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    What to do?!

    My problem is (Problem is rather a wrong word to use)... My fiance is OVER-protective and OVER-caring when it comes to his only sibling and ME... even when it comes to himself... He got tensed over pitty things to easily...

    Even when he sneezes just once, he rushes towards doc (Good for him as well as me)... BUTTTTTTTT when it comes to my beloveds I am that caring too, coming to ME, I am EXTRA more lethargic... I take even big things tooooooo easily, I am master of hiding things even... but sometimes it gets unbearable too hide your pain... giving him any single clue makes him tense, then he shouts over me like mads, saying everything that comes in his mouth, calling me aftaer every hour asking how I am? relaxing yourself is easy but relaxing other is like breaking a wall with your hands!

    Eg. I have got ulcers... the pain sometimes is un-bearable... I am master in hiding my pains too... but when he got to know about it.. he shouted at me tooo badly.... saying that why shouldnt I woke my bro p and ask him to take me to an emergency... nothing at that moment relaxes him... even a time came when I forot all my pain and thinking what on earth makes me to tell him about that! He started making promises from me as if I am a kid infront, started blackmailing him... and to the worse of it he became so loud that its un-bearable more than the pain...

    I know he do all this because he cares, he loves, I even know that when I am dying with the pain, letting him know even once wont let him sleep for the whole night and I know he's way much more aggressive than me... Even sometimes making him relax makes me cry and I dont give him any clue that I am crying just because it makes him more tensed! When I told him not to be that loud, not to act that childish, he say that he would be even more loud and blackmail even more if I dont listen him seriously!

    How can I make him believe that I am human too, I can be ill too... And how can I make him convince to reduce his anger! How can I tell him that life is much more than these small pains and there is no other pain bigger than making your beloveds worried because of you... Howwww?!

    #2
    Re: What to do?!

    hmmm.... sounds a bit serious... y u hide when u r crying... tell him that u r crying and also tell him WHY u r cry8ing... ask him to be more calm with u IF he cares abt. u that much... i know its HARD to do so but still try n try n keep on trying... inshAllah one day his love will become a more subtle one

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      #3
      Re: What to do?!

      he sounds like a psycho. Has some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder. If you can live with it, and make him realise he needs help then go ahead, otherwise he will make your life a living hell.
      A samurai bares no sign of weakness, even when dying of hunger.

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        #4
        Re: What to do?!

        ^ i concur.
        ...baat jisame, pyaar to hai, zehar bhi hai.

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          #5
          Re: What to do?!

          Did he God forbid lose someone close in his life due to not getting medical care?
          I love children and old people. Its everyone in between I can't stand - Don Imus

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            #6
            Re: What to do?!

            I agree with the others...this guy has some huge issues here....I'm the kind of person who cant STAND a hypochondriac so I perhaps I will be overly reactive here when I say RUN!! AS FAST as you CAN!!! lol! but seriously man, he needs to get a GRIP. I feel funny saying this now that I'm a mod here but really and truly, the guy is outta control. Just imagine if something god forbid should truly disable one of you...how would he be able to deal with it? I've seen my SIL go in the past three months from a vibrant, lively and productive individual to the mental status of a three year old due to a rare and very progressive form of MS. I am comforted knowing that my hub would know how to care for me and what I'd want done...can you say the same? Its a very sad thing to ponder these questions but they are indeed necessary. "For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health"...THIS is the promise.
            Can he keep it?

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              #7
              Re: What to do?!

              That is not love, its insecurity which is his personal problem. What he is doing is making it your problem too and forcing you to deal with it. Thats not very loving or caring of him...its selfish.

              I know this type all too well...they're very destructive.
              Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. ~ Rumi

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                #8
                Originally posted by cat-woman View Post
                he sounds like a psycho. Has some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder. If you can live with it, and make him realise he needs help then go ahead, otherwise he will make your life a living hell.
                lol gosh honesty can be such a mood lifter sometimes.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by cat-woman View Post
                  he sounds like a psycho. Has some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder. If you can live with it, and make him realise he needs help then go ahead, otherwise he will make your life a living hell.
                  brutally honest and funny as hell
                  i like it!

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by cat-woman View Post
                    he sounds like a psycho. Has some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder. If you can live with it, and make him realise he needs help then go ahead, otherwise he will make your life a living hell.
                    Agree!
                    1 4 3

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by Ira View Post
                      Did he God forbid lose someone close in his life due to not getting medical care?
                      Yeah... He's the only son of his parents.. (one more sis though).. His mum died when he was just 12, his dad died when he was 22, sis got married when he was 20... And both his parents are reluctant going to doc ALWAYS!

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by cat-woman View Post
                        he sounds like a psycho. Has some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder. If you can live with it, and make him realise he needs help then go ahead, otherwise he will make your life a living hell.
                        Life won't be hell.. Life is treating me more than pretty now, alhamdolialh... Everyone of us is human, have some irregularities, expecting that the otherone is Perfectly completele is nothing otherthan living in fool's paradise... Don't show me the gloomy pic.

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                          #13
                          So what exactly are you complaining about?
                          A samurai bares no sign of weakness, even when dying of hunger.

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                            #14
                            Re: What to do?!

                            How to deal with the situation calmly in a way that "Samp bhi mar ajye aor lathi bhi na totay"

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: What to do?!

                              I think he needs some sort of therapy to make him realise that nothing is going to happen to you or his sibling InshaAllah and he should just enjoy life. Do you guys have the kind of relationship to sit and talk to him when he is in a good mood about this? Make him realise that you arent going anywhere. His actions are purely a result of his past and if he is a good person otherwise, i dont see why you need to run in the other direction. I hope he doesnt get physically violent because of this attitude though.
                              I love children and old people. Its everyone in between I can't stand - Don Imus

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