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my fiance..

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    my fiance..

    long story short...ear, our families know we've been togethor for over a year, our families know each other, his sisters a real good friend of mine, and its all good.

    BUT lateley, we've been getting into arguments. well i should say that i cant beleive he's so i dont even say anything, and then he calls ack and apologizes for his mistake...but then it got real bad...we couldnt even talk on the phone for more than 10 minutes A DAY! and we used to talk for hours and always hang out...

    so hes stressed abt school and work..he has gotten himself into a lot of debt..AND i understand!! Im not asking for romantic phone calls or flowers n crap, I just dont want to him to yell n crap. If he needs to talk he can tell me..AND YES i told him that..but macho paki man ego comes in "i dont wanna talk abt it"

    so we talked the other day, and i asked him what was up, and if he needed time away from me or what.. And he sat me down and said " i know i've been acting up lately, and I haven't been acting like myself with anyone. I dont want to hurt you, im just really stressed out right now."

    SO I want to help him calm down..LIFE is full of surprises u just take one day at a time...and he doesnt realize that. so what can i say or do to help him realize that im there for him, and that he doesnt need to use anger as an outlet for everything...??

    GUYS/GALS..what should or can I out of options here...
    Jinne Lahore Nei Takkiya
    Oh Jammiya Nei

    Re: my fiance..

    It's important that you be there for him as you two will be spending your lives together and this won't be the last time he's gonna have things to stress over. When he's in a good mood, try to bring up the subject calmly and that it hurts you when he acts so stubborn. It will be good if he understands that and tries to change his way of reacting but if not, tell him you're there for him if he ever needs you and then distance yourself for a few days. It seems like both of you are under alot of stress and sometimes the situation can get worse if one party doesn't back down. So unless he's willing to reexamine his behavior and tries to stay calmer during conversations, you should back down by not speaking to him regularly as that will just make things worse for both of you and eventually blow up in your face.

    Give yourself a break and some time away can help.
    Blessed, happy, and content. Alhumdulillah.


      Re: my fiance..

      See... even when he's in stress (you can easily notice it from his behaviour) just ignore it.. some people don't want to discuss the things when in stress... and when the things are pretty normal, then ask him politely what happened that day?! But mnake him relax by talking anthing light... (I know its difficult, like when somone is crying infront of me, even though I dont know what's the reason behind, I start weeping too... I go with the swing)

      Tell you my experience, when my fiance is under stress, he too yells.. arguing him in the situation (even genuinely) further aggravates the situation... and I deals teh situation in two ways; if like he is yelling onto you stupidly (with any element of insult), I ignore it once, not the second time... I directly throw up the phone... Girl! show him that what he's doing is wrong! Second option ease him up..

      And if this is persisting too long.... don't leave him! Kep on asking him... Ignoring him means you're telling him that "I don;t care what you're"

      And yaeh dont take the things over your nerves! man can get easily stressed out than us, than have more responsibilies... !