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    Roommate Issues

    So I think my roomie and I are having major communication issues. As a disclaimer I've not moved in with her yet (but paid the first month's rent). Disclaimer: I've also not met her in person, but a good friend has. So she's fairly recent immigrant from South Asia, and can we speak to each other in urdu or rather I recently started to because it makes my life simpler.

    Problem: We have a fairly smallish 12x 7.5 foot room. And she has to get rid of her bed. Feel free to holler at me if you need a king-sized bed and live close to nyc. Yes i'm spamming, but the bed is/was a big part of the problem.


    So initially we agreed that we'd get bunk beds to conserve space in the room, however she has a thing against used beds (understandable) but won't even go for pre-owned frames and neither of us has the money to fulfill her standards. Then she decided against that and we'll each be getting our own beds and place them in different sides of the room. However, I've made posts of craigslist trying to sell off her bed and no one is responding. This will become a problem once I move in in 10 days and she'll have her huge king-sized bed and my single sized bed in the same room. I'm afraid she won't sell the bed and then we'll have problems, like major space problems.

    No, I can't take legal actions because I've not signed a lease because the dude who owns the house doesn't pay taxes for renting his property. Go figure.

    So whatever, she has this major problem of when I confront her about this situation or the space constraints and how it'll work out she comes back with "I'm an easy-going person my prior roommate was awesome and you're being difficult. I think you should try to find another place next month"

    She keeps telling me that we won't be comfy with one another, that i'm difficult and that I should make other arrangements if I don't like it there like 2-3 times already. And I don't even say #%#$#qq! that would warrant that. She just takes me the wrong in everything I say.

    Moving out won't be an option so should I just shut up and deal with it once I got there with my bed and things so she'll realize that she has to downsize? Her telling me to find other arrangements has seriously rubbed me the wrong way.

    How do I stop from her misconstruing what I say. I texted her 24 hours, ago and she still hasn't replied to airing out the issue and simplifying what I meant. Vat do? Should I just let her handle the bed issue and not talk to her til I get there?

    My point in talking about space was just for me to know what I can expect to work with for my own things and not go in there blind (because buying stuff in NYC is a pain in the butt). She took it as me making the room about "this is mine and that is yours" divided kind of thing. Pug my life man.

    Just buy the bed and save me from my misery guys. Thanks.

    Also, sanity advice.
    verily we all die inevitably.

    #2
    Ok I've lived in NYC for few years before moving a month ago. My advice would be to find another place. It's tough, not impossible. Also, because you are not signing a lease, she can tell you to leave anytime. Imagine taking all your stuff but no where to go. Right now is a good time to not get into this mess. My sister has been through this. It's not about the bed or lack of space, it's about her attitude. She is not accommodating right now, she'll never be in the future.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Roommate Issues

      I think you should calm down. If you to are not getting along now chances are its going to get much worse on the future. Share the bed or cut it in half. Simple.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Roommate Issues

        You're going to have to find another place. Good thing you have not locked yourself in with a lease, and if you lose a month's rent, then fine. You can ask her that if she finds a roommate, that roommate can reimburse you the finances for the month if they're reasonable, otherwise consider that amount of money sadqa.

        Look for another place. NYC is hard, so finding a single room is hard, but not impossible. Just look for other roommates that are already settled maybe with their furniture and have an empty space to make rent/mortgage, so you can take a look at what space will be yours, so you know what you're signing up for.

        Or look further out in New Jersey and commute. NJ has some easier places to live, and more space. If it's college time, I'd consider taking up a dormitory. This stuff becomes easier then, and the housing is subsidized.

        This person will NOT work with you, and you are NOT getting rid of that big bed, she is going to come and sleep on it.
        I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Roommate Issues

          I agree with spiral.
          if at all possible ... find another place now.

          mera ishq hai meri zindagi, mera ishq hai meri bandagi
          mujhe aashiqon mein shumarr kar, muje aashiqi ka silaa na dey



          Comment


            #6
            Re: Roommate Issues

            Also if she's coming in from another country to be a student here, understand that she's probably a competetive little chalaak thing. You are a step for her get up in life, and she will not respect your autonomy. These foreign grads can be difficult, because they're just cut throat competetive.
            I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Roommate Issues

              Now she's telling me to not even bring a bed with me and just sleep on her bed til it's sold. I'm going to do voodoo on her. She's going to a local community college so she isn't in so much competitive as she is just flakey. Thing is, I will not find a place cheaper than hers and I can't afford much.
              verily we all die inevitably.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Roommate Issues

                Did her previous roommate sleep on the same bed as her? Would u be ok with that especially after all the things that she's said before uv even moved in.

                I would now like to take the opportunity to tell u about my experience with flaky roommates. I'd lived with my brother throughout our university life excep for the last semester since he graduated before me and got a job elsewhere. So I was looking for a roommate (to take up the 2nd bedroom, not be in the same room as me) but couldn't really find anyone. Anyway then this Indian (christian) girl showed up and really requested me and told me how desperate she was cuz the semester had already started, she'd gotten there late and now couldn't find a place to stay. She was fine with everything had no probs whatsoever. Then about one and a half month in, she says she's moving out and has found a place. I said if u any prob with me we can work it out. She said there's no prob and that she has to move because her parents want her to. And she was not giving me a concrete reason. I asked her didn't they know when u were moving in that I'm Pakistani and all that. She said yes but they r just getting worried hearing stories here and there and want me to move. She said she'd pay rent for the rest of the semester and the fixed phone/Internet plan that we were on and also not take her deposit back. I was sort of at a loss about what suddenly possessed her that she was willing to do all this but move out ASAP. Anyway, I finally asked her do they have a problem with me being pak or a Muslim. She admitted it was cuz I was Muslim. And some psycho aunt of hers who lived in another state was telling her parents back home some horror stories of how some Muslim person had apparently kidnapped her roommate and her parents were progressively getting worried. And I forget but there was some sort of explosive involved in the whole story. It was really out there. I actually has nothing to say after she told me the whole thing but sort of just left in awe about what u could make someone believe. She was a nice enough girl though cuz she was embarrassed by the whole thing and apologetic as well. Anyway my prob was not really the money but that my parents would be worried that I was living alone. So I told her to move out whenever she wanted and didn't tell my parents about the whole deal till I was done with my final semester and back home! Anyway the next day i came home from class in the afternoon and she was already gone, moved out, her clothes books bed everything! It was like she was scared i'd hold her hostage if i was there while she moved out!! Or i'd change my mind if she didnt get out fast enough! And if she'd just told me 3-4 days sooner, a really good friend of mine was looking to move in with someone cuz she was having trouble with her roommate! True story!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Roommate Issues

                  Find another place... if a roommate is a pain the beginning, (s)he will be a curse afterwards.
                  Things Aren't Always #000000 AND #FFFFFF

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Roommate Issues

                    She hitting on you...
                    Insulting and inflammatory signatures are not allowed, but posts are

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Roommate Issues

                      I am Pakistani in NYC looking for a roommate situation because of issues with living at home.just throwing that out there. LOL.

                      But otherwise good luck living with this person. Maybe when you are both in the same place, it'll be easier to communicate and not get misunderstood.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Roommate Issues

                        Living with desi girls is such a bother. I didn't have any desi roommates back in the day - but got to hear of the drama in the desi dorm rooms where indians were sharing rooms because their parents weren't comfortable with non-desi roomies. Not like it mattered - they all partied and drank, they just did it within their desi Indian group. But LOTS of drama.

                        Sorry, kid, I feel for you. If this is all you got then just sleep on her bed for now until you guys can figure something out, otherwise, move.
                        I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Roommate Issues

                          Confused maybes when i'm homeless (I hope not) we can kick back and relax in say Brooklyn Heights/ Astoria if you pay like 70% of the rent?

                          Well, I think she realizes that she's being wonky the majority of the problems are stemming from the bed which is now being taken care of I'A and she even offered to share more of her storage space. I think she's just loopy but means no harm.

                          I am actually surprised at how lax my parents are being about me moving out, I expected some revolutionary chapairs but all I got was "You're only doing this til college is finished kid".
                          verily we all die inevitably.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Roommate Issues

                            ^ Did your parents want you to have a desi roommate?
                            A samurai bares no sign of weakness, even when dying of hunger.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Roommate Issues

                              ^

                              My parents initially didn't want me to room period. But i'm sure they feel better than they would have otherwise. I was initially going to room with a very awesome Hispanic girl but couldn't due to financial restrictions, this girl just happened to be desi, as well as having cheaper rent.
                              verily we all die inevitably.

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