors so wouldn’t know.
                      Why isn't the Dividend story among the featured threads?

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                        #12
                        Re: Favor

                        ^That was the point. Don't agree to do a favor if you are not going to be helpful.

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                          #13
                          Re: Favor

                          Originally posted by dewdropcollection View Post
                          ^That was the point. Don't agree to do a favor if you are not going to be helpful.
                          Why you argue with me. I have a very bad temper I say.
                          Why isn't the Dividend story among the featured threads?

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                            #14
                            Re: Favor

                            Originally posted by Southie View Post
                            Why you argue with me. I have a very bad temper I say.

                            Should we all be scared?

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                              #15
                              Re: Favor

                              Originally posted by dewdropcollection View Post
                              When guys agree to do you a favor, why do they expect you to dictate everything what they are supposed to do? Won't you do it yourself if you had to tell them everything. So what is the thought process here?
                              Your question is somewhat vague. Without a concrete example, here is a general answer to a general question— I would guess that they might ask you for details for any of the following reasons:
                              1. Something they might have done for you in the past might have led you to question some of the details that they might have thought were insignificant but may have been a big deal for you.
                              2. There might actually be multiple paths to the goal such that they can’t confidently identify as the one you would want to take.
                              3. There might actually be something involved that they’re not sure how to get done.
                              4. What you’re asking might require some expertise that they don’t possess.

                              Finally, what I’ve observed is that if someone knows what they want, providing these details should be a quick and simple process and wouldn’t incur overhead to the point that it would negate the benefit of delegating it to someone. Of course unless it requires expertise that they lack.
                              Tell your assassin to aim for her head...because she doesn't have a heart.

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