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    For those married couples living with the husband's family...

    ...how do you split expenses, if at all? Who pays for the rent/mortgage/bills/groceries?

    Hubby's parents will be moving in with us soon (they are coming from Pakistan), and we will be fully covering the mortgage and all home expenses. We may choose to finish the basement to create a private space for ourselves, but it's on our tab. His parents don't work, but they haven't yet started receiving their pension yet either. 2 bro-in-laws live with us and their income gets spent on themselves.


    I've known of couples that have moved into hubby's parent's house with a fully finished basement waiting for them and they don't contribute to the mortgage or any home expenses. That leaves me wondering what they do with the disposable income if they work full time?

    I'm just curious to know what the norm is.

    #2
    Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

    If they did not spend any dollar on you from the time you turned 18 and did not provide you with food and shelter, then you can justify asking them for their contribution towards the house.
    Are you planning on shampooing these dirty koalas?

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      #3
      Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

      Originally posted by ShahreyarKhan View Post
      If they did not spend any dollar on you from the time you turned 18 and did not provide you with food and shelter, then you can justify asking them for their contribution towards the house.

      ?? I am not complaining about taking care of his family. It gives me pride to support them. I was only asking what the situation is in other people's homes.

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        #4
        Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

        ..
        Last edited by HiraIM; Aug 1, 2013, 09:25 PM.

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          #5
          Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

          Wow ok my situation is total opposite. I live with my husband, MIL, FIL, and two unmarried younger SILs. My FIL pays the mortgage, and all the bills. My SIL pays some bills only if FIL runs out of money to pay everything that month. My FIL doesn't ask a dime from my husband and me. Our in-laws want us to save up money so we can buy our own home soon InshAllah. Actually this was the whole point of living with them after marriage (to save for a house). We do pitch in - in other ways such as buying the whole family take-out dinner (which we do often) and occasionally doing groceries. In all fairness though, my husband paid for his entire education on his own and his entire wedding so now is the time for him to save money since he pretty much had to start from scratch after paying for our wedding.

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            #6
            Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

            Your in-laws are moving in w/ you?

            I'm so sorry.

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              #7
              They are your husbands parents. They have rights over their son.Be patient..
              Same works if your parents had to move in btw.

              Enjoy their blessings while they are still around.
              Its bigger on the inside!!

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                #8
                Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

                In most desi families the parents do not contribute towards any living expenses even if they have money.

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                  #9
                  Ok if they don't work and have no source of income, why is there a question of who will take care of the bills. Isn't that obvious?

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                    #10
                    Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

                    Originally posted by RaniPakistani View Post
                    ...how do you split expenses, if at all? Who pays for the rent/mortgage/bills/groceries?

                    Hubby's parents will be moving in with us soon (they are coming from Pakistan), and we will be fully covering the mortgage and all home expenses. We may choose to finish the basement to create a private space for ourselves, but it's on our tab. His parents don't work, but they haven't yet started receiving their pension yet either. 2 bro-in-laws live with us and their income gets spent on themselves.


                    I've known of couples that have moved into hubby's parent's house with a fully finished basement waiting for them and they don't contribute to the mortgage or any home expenses. That leaves me wondering what they do with the disposable income if they work full time?

                    I'm just curious to know what the norm is.
                    Why don't your BILs contribute? Just curious...it seems odd if they make their own money.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

                      Originally posted by STONECOLD View Post
                      They are your husbands parents. They have rights over their son.Be patient..
                      Same works if your parents had to move in btw.

                      Enjoy their blessings while they are still around.
                      Well said.
                      Are you planning on shampooing these dirty koalas?

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

                        The bils should want to contribute if they're working.. Unless money is very tight you'll probably be considered rude for asking or expecting it tho..
                        Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud..

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                          #13
                          Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

                          The BIL's should want to contribute if they make their own money. That makes no sense. You should have a small amount set for them so they're at least helping.

                          I am single and live with my parents but I help in the expenses every month. They don't ask me but why would you put a burden on someone else to pay for your shelter and utilities entirely? Doesn't matter who it is...if its my kids or my parents I live with.
                          Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. ~ Rumi

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                            #14
                            Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

                            Originally posted by TheObviousTroll View Post
                            Your in-laws are moving in w/ you?

                            I'm so sorry.
                            Keeping your parents is a shame? I feel sorry for you!
                            So dear I love him that with him, All deaths I could endure. Without him, live no life.
                            William Shakespeare

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                              #15
                              Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...

                              My nani lived with us for several years at one time. She had no income/pension etc. My parents paid for EVERYTHING (at that time my mother had a full-time job too).

                              My dada moved in with one of my phuppu's after my dadi died. He doesn't work anymore (he's in his late 80's) but does have $$ coming in from rental properties. As far as I know......he has offered to contribute $ for household expenses but my phupha/phupphu refuse to take any money from him. So instead, he ends up giving very generous cash "gifts" to them and their kids during their bdays/Eid etc (but this is 100% his choice).

                              If my in-laws and/or my parents ever move in with us.... I can't imagine expecting them to pay for household expenses (and I know my hubby would feel the same way).

                              However....the BIL situation is a whole another story. I'm also curious as to why your 2 BILs don't contritute anything to the household expenses.

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