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    Being the eldest sister

    i feel so horrible because i treat my brother and my youngest sister fine. but when it comes to my middle sister im such a b****. NOT ofcourse intentionally but it just happens. i get so irritated and annoyed because she talks alot and i guess she needs a friend who can talk to her n do what she wants to do. but im mostly busy with my school n stuff

    i hate it, because i love her so much but i just can't express the feelings. she's such a sweetheart and she looks up to me so much, so when she doesn't get the love from me she turns to my friends and i get jealous. but i just don't know how to cure this damn problem. i can't show her how much i love her because im alwasy yelling at her and always being a grump

    i feel horrible. i should be thrown in a pit and i think that's the reason she's so weak and skinny....im always scolding her and she has no friends cuz we just moved to a new neighborhood.....
    Verily my happiness is my iman,
    and verily my iman is in my heart,
    and verily my heart does not belong to anyone but Allah(swt).

    #2
    Re: Being the eldest sister

    awwww its hard being the eldest.

    u'll grow out of the yelling ..trust me ive been thru it all
    happy happy happy... happy happy happy

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      #3
      Re: Being the eldest sister

      Originally posted by sadzzz
      awwww its hard being the eldest.

      u'll grow out of the yelling ..trust me ive been thru it all
      yea but i don't want it to be too late....i don't want her to feel neglected and messed in the head cuz of me im gonna try my best Insh'Allah to show more affectiong
      Verily my happiness is my iman,
      and verily my iman is in my heart,
      and verily my heart does not belong to anyone but Allah(swt).

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Being the eldest sister

        hehe... she wont be messed up. Family members (espcially siblings) are the first to forgive and forget
        happy happy happy... happy happy happy

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          #5
          Re: Being the eldest sister

          Originally posted by sadzzz
          hehe... she wont be messed up. Family members (espcially siblings) are the first to forgive and forget
          i hope so Insh'Allah...i think im gonna buy her stuff from ny tomo and give her ltosa hugs n kisses everytime i see her Insh'Allah
          Verily my happiness is my iman,
          and verily my iman is in my heart,
          and verily my heart does not belong to anyone but Allah(swt).

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Being the eldest sister

            It sounds like she really looks up to you. I'll bet all she really needs is to have some of your time. Find some time to hang out with her, maybe rent a movie, have lunch together. But the most important thing is to be a good role-model. Whether you realize it or not, you may be shaping her concept of who she is and what she chooses in her life.

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              #7
              Re: Being the eldest sister

              I do that too sometimes, not yelling. . . more just not paying attention.

              I feel guilty too sometimes. And then i go out and buy her something. . . and now i've realized that she doesn't care much about me coming over unless i've brought her something

              I don't know what to tell you though. I'm guessing when they're older and you can relate better, then you'll hopefully develop a relationship.
              "Girls you've got to know when it's time to turn the page, when you're only wet because of the rain"

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                #8
                Re: Being the eldest sister

                give it time... im not the oldest but i do have a younger kid sis.. and she totally looks upto me... expects me to do girly things with her and gossip bout boys.. clothes... girls... etc.. she's a typical 16 yr old but im sooo way past this phase i just can't bring myself to talk bout such stuff... so i sometimes do ignore her.. but what i've noticed is.. as she grows older.. its becoming easier to handle her... like what she talks bout used to be total gibberish back then but now.. i can talk to her without feel agitated or irritatated all the time... so i'd say give it time...
                i had the same issues with my older bro when we were growin up.. he is the eldest and i just found him very irritating.. dont know why.. but he was... but now that we are both adults.. its the best relationship ever...
                so just wait for her to grow up ...
                standing alone on a street of broken dreams

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                  #9
                  Re: Being the eldest sister

                  I have a baby sis too chorni and let me tell you we used to get in huge fights all the time but now we're wayyy better! I dont know when it happens and how it happens, but there coms a point when u just stop fighting over every single thing.
                  wesey a reason why u might get into fights with this sis more than teh younger ones could be that u prolly expect a lot more of her, as in her attitude, than the younger ones. Like if she acts immature, u might find it annoying because to you she's older than the other ones so she should act older. But it'll go away pretty soon, trust me.
                  I never thought that you'd be the one to hold my heart
                  but you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start....

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Being the eldest sister

                    Originally posted by khawateen
                    give it time... im not the oldest but i do have a younger kid sis.. and she totally looks upto me... expects me to do girly things with her and gossip bout boys.. clothes... girls... etc.. she's a typical 16 yr old but im sooo way past this phase i just can't bring myself to talk bout such stuff... so i sometimes do ignore her.. but what i've noticed is.. as she grows older.. its becoming easier to handle her... like what she talks bout used to be total gibberish back then but now.. i can talk to her without feel agitated or irritatated all the time... so i'd say give it time...
                    yeah, i'm in the same situation you are khawateen..
                    i have a younger sister, but there is a big age difference between the two of us, that i find it hard to relater to her, and her to relate to me. while she's the typical 16-yr old, like you said..into everything and everyone - i'm so past that stage that it's hard for me to bring myself back to it. and she's still to young to understand that stuff that i'm going through - so it's hard for us to really communicate with each other..

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                      #11
                      Re: Being the eldest sister

                      bond where u think u can ... my sis and i like the same sitcoms so atleast we can watch tv together.. and we both are bookworms so we read books and then tell the other what their book was bout.. sounds gay.. but hey.. atleast we talk about something rather than fight 24/7 ..hehe...
                      i just get irritated with her being immature.. but then she has the right to be.. she's 16.... so it's all in the head.. whenever u think ure going to blow a fuse.. stop.. take a long deep breath.. and repeat to ureself over and over "she's only a kid.. i was that silly once too... its ok ... " ... and it will be
                      standing alone on a street of broken dreams

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                        #12
                        Re: Being the eldest sister

                        Aww that's all right, I know what u mean. I have a younger sister and brother both. But if this makes u feel any better, it's the other way round for me! As in yeh my sister will want my advice for every little thing which of course appears insignificant to us, but at the same time it's me who's more of a sport and the one who's a free spirit. So Im the one who'll probably crack a joke and get a bad look in return. Lol, I guess we, the older ones, should be a mix of both-- dish out the advice when needed, teach them how to chill and stuff, how to deal with the world...and yeah we do play a role in how they turn out. We just need to remember that, even though it may be easier to forget at times. :-)

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                          #13
                          Re: Being the eldest sister

                          Gosh, so we're all mean ol' big sisters
                          I never thought that you'd be the one to hold my heart
                          but you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start....

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                            #14
                            Re: Being the eldest sister

                            chorni baji don't get offensive but ur family is more important than ur studies. take one less class and give her a time . u can't even imagine how it feels when eldest brother or sister yelled at u . i like the way u care about ur sis . keep it INSHALLAH everything will be fine.

                            and for her
                            Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything, and have no regrets

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                              #15
                              Re: Being the eldest sister

                              chorni - Mashallah we are 5 our brother comes in the middle. I have always been pretty close with my brother and my youngest sister. Other two not really especially the one who is right after me.

                              I could never have a heart to heart conversation with her i even remember the time when we would fight. She is a very rigid person who hides her feelings very well. Once i heard her talking to her friend "I admire my apa [me retty:] she has done so much for us and always stood there even when she couldnt. I don't think i can ever pay her back for the amount of care and love she showed us over the years. She is my role model what i love about her she doesnt give up. I look up to her". I had tears in my eyes when i heard that.

                              I could never talk to her or communicate. But i think that conversation was like our threshold. As time went by we both got more sensible FINALLY. She became a junior in high school we started to communicate with Chatting or email. I can never sometimes let her know how much she means to me i think i always failed to tell her.

                              So chatting and emailing helps.. sometimes we have heart to heart conversation while i am sitting downstairs and she is upstaris. :~) its odd and very weird but hey i am glad we have some sort of communication.

                              My other sister i always felt i ignored her until she came in 4th grade. When she said it that apa i think i am the least wanted. That killed me since then i knew to take special care of her. It took those horrible words to hit me but i changed. She loves to write she is a pretty good poet and a wonderful artist. I do make sure i would sit down with her and talk to see if she is alright i telll her to reveal her deepest secrets in her dairy, which i gave her long time ago.

                              So chorni as you see i failed at it myself but you make yourself better. After high school i let go of all of my unwanted friends and became close to my family. I want them to be my life not friends. I want my family to know i am there for them.

                              Brothers are the toughest one to deal with. So what i do chorni... every now and then i take them out individually for dinner or just for a nice cup of coffee in our favorite place. We have a nice talk. My brother is 18 and at this age all those churail girls approach him because mashallah he is pretty cute. I do try my best we have open conversation. We do talk we do scream but then we laugh together as well.

                              Couple of years ago i also started another thing which sort of bring us together even more. We celebrate each other's bday at 12 am at night. Everyone knows they are getting a cake that night and we are all waiting to wish them at exactly 12. I know its weird but hey I know years down the line They all will remember these moments....

                              - i think i got carried away :~)
                              Life became all Gray! But NOW i have decided to paint it all over again.

                              I Tawt I Taw A Puddy Tat

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