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    Really complicated Issue

    Hi All

    My very Close friend got married 6 years ago , after like 1 months they both started fighting, Issues were mostly She dont treat him the was he wanted her , She dont cook food every day , She is obsessed with cleanliness like really really obsessed , he dont have sex for like weeks some time months , and when he try to make out she would tell him I m tired n what ever and ok as a MAN its difficult for me to understand this may be she is tired for sex 3-4 weeks months ??? that cant be normal ??? and on top of that they literally argue on every thing Every thing . after like 1 year they started sleeping in different beds because she sleeps at 10 sharp no compromise and he sleeps around 12 some time 1 after watching a movie and when he comes in bed at 12 or 1 she would start moaning you woke me up n stuff ..

    ne ways they lived to gather for 3 years and then she moved to his house in Lahore and was living with his mother there while he was in karachi working , they kept arguing oh ya forgot to tell u they had a son after 9 months of shadi and then nothing for 5 years , they were about to separate when I suggested my friend to give it another shot and he agreed he went to lahore stayed for one and half month again same arguments and stuff he called me and told me that his wife did not make food once in 45 days and he was going out every day with his son for food or like bringing fast food home , I told him try n talk to her HE did that now she said sorry she will change n stuff they had sex and she got pregnant .
    When he came back to karachi He tried to contact her she didn't reply he had an accident stayed in hospital for 2 days and I tried to contact her she didnt reply he called his mom and left messages but no reply then she called after a month he asked her about not returning calls n stuff , She replied very very rudely ..

    My question is with 2 month old baby and 5 year old son do you think He should divorce her or live the life he is right now ???
    He told me If he lives with her every day fights will have worst impact on kids then Divorce ..

    #2
    Originally posted by clad:9698803
    She is obsessed with cleanliness like really really obsessed , he dont have sex for like weeks some time months .
    Just by reading the above two sentences, I can tell that he needs to work on his personal hygiene.
    People are afraid of what they don't understand

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Really complicated Issue

      you an do better then thatTLK

      I know him for some time He has no issues with his Hygiene ..

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Really complicated Issue

        Dude, your friends always have complicated relationships!!! I remember another one from a few years back
        Aada Ganja...Poora Khabis...
        Nawaz Sharif...Shahbaz Sharif :D

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Really complicated Issue

          Sounds more like college roommate problems - waking each other up if one sleeps to late, hygiene, who cooks, not cleanly enough, etc. Minus the sexual intercourse bit.

          Weird the kinds of things that break up couples. You're not dorming with someone, you're married to them.
          I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Really complicated Issue

            How do you know he has no issues with personal hygiene?
            May Allah bring peace in Pakistan. Ameen
            Aray Logo Tumhara Kiya
            Main Jano Mera, Mera Khuda janay-

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Really complicated Issue

              I dont know why people are stuck with the hygiene issue here.. I see the complications more than that!! Not making him food even once in 45 days? Only because you are obsessed with cleanliness and he has hygiene issues? He had an accident, tried to approach his wife but the wife won't respond or will respond rudely because he has hygiene issues?

              To OP, I clearly see, the girl is not interested in running the relation anymore!! Hubby wife relationship should be a balanced relationship.. Aik pal ko maan bhi len, he has hygiene issues... in 5 years of her marriage this woman couldn't tell him he should work on that?? If he is trying to to do anything or everything to keep this relation, I am sure, he would be really careful with his hygiene thing when he knows his wife is a cleanliness freak!!
              This girl doesn't seem to be serious to run this relation (for whatever reasons) and this guy has every right to live his life happily!!

              I think he should talk to her clearly straightaway.. and let her know the consequences... 5 years is a big deal!!
              So dear I love him that with him, All deaths I could endure. Without him, live no life.
              William Shakespeare

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Really complicated Issue

                These issues/complains are usually not one sided and it is best if husband/wife decide this amongst themselves.

                No one can decide this for him because it is something very personal, your friend knows the real situation and it is up to him to decide about such an important matter in his life (which now includes his kids as well).

                I find it really awkward that he told you when he was intimate with his wife!
                Last edited by anya; Aug 12, 2013, 10:41 PM.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Really complicated Issue

                  Get seniors involved and do a final talk. Else, divorce it is.
                  Insulting and inflammatory signatures are not allowed, but posts are

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Really complicated Issue

                    Divorce will make thing worse for kids.

                    Tell her that he is going to get a second wife. Inshallah affaqa ho ga, if not then get a second wife.

                    it is better then breaking home and destroying kids.
                    لا عيش إلا عيش الآخرة
                    BROTHERS NOT SLAVES. Regain Respect

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Really complicated Issue

                      ^ What if he can not afford a second wife?? and what about the kids from first marriage? Won't they be neglected? Not everyone can be that 'fair' in their dealings.........
                      Insulting and inflammatory signatures are not allowed, but posts are

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                        #12
                        Re: Really complicated Issue

                        If she's staying with the mom then how is she with her? Is she nice to her MIL. I find it wierd that when he had an accident he couldn't get a hold of his mom or his wife. I mean who doesn't respond to a text that says I had an accident t and I'm in ye hospital. If she's not cooking then what are the mom and 5 year old eating? Does she go herslef and pick up fast food everyday? Does the mom cook? I also find it hard to believe that such a difficult wife has no Probs living away from the hubby and with her MIL. And the intimacy and sleep issues make it seem like she sort of detests her husband, like she doesn't want to have to deal with him period.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Really complicated Issue

                          Originally posted by Sasha21 View Post
                          If she's staying with the mom then how is she with her? Is she nice to her MIL. I find it wierd that when he had an accident he couldn't get a hold of his mom or his wife. I mean who doesn't respond to a text that says I had an accident t and I'm in ye hospital. If she's not cooking then what are the mom and 5 year old eating? Does she go herslef and pick up fast food everyday? Does the mom cook? I also find it hard to believe that such a difficult wife has no Probs living away from the hubby and with her MIL. And the intimacy and sleep issues make it seem like she sort of detests her husband, like she doesn't want to have to deal with him period.

                          I was the only person who knew he had an accident He did not tell any one because it was not something life thretning and the first reaction thing he said was not to tell his mom as she is in lahore and wo bila waja dar jainge ... he tried to call his wife just wanted to speak to her He stayed in hospital for 2 days then he came back home and stayed in bed for like 2 weeks.

                          his mother left for Karachi as she wanted them both to live alone for 45 days and sort out the issues . as for the 5 year old apart from breakfast nothing was cooked in home so either ordering from the restaurant or going out .

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Really complicated Issue

                            Originally posted by aaliyahkhan1 View Post
                            Dude, your friends always have complicated relationships!!! I remember another one from a few years back
                            I Only Discuss complicated Issues here ab koi happily apne life guzar raha hai us ko bhe post karun ???

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Really complicated Issue

                              Originally posted by Lusi View Post
                              How do you know he has no issues with personal hygiene?
                              Because he is some one I spent atleast 2-3 hours a day when Im in pak ..

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