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    batameez younger sibling

    she can be ok at times, nice and normal, but then she had hr bad side, which is tantrums and shouting and stomping around. she wont come down for hours if shes pissed off, and she will shout back, be it mum or me. shes rude and aggressive at times and just gets on my nervies.i know maybe shud be more understanding towards her, shes 17, but still. she has no manners at times. and at times she can be the best mannered. im married and have moved out, its her job to help mum around, but she just sits in her room until shes been shoted at to come down and help.

    i cant be asked with her now.

    its her bday next week, should i be bothered?I KNOW maybe i sound out of order, im just fed up of her treatment of mum.

    i know alot of 17 ur oolds are odd nowadays....what should i do....

    my 18 yr old bro is similar, he can be nicest at times, and then he `l get all funy if mum tells him off, and sulk for days and stomp around.

    #2
    Re: batameez younger sibling

    My younger siblings are in their early 20's yet they still do all of this. Flipping brats! I think its because I used to do everything for them. I didnt give them the opportunity to learn how to help around the house or even speak to other adults.

    I remember just giving them the silent treatment as I was only a child myself when I was raising them so I wasnt sure on how best to use emotional blackmail.

    Im sure they will thank me one day.

    I have no idea how to deal with teenagers, they're all monsters.
    OMG Paki!

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      #3
      Re: batameez younger sibling

      Tell them that you understand that they are likely going through yet another phase but they need to smarten up and act like they are contributing members of the family.

      The more you allow their behaviour to irritate you the more you reinforce that they are accomplishing something with it.


      If they yell or talk back, ignore them. The louder their voice the softer yours' should be. If they mope, sulk and have an air of just plain attitude reach out ONCE and let them know that if something is bothering them you care there for them. But that's it. Don't molly-coddle.

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        #4
        Re: batameez younger sibling

        I think its hormones...and with time they will learn how to behave in a better manner! If others in the family are treated with respect, then they should know that this is what they too are expected to do, so it will just take some time to kick in! My bro is 13 so he's just entereing that phase...and Inshallah it won't last too long!!

        But, since were discussing this and I know i'm contradicting myslef...but sometimes I am afraid to have kids of my own...cause the culture outside is progressivley getting worse and worse and that is where they will spend most of there time for school etc..there is only so much you can teach them at home! These generations are loosing morale values and their religion at an alarming rate! So Scary!!

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          #5
          Re: batameez younger sibling

          yes agree the younger siblings are getting batameez me too yonger sis is same as ur SARA dont know what to do when ever i try to tell or get a bit rude please note i had been very polite with her at all time for which she has takken adventage of so when i try to be rude she yells more so i move around and i tell her any thing that is wrong she says i think i should not sit with uuuuuu..................its terrifying how can we be with our siblings all the time out......Allah hi hifazat karay and give them some brain to think.
          MAY ALLAH BLESS U ALL (AMEEN)

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            #6
            I emotionally blackmail my brother a lot ..... bwahahhaa.

            Major dialogues are..... you're with mom & dad, I'm not...... see they have become old, you need to help, you need to be patient, be more responsible, tum nahin karo gai tau aur kon karay ga, you need to take care of them, listen to them, they don't understand things as well as you do as they are older now, look at all these guys around you... they're such naashukraas, remember how mom used to do things for you, they sacrificed so much for us.... you'll regret not being nice to them later, etc etc.
            Works like a charm most of the time Periodic doses required.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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              #7
              I think emotional blackmail will only work for so far, after a while they will stop caring. The key thing when a teenager is having a tantrum, is to generally ignore what they say at the time of tantrums, and then draw thier attention to their behaviour at that moment in time.

              For example, if they are yelling, wait till they are finished, ignore everything else, and calmly ask them, 'why are you yelling?' and they will most likely yell again with 'because bla bla blah', again ignore what they are yelling about, repeat your point, 'ok, but why are you yelling?' and keep repeating it until they are drawn to thier behaviour.,,,most often than not, they will try to readjust thier tone, whilst trying to deny that they were not yelling in the first place. Then you can move on to the concerns they may have.

              the key thing here, is to get them focused on how they are communicating rather than what they're concerns are.. Often when they do get all emotional and they dont realise or care about the way they say or do thing and what effect it has on tohers, it is your job to make them realise the the effect and your perception of thier behaviour.
              O He whose Name is a Remedy, whose remembrance is a Cure, and whose obedience is Wealth!

              Have mercy upon him whose capital is hope and whose weapon is tears!

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                #8
                Re: batameez younger sibling

                slap then around tell them who is the boss.
                ﺃﷲ ﻧﯣﺮ ﺇﺴﻣﺇﯣﺇﺕ ﯣﺇﻠﺄﺮﺾ_ Best cheese-maker of monkVille

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                  #9
                  Re: batameez younger sibling

                  i have two daughter 18 n 20 and they do help without asking occasionally...and help always when i ask/tell them to. Thank God they dont shout back at me,though they do grumble why their brothers are not asked to help around that much....
                  what good is a grudge if you cannot hold onto it.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Monk View Post
                    slap then around tell them who is the boss.
                    innit blud.


                    wait. i retract that last bit.
                    Last edited by stoppit; Nov 14, 2009, 07:17 AM. Reason: .
                    OMG Paki!

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