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    What should I do

    I got married n moved here ...I live with my husband. Recently something is really bothering me and I don't know what to do

    I am a housewife and my husband is working. We lives in an apartment..my husband makes good enough but then god knows where does his money goes...he always doesn't have money on his account...He pays the rent,bills n grocery...recently we stared having arguments on money matters...I am telling him that we should think about future n save money to buy a house...I told him to save money but then he doesn't...

    Recently I notice that mostly he spend money on his married sister's shopping..she would always ask him to go with her then he would end up paying for her shopping...It happens every week...he pays from her grocery to her kids diapers...when I ask him, he would say that it's his money so I shouldn't be bothered...when ever someone ask him for money, he would give them without thinking

    He doesn't think that we should save for our future...

    And he always does hisaab with me...infect he doesn't give me any cash...if I need something
    then he will go with me and pay for it but sometimes he would refuse

    I am looking for a job here but then so far I haven't found any

    #2
    Re: What should I do

    eww this is scary. not because he is spending money on sister and elsewhere but because he is segregating you from himself. marriage is a notion of a "family" and "togetherness". so here, saving the money or not isnt the issue. you have lost his trust in you as a life partner, or maybe he didnt have it in you, in the very first place. maybe you can tell us.
    Let the Sea be my mother, and the Moon my father;
    I will swim with the mermaids forever thereafter....

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      #3
      Re: What should I do

      Wow, that sucks.
      The grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: What should I do

        Where are you? as in which country?

        Also keep trying to hard to find a job, is he very controlling in other aspects of the marriage?

        Comment


          #5
          Re: What should I do

          Keep nagging him, he'll figure it out one day.
          I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: What should I do

            He needs to set his priorities straight his sister has a husband who should pay for their expenses. I don't understand why your husband is doing that?

            I'd be ashamed if my brother in lad had to pay for my expenses.
            I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: What should I do

              You need a job, ASAP and save for yourself. Once you do find a job, you need to learn about investment and all your future savings, because he should have no part in that.

              Don't even bother to reason with him, the chances of him understanding are very slim, so it's better you do things for yourself.



              As much as it may seem weird having separate financial accounts/savings, I have seen it happen and that too successfully.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: What should I do

                ^The girl has spoken..
                "Har Koi Deta Hai Zakham Gin Gin Kay ....
                Mein Kis Kis Zakham Ko Apna Naseeb Samjhoon"
                By Royal Gala

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: What should I do

                  ^you missed something.......didn't ask her out for a coffee.....
                  Marr te gaye aaN ........per Chassss aaa gai A

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: What should I do

                    O yaa..well a man has to take one by one. Abhi RV ki turn hai..pher es ki bhi barii ayee gi..
                    "Har Koi Deta Hai Zakham Gin Gin Kay ....
                    Mein Kis Kis Zakham Ko Apna Naseeb Samjhoon"
                    By Royal Gala

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: What should I do

                      ^batch processing takes time......u needs multi-tasking bro.......
                      Marr te gaye aaN ........per Chassss aaa gai A

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: What should I do

                        WHERE is theorist on giving space, privacy, separate bank accounts, etc.??
                        Are you planning on shampooing these dirty koalas?

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: What should I do

                          ^ I miss her too...

                          Originally posted by E2050 View Post
                          I got married n moved here ...I live with my husband. Recently something is really bothering me and I don't know what to do

                          I am a housewife and my husband is working. We lives in an apartment..my husband makes good enough but then god knows where does his money goes...he always doesn't have money on his account...He pays the rent,bills n grocery...recently we stared having arguments on money matters...I am telling him that we should think about future n save money to buy a house...I told him to save money but then he doesn't...

                          Recently I notice that mostly he spend money on his married sister's shopping..she would always ask him to go with her then he would end up paying for her shopping...It happens every week...he pays from her grocery to her kids diapers...when I ask him, he would say that it's his money so I shouldn't be bothered...when ever someone ask him for money, he would give them without thinking

                          He doesn't think that we should save for our future...

                          And he always does hisaab with me...infect he doesn't give me any cash...if I need something
                          then he will go with me and pay for it but sometimes he would refuse

                          I am looking for a job here but then so far I haven't found any

                          good... keep it that way..... and make sure he remember his words ... .... and once you start earning, remind him his own words and never go for joint account option
                          Majbori ka dosra naam 'Shukriya'

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: What should I do

                            Originally posted by Xtron View Post
                            O yaa..well a man has to take one by one. Abhi RV ki turn hai..pher es ki bhi barii ayee gi..
                            so you are ok with married girls too.
                            and those who say, Our Lord, Give us, from our spouses and our children, comfort of eyes, and make us heads of the God-fearing.
                            [25:74]

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