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    Long Term Houseguests and rules.

    When you have long term house guests (2 months or more - including family), how much kitchen privileges do they have?

    Can they make their own tea? Or do you cater to them breakfast, lunch and dinner. Do you let them know where the laundry is or do you run their laundry loads?

    Can they cook in the kitchen or that something you prefer that they not do.
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

    #2
    Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

    I guess I'm not very hospitable, because I sure wouldn't be waiting on a guest (and yes, that includes family) if they were staying for 2 months - the only exception being older grandparent/parents.

    I know some women hate to share their kitchen and are very protective of their kitchen domain, but personally, I would have no problem with guests serving themselves breakfast, lunch and tea. I'd stock the fridge with food they can easily prepare for themselves for those meals and let them feel free to cook for themselves.

    If I were home on a daily basis, I might make lunch or ask the guests to help themselves to leftovers. But yeah, I would not prepare 3 meals plus tea for long term guests. And my expectation would be that if they use the kitchen, they tidy up after themselves.
    You can't buy happiness, but you can buy shoes and that's kinda the same thing...

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      #3
      Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

      ^only problem.....a lot of people tend to mess up your kitchen.....they will use the stuff but not wash it..they make a mess......they will be careless with your machinery......etc etc......
      Insulting and inflammatory signatures are not allowed, but posts are

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        #4
        Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

        I am like you Sehrysh. Me casa su casa.

        My house is like a guest house. I don't recall any period of 3 months when I haven't had overnight guests over. Family has stayed for months and years in fact.

        But my kitchen has taken a beating. My cabinets, my appliances. I am getting my kitchen redone and honestly thinking is it time to change my rules and policies of people using my kitchen.
        A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

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          #5
          Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

          You can't possibly do it all by yourself......especially if you are working.......... when you have to even get up and make tea or do other small stuff......first it will be quite hectic......secondly it will piss you off too...
          Insulting and inflammatory signatures are not allowed, but posts are

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            #6
            Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

            if they live that long with you and they are close relatives...it's only practical to treat them as members of the household and let them help themselves...it's only fair that they help the host around and help themselves.
            Life is NOT measured by the number of breaths we take but the moments that take our breath away!!!
            16 breaths a minute, 23040 a day...NO one knows which one will be their LAST!

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              #7
              Rules?
              Our homes are not hotels, so there are no rules. For most of the parts, any guests or families (with an exception of guys by themselves, they are horrible) that stayed overnight out long term, ended up helping and sharing kitchen and cleaning responsibilities. Ladies amongst the guests are always in the kitchen helping my wife in cooking and cleaning, our helping our kids in eating, or insisting to baby sit and asking me and wife to go out by ourselves.
              People are afraid of what they don't understand

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                #8
                Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

                Originally posted by njgal View Post
                I am like you Sehrysh. Me casa su casa.

                My house is like a guest house. I don't recall any period of 3 months when I haven't had overnight guests over. Family has stayed for months and years in fact.

                But my kitchen has taken a beating. My cabinets, my appliances. I am getting my kitchen redone and honestly thinking is it time to change my rules and policies of people using my kitchen.
                Oh, I would definitely tell them how I would like things maintained. They cannot serve themselves breakfast and then leave a mess for me to clean up - that's not happening.

                Nudge them along - here's an example: after breakfast, tell them you'll wipe down the table and they can load the dishwasher. Show them how to use the laundry facilities - tell them what times are most efficient to use the laundry (we get charged less electricity for evening/weekends). If they want tea, tell them you're not up for it, and they can help themselves and to add the cups to the dishwasher and run it when they're done.

                Be subtle, but get the message across.

                Most guests understand rules of hospitality and that they should pitch in, but for those who don't and are dheet, make sure they know what to expect and can't expect from you - what your priorities are and what you have time for.
                You can't buy happiness, but you can buy shoes and that's kinda the same thing...

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                  #9
                  Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

                  Depends on why they are there for so long in the first place. Is it ur parents or inlaws visiting from pak for 2 months? In that case i might treat them more as guests n do the work cuz they are on vacation. If its ur friends havin to stay cuz their house is under renovation, the expectations are different.

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                    #10
                    Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

                    Originally posted by TLK View Post
                    Rules?
                    Our homes are not hotels, so there are no rules. For most of the parts, any guests or families (with an exception of guys by themselves, they are horrible) that stayed overnight out long term, ended up helping and sharing kitchen and cleaning responsibilities. Ladies amongst the guests are always in the kitchen helping my wife in cooking and cleaning, our helping our kids in eating, or insisting to baby sit and asking me and wife to go out by ourselves.
                    We get all that. They help clean but lets say they clean with a abrasive cleaner on your appliances and then the finish is gone. Or they splish splash while washing dishes and you have water damage over years. I have had guests break my laundry because they over did the loads.

                    Some people's version is not my version of clean.

                    I am thinking that this time around, I just do everything myself.
                    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

                      What's worse is when they have a daal and channa masala session and turn into housegassed
                      Haii waan fraanshaap?

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by njgal:9708102
                        Originally posted by TLK View Post
                        Rules?
                        Our homes are not hotels, so there are no rules. For most of the parts, any guests or families (with an exception of guys by themselves, they are horrible) that stayed overnight out long term, ended up helping and sharing kitchen and cleaning responsibilities. Ladies amongst the guests are always in the kitchen helping my wife in cooking and cleaning, our helping our kids in eating, or insisting to baby sit and asking me and wife to go out by ourselves.
                        We get all that. They help clean but lets say they clean with a abrasive cleaner on your appliances and then the finish is gone. Or they splish splash while washing dishes and you have water damage over years. I have had guests break my laundry because they over did the loads.

                        Some people's version is not my version of clean.

                        I am thinking that this time around, I just do everything myself.
                        In that situation, if you can afford, then hire a maid. Nothing would work better than telling your over helping guests ke aray aap kyun kaam kar rahi hain, aakhir hum maid ko kyun paisay dete hain.
                        People are afraid of what they don't understand

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                          #13
                          Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

                          Y dont u explain how to maimtain the facilities?

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                            #14
                            Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

                            Personally, I would first show them how to do it - like tell them which cleaning products for which surfaces and explain why certain ones are not to be used. Show them how to load dishes and turn on the dishwasher, how many clothes to put in the washer, etc. Walk them through the house.. But, if that's not an option, then yeah to save myself more aggravation - I'd probably do it myself.

                            Another way to get them to pitch is to give them small tasks that can be done under your supervision. Like the aunties/girls - ask them to cut the vegetables for you or to make a meetha for you while you're in the kitchen. It may not save you a ton of extra work, but at least it'll make a bit of difference.
                            You can't buy happiness, but you can buy shoes and that's kinda the same thing...

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Long Term Houseguests and rules.

                              lived at my khala's for 5 months. was free to use any thing in her kitchen. of course, no formalities as we are extremely close. but i had to clean up after- strict rules abt that! just that she didnt like me baking too much as she ended up eating all that meetha!

                              i feel that 2 months is a long time. guests should be allowed to make tea, nashta etc on their own.

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