The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

[NomiCA]

is there any?

as in..provoking the 'abuser' .......??

PS. i know some of the retards will try to insinuate i am trying to justify abuse(and refer to this PS as being evidence that i actually am )........but for others..........

i am just asking to get an understanding about the victims behaviour.........most of the time abuser's behaviour is discussed.........so this is something not talked about that much...

[Nisha25]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

is there any?

as in..provoking the 'abuser' .......??

PS. i know some of the retards will try to insinuate i am trying to justify abuse(and refer to this PS as being evidence that i actually am )........but for others..........

i am just asking to get an understanding about the victims behaviour.........most of the time abuser's behaviour is discussed.........so this is something not talked about that much...

the problem is that the abuser assumes they own the body and mind of the person they are abusing. even if there is provocation, human beings should be using words(not verbal abuse of course) to express their anger rather than being bullies or trying to control the "provoker". there are smart ways to deal with provocation, "what will happen if i try to shut this provoker up by hitting or swearing at them and hence making them weaker in the mind?"

in other words there is no excuse for abusing somebody.

I think that's what's said about physical/emotional/verbal abusers, they think they have control over another human being, they try to impose control over somebody who has their own mind, when they overstep their boundaries and try to impose that control physically that's when the role of law enforcement comes in

[mirage]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

Nomi, taking the thread in good faith, I still believe an abuser is an abuser and an abused is abused. The fact that the act was provoked or what still does not change the picture. If you want to cross the limits and do something whichmakes you an abuser, it was your choice always. This is for this reason that Ghussa which blinds you and makes you do such acts is called haram because it takes away the better of you: your goodness, patience and ability to reason.


This is same as when murders take place in the name of ghairat (honour killing) and then people expect to be exempted from law as if killing a human being (or the both of them) and for whatever reason is appreciated in the religion as well as the code of ethics. This is palinly horrible.

[redvelvet]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

No, I don't see this question as you justifying abuse. Both parties have a responsibility to mind their tongues and their actions. While you cannot control another person's words/actions......you always have greater control over how YOU choose to respond them. Asides from your SO/spouse............you will come across many people in life who will (at various points) "provoke" your temper. Your parents and siblings could say something that touches a nerve. Your boss or friends might say/do something that gets under your skin and sets you on fire. Does that mean one should go about thapparing everyone who provokes u? Nope. The provoker is wrong...but the one who responds with physical violence is even more wrong. Moreover, the physical abuse can completely SHUT DOWN even the tiniest possibility of constructive communication/compromise....that may have improved the situation. In other words...it can close doors and potentially destroy relationships...maybe even more so than just a provocation. Although even the uttering of certain words (doesn't have to be abuse) can put an end to relationships/situations. While religion doesn't support physical abuse....it also emphasizes the minding of one's tongue. It's a hard thing to do....the latter.

[icicle1]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

the only time you should be provoked is when someone's running out you with a really sharp knife...and you should be provoked to defend yourself...self defense might be an excuse but i dont think the law recognizes "he/she provoked me so i had to do it" as a justifiable reason. if someone's provoking you remove urself from the situation or get some help by getting a third party involved. every time i'm provoked its not ok for me to get up and slap that person...you're applying the example of being provoked only to domestic abuse, apply to every where else in the world that we're provoked and see if you come up with the same answer.

for example: someone cut me off on the highway in a rude manner...they provoked me..i have the right to rear end their car or beat them up?
my boss yelled at me for being five minutes late in front of all my colleagues...he provoked me so i can hit him with a golf club?

[hareem01]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

Yep. You're not going to slap your parents or boss if being provoked, are you?

[Southie]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

No

[Deeba1234]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

You're not going to slap your parents or boss if being provoked, are you?

Wondering what the reply to this will be..

[Southie]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

Just happened to see the wonderful movie Bol yesterday. The father (Abbu) was entirely justified in raising his hands on his daughter, wife and killing his son, because he was being pprovoked each time.

Became a fan of "Lollywood" after seeing this movie.

[mirage]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

^ dont tell me you were not, already.

[NomiCA]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

so if someone is provoking..........its ok as long as you get back at them without being physical??

verbal attacks, taunts, arguments, etc etc etc..........

is physical abuse necessarily worse than verbal one??

[Southie]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

[MENTION=55762]mirage[/MENTION] - this was my 2nd Pak movie - actually the 1st movie was also fabulous (but we digress!)

[Southie]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

so if someone is provoking..........its ok as long as you get back at them without being physical??

verbal attacks, taunts, arguments, etc etc etc..........

is physical abuse necessarily worse than verbal one??

This "retard" is beginning to think OP is indeed defending physical abuse.
As for which is worse, it is not upto the abuser to decide - the abused has the right to choose which is the preffered form he/she wants to subject to.

[icicle1]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

so if someone is provoking..........its ok as long as you get back at them without being physical??

verbal attacks, taunts, arguments, etc etc etc..........

is physical abuse necessarily worse than verbal one??

nobody said its ok to get back at them with another form of ABUSE! if someone is provoking you...get help..a third party, try to remove yourself from the situation, try to settle in a peaceful manner.

did you really just ask which form of abuse is better or worse? do you not notice the word ABUSE>> mistreatment in whatever shape or form is damaging to the one inflicted upon so lets not decide which form would be preferred.

[NaMaan]

Re: The role of 'provocation' in domestic physical abuse.......

Its same like defending honor killing . No my friend , murder is a murder .


Have you heard that joke 'tun tun till death' . . . if not you should