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    Open Marriages

    I don't get them

    Why do people have them?

    Isn't one definition of marriage being committed to one person

    #2
    Re: Open Marriages

    Originally posted by Pepsi ki Botal View Post
    I don't get them

    Why do people have them?

    Isn't one definition of marriage being committed to one person
    Not necessarily. Take for example, polygamy ...which although it may not happen as often...is a commitment to more than one person.

    Why do people have them? I don't think it's a common arrangement......but here's my guess: Perhaps the indivudals in such a marriage feel that the limitations of monogamy may result in resentment toward their partner and the relationship......so they allow an open marriage in which they can have temporary affairs that may be more based upon sex as opposed to something more substantial. They may argue that what they have for their spouse is "love"...and what they have with others is just time-pass....and use this point as a justification. Sort of like "you're my rock..the one person I can't live without......and everyone else is just on the side." Perhaps they might argue that this arragement leaves them feeling more relaxed/happy.....which in turn strenghtens their marriage. Could even say that an open marriage reflects their understanding of human nature (in terms of temptations, etc)....and that this acceptance leads to greater tolerance of one another.

    Of course you can negate each of the above points....but they're just my guesses.

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      #3
      Re: Open Marriages

      or maybe they just have weak personalities, and use the marriage to put up an image for the world, while living their lives as they please.

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        #4
        Re: Open Marriages

        hubby and I are very open and honest with each other. That's an open marriage...right?

        in all seriousness, I once read in another advice column about a man who pressured his wife into swinging/open marriage..well turns out once it happened, he started losing respect for her and wanted to divroce..he even confessed to "I feel like punching her in the face because she enjoyed the other encounters." and this is from so-called "liberal white men"
        Last edited by Sara516; Nov 20, 2011, 12:57 PM.
        The grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

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          #5
          Re: Open Marriages

          ^lol, yes that's a halal open marriage

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Open Marriages

            Originally posted by Pepsi ki Botal View Post
            or maybe they just have weak personalities, and use the marriage to put up an image for the world, while living their lives as they please.
            Again..I'm not trying to justify such a marriage as it's an arrangement I don't support. However, proponents of such a marriage may argue that it is not a weak personality....but rather it takes emotional strength to see your spouse with another person and to allow it. You may fire back by saying that it would take more emotional strength to avoid the temptation and not get involved in other entanglements. But again...proponents may argue in such a manner.

            It's not necessarily so that they're creating a false impage of their marriage for the world because some of them might let their friends know that they have an open marriage arrangment....they may not keep it a secret from everyone. As for the idea of "living their lives as they please"...........well behind closed doors we all live our lives as we please, don't we? You may have a couple....who does not have an open marriage....who is not having an extramarital affair......who gives the world the impression that they have a happy marriage......but behind closed doors there could be verbal/physical abuse taking on and the relationship could be in a very dysfunctional state.

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              #7
              Re: Open Marriages

              ^true

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                #8
                Re: Open Marriages

                well polygamy is like an open marriage for men only and you guys are all for that...and i guess now that we are all about equality women can do the same?

                and dont tell me how the man is also taking responsibilities in polygamy...thats not what men look forward to...so the responsibility aspect is just to make it look justified. pass...give charity!

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                  #9
                  Re: Open Marriages

                  ^ You make fun of islam, eh?
                  Say no to 'islamofascism'..

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Open Marriages

                    Originally posted by icicle1 View Post
                    well polygamy is like an open marriage for men only and you guys are all for that...and i guess now that we are all about equality women can do the same?

                    and dont tell me how the man is also taking responsibilities in polygamy...thats not what men look forward to...so the responsibility aspect is just to make it look justified. pass...give charity!
                    i'm not even gonna bother if you're a troll, you fail at it, if you think you're some enlightened wannabe...you still fail

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                      #11
                      Re: Open Marriages

                      Originally posted by Doppleganger View Post
                      ^ You make fun of islam, eh?
                      Where do you see Islam in my post. Stay on topic.

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                        #12
                        Re: Open Marriages

                        Originally posted by Pepsi ki Botal View Post
                        i'm not even gonna bother if you're a troll, you fail at it, if you think you're some enlightened wannabe...you still fail
                        or neither one of what you think. the forums about giving opinions right? i just gave mine (whether its ignorant or enlightened)...if it offends you u can present a counter argument...if u dont care for it like you claim then ignore it n i promise the forum police cant make you reply.

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                          #13
                          Re: Open Marriages

                          how old are you? hehe

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Open Marriages

                            35

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Open Marriages

                              Originally posted by Pepsi ki Botal View Post
                              Where do you see Islam in my post. Stay on topic.
                              I was talking to the post above mine...
                              Say no to 'islamofascism'..

                              Comment

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