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No, you must not get divorced!

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    No, you must not get divorced!

    I fail to understand why divorce is such a taboo in desi culture. Either it is me whose logic and understanding is flawed or of desis in general.

    Yes, I understand divorce is something that is to be use as a last resort and not something to be played around with. However, why should one be forced into a bad marriage, especially women.

    I see so many women mistreated right by their husbands, but still live with them as if it's no big deal. They don't get the respect and love they deserve. Often they are verbally and emotionally abused, but they seem to be okay with it. I wonder if they sad and depressed.

    What does one get out of such marriage where there really is no love and compassion other than knowing that they have a husband to live with (culturally mard ka hona bohat zaroori hai otherwise desi people will treat you like crap)?

    I feel many would be better off themselves or with someone else rather than who they are currently with. I can't help, but feel bad for such marriages.

    I just don't feel anyone should remain in a bad marriage and I see it happening amongst desis all the time.

    Given that I'm rather short tempered and like things my way or in done in fair manner, I'm often reminded that I should be able to compromise. I understand that marriage does require compromise, but why always on a woman's part?

    I find it sad the way desis are so against divorces, but all up for bad marriages. Yes, your husband could be bad and what not, but you gotta compromise. What is one supposed to get out such a marriage? Where is the internal peace and happiness?

    Moreover, this concept is further reiterated and ingrained by TV, adults, and the elderly.


    I guess I'm confused and unable to find an answer.

    PS. Sorry for being haphazard. My post got wiped, so I had to start all over again.

    #2
    Re: No, you must not get divorced!

    I dont like divorces either but I would rather be alone than unhappy. Some women would rather have someone, better than nothing type of a thing. I know most desi women aren't brought up to support themselves financially or emotionally and that is the main reason.
    Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
    A. Spoiled milk.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: No, you must not get divorced!

      It is not Islamically allowed that a man mistreat his wife. If he does mistreat her, he isn't a proper Muslim and hence we don't care about what he does.

      As for the woman, there is a very good chance that she is going to hell, since hell is mostly filled with women. How does it matter if she suffers for the 2 seconds of earth time?
      "A woman has got to be able to say, and not feel guilty, 'Who am I, and what do I want out of life?' She mustn't feel selfish and neurotic if she wants goals of her own, outside of husband and children"

      Comment


        #4
        Re: No, you must not get divorced!

        excuse me? women is filled with hell?
        Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
        A. Spoiled milk.

        Comment


          #5
          Re: No, you must not get divorced!

          Originally posted by aishaA
          As for the woman, there is a very good chance that she is going to hell, since hell is mostly filled with women. How does it matter if she suffers for the 2 seconds of earth time?
          ...don't speak on what you hold no knowledge upon.
          ...baat jisame, pyaar to hai, zehar bhi hai.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: No, you must not get divorced!

            There comes a time when you have to think about you only.
            This is the point where all of a woman's energies, patience,
            love, compassion, societal pressure and everything else has
            run out. True divorce is not liked in Islam, but it is there for
            a reason. The mullah brigade mentality of twisting every
            Islamic concept is the propoganda behind women going to
            hell. I seriously question if women will go to hell should they
            allow to have the living daylights beaten out of them
            (emotionally or physically)only because otherwise hell is
            waiting for them. Please provide me the written scripture of this.

            I think from day one of the marriage, every woman's self-esteem
            should be in its place. The point of marriage should not be to
            loose one's self in it but to come out it of it a better/stronger/more
            content person. It's about creating a happy life in a positive
            world. Nothing less than that.
            It's better to stay quite and give the impression that you're stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: No, you must not get divorced!

              Barfee and Orpheus, your lack of knowledge really distresses me. Please visit the religion forum for more information.
              "A woman has got to be able to say, and not feel guilty, 'Who am I, and what do I want out of life?' She mustn't feel selfish and neurotic if she wants goals of her own, outside of husband and children"

              Comment


                #8
                Re: No, you must not get divorced!

                aisha, dont believe everything you read on GS, 90% of what people post here is open to interpretation, as generally people state their opinion rather than fact.
                ...baat jisame, pyaar to hai, zehar bhi hai.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: No, you must not get divorced!

                  oy! you won't get sarcasm even it on your head!
                  "A woman has got to be able to say, and not feel guilty, 'Who am I, and what do I want out of life?' She mustn't feel selfish and neurotic if she wants goals of her own, outside of husband and children"

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: No, you must not get divorced!

                    ^ Haha u scared me for a minute !!
                    The grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: No, you must not get divorced!

                      I am all for divorce, afterall what better way can there be to get one's pick of husbands already trained to be obedient by other women . Saves time .
                      I hate both men and women, and am afraid of animals, so basically I am very very lonely.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: No, you must not get divorced!

                        ^ if they were so obedient then why r they divorced?
                        The grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: No, you must not get divorced!

                          they key to avoid divorce is...marriage between older woman and younger man....both at sexual peak. khushhaal gharana.
                          "Are you Laiiiiike .....Chaaicking me Aoout?"

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: No, you must not get divorced!

                            Originally posted by shweetdreamz
                            they key to avoid divorce is...marriage between older woman and younger man....both at sexual peak. khushhaal gharana.
                            One tiny problem. Society teaches us that women are like flowers: intense short-term burst of beauty followed by gradual process of wilting. We men like them when they have just blossomed.

                            Here is a fact for you. Unpalatable, but true. Most men, regardless of age, are sexually attracted to women belonging to this age bracket: 17 - 25.
                            A man is like a wild orchid--free and exotic, and makes a great conversationalist and friend; but, when you pluck one and bring it home, it withers and dies. --dope

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: No, you must not get divorced!

                              ^^ most but not all. its all a matter of knowing what u truly want.

                              im not gonna deny im attracted to older men
                              "Are you Laiiiiike .....Chaaicking me Aoout?"

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