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What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

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    What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

    What if husband asks wife to take a hijab? or what if wife asks husband to have a beard? should they divorce?

    btw, people have to understand that "hijab" or "beard" its self has very little significance if not coupled with they life you are living.
    Goyan keshk aqbat taskeen ast...Awal shor ast aqbat namkeen ast
    Har chanz aasiyat sang zeerey...Ee surat-e-beqrar barbin ast

    #2
    Re: Hijab after Marriage??

    Originally posted by Decent 6Chora View Post
    What if husband asks wife to take a hijab? or what if wife asks husband to have a beard? should they divorce?
    OP is talking about ending rishta talk with a guy. They're not even engaged and there is 0 commitment there from either side. And you're bringing up a scenario w/ marriage where the couple has already made a lifelong commitment to one another.

    How is your scenario related to OP's situation?

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Hijab after Marriage??

      Originally posted by Paheli00 View Post
      OP is talking about ending rishta talk with a guy. They're not even engaged and there is 0 commitment there from either side. And you're bringing up a scenario w/ marriage where the couple has already made a lifelong commitment to one another.

      How is your scenario related to OP's situation?

      In discussion, you ask questions and you ans questions. I am just asking a question highlighting a point that there must be a middle ground for such scenario and should not be a deal breaker for many people and if its is, what should be their reaction if this happens after marriage...

      As for her case, that's done and dusted. She has already done what she wanted to do so we can expand the discussion now
      Goyan keshk aqbat taskeen ast...Awal shor ast aqbat namkeen ast
      Har chanz aasiyat sang zeerey...Ee surat-e-beqrar barbin ast

      Comment


        #4
        re: What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

        Since we're expanding the discussion to couples who are already married....I'm making this into a separate thread since it is a new topic.

        Comment


          #5
          Re: What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

          What's up with this divorce trend? Everything I see in these forums has divorce attached to it. My husband likes this? Divorce. My husband is too close with this his mother? Divorce. Jesus, learn to talk.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

            I agree..ppl tend to bring divorce into everything. To answer the question above, i would these things are talked before hand..and lets say..if this has brought after marriage and spouse is good to you..then compromise.
            "Har Koi Deta Hai Zakham Gin Gin Kay ....
            Mein Kis Kis Zakham Ko Apna Naseeb Samjhoon"
            By Royal Gala

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              #7
              Re: What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

              Try to find a middle ground.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

                Originally posted by Decent 6Chora View Post
                What if husband asks wife to take a hijab? or what if wife asks husband to have a beard? should they divorce?

                btw, people have to understand that "hijab" or "beard" its self has very little significance if not coupled with they life you are living.
                I like beards.

                Okay, fine, I'll be serious.
                Everyone undergoes change. Being married does not guarantee that one will change and grow at the same rate as their partner. How the change is handled matters. I wouldn't suggest divorce, but to play devil's advocate:

                If one spouse embraces a more religious path, and all attempts to bring their partner along fails, what is to be done? If one cannot 'ungrow' can the other be expected to 'pregrow' (grow before their time, it's a real, scientific term, ahem)? If they are unable to live with the ramifications of the change, what then?

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

                  If he becomes more religous that's his business and not my right to interfere.. I wouldn't change just because he has tho..

                  If he asked me to wear hijab for him after marriage I would say 'no' and make it clear that it would be my decision.. IF he pushed and pushed and said 'hijab or divorce' honestly I wouldn't feel comfortable staying married to someone like that.

                  Hijab isn't a petty issue, it's life changing.. I would never allow someone to pressure or force me into it.. What kind of partner acts like that anyway?
                  Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud..

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

                    I think we should 1st understand what are we talking about here.

                    1. Beard…. Grown and kept by our prophet (p.b.u.h) and Sahabbas and was asked for every Muslim to grow it. So if we are asked by our DAD, MOM, brother, sister or wife to grow it and we say NO. whom are we saying no to actually, what are we saying no too. The teachings of the Prophet (p.b.u.h) and sahabbas and on what grounds????
                    2. Hijab… the above goes for this too. We all being Muslims whose life style do we follow and whose life style are we actually to follow??


                    On the other hand I also feel that there should be no forcing. I am not saying no telling / reminding about the above but no forcing some one (you have to do it or ells divorce). That is not right, there is no forcing in Islam. You can only bring the horse to water, drinking it or not is his decision. You have done your part.
                    ......Inaalillahe wa inaa alaihe raajeoun....

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

                      ^There are loads of things which we should be doing as Muslims but for some reason a lot of ppl become obsessed with dress more than anything else.. show a bit of leg and they're practically foaming at the mouth lol

                      Most Pakistani girls already dress quite modestly so what would be the middle ground if hubby said 'I want you to wear hijab'?
                      Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud..

                      Comment


                        #12
                        If I want to grow a beard that's my choice not hers. If she wants to wear a hijab.. that's her choice.
                        We are both adults and both of us have the right to make our individual choices without bringing divorce into it.
                        Its bigger on the inside!!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

                          Originally posted by Deeba1234 View Post
                          ^There are loads of things which we should be doing as Muslims but for some reason a lot of ppl become obsessed with dress more than anything else.. show a bit of leg and they're practically foaming at the mouth lol

                          Most Pakistani girls already dress quite modestly so what would be the middle ground if hubby said 'I want you to wear hijab'?
                          Hi Deeba,

                          I agree with you, but I think it starts from the dress or the beard maybe because that change is easy to start with. I mean wouldn’t it be odd if one is wearing a low neck top and a skirt and going for five times prayer. What message does that send out “We are half Muslims”. Do we have Muslim concept in Islam, just a thought.
                          ......Inaalillahe wa inaa alaihe raajeoun....

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: What if hijab/beard is brought up after marriage?

                            yeh sab pehle se decide honi chaiye. If you decide last minute and after marriage i feel it is betrayal on a deep level. It's like you were deceived into believing something which is not

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