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    Re-marrying

    Okay.. imagine the situation:

    A guy and a girl marry eachother (arranged marriage), the girls learns to love the guy and the he pretends to be in love with her... But when he gets what he married for, he leaves her (matlabi dunya) without divorcing her. For one year the girl lives on her own... still hoping that he would ever come back. Then some other guy falls in love with her... who wants to take away her tears...

    So my question is, do you think she should re-marry or wait for her husband? What would you do if you would be in her place? And what does Islam says about this... I know a man can have 4 wives at the same time, but could this girl marry again without being divorced?

    PS: Only serious replies please! Yes, it's a story based on truth.
    Last edited by Dasht-o-Sehra; Jun 8, 2005, 03:11 PM.

    #2
    Re: Re-marrying

    I think she have to get divorce first then she can marry someone else ..n i dont see anything wrong in that .
    "Hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold urs "

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      #3
      Re: Re-marrying

      huh? did her first husband die? Or he walked out on her and then she never saw him again?
      I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

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        #4
        Re: Re-marrying

        dunno about the sunni ruling on this, but i think the shia fatwa for that is that the nikah is saqit after a certain duration.
        Din-e-Mullah fee sabeelillah fasad (Allama Iqbal)

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          #5
          Re: Re-marrying

          she can file a case in the court for "khula" and once the court orders the divorce she can marry the other man....
          but without getting the divorce from her husband (either from him directly or from the court) she cannot marry another person....
          Both Halal & Haram r evident but between them r doubtful things, most ppl have no knowledge about them. So whoever saves himself from suspicious things saves his religion & honor, & whoever indulges in suspicious things indulges in Haram.

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            #6
            Re: Re-marrying

            well in case she doesnt know about her husband and no news from him of comming back, there is a permission to re marry and nulify the existing nikkah in sunni sect as well. but she need to get advice from mufti and get a fatwa about it, then she can re marry without having a divorce cause the nikkah will be nulified. khula is mostly when she knows of his where abouts and contactable then she can file a case to get divorced from him.
            پاکستان پاکستان

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              #7
              Re: Re-marrying

              Originally posted by armughal
              she can file a case in the court for "khula" and once the court orders the divorce she can marry the other man....
              but without getting the divorce from her husband (either from him directly or from the court) she cannot marry another person....
              I agree with armughal.
              The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. Russell

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                #8
                Re: Re-marrying

                Has the husbands family tried to get in touch with her??? I mean she doesn't even know if he's alive?? and if she's found someone who is serious and wants to marry her, she should go fo it. Only if she is interested aswell.

                What kind of a person does that anyways??? leave without any valid reason???
                ~**~...A Dream is a wish your heart makes...~**~

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                  #9
                  Re: Re-marrying

                  I think after a certain period the nikah isn't valid, and she has to get divorce in order to remarry. she should read the Holy Quran to get her answers.
                  main nay apnay iradoon ke shikasat say khuda ko pehchana hai (hazrat Ali)

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                    #10
                    Re: Re-marrying

                    If I was in her position I would apply for a divorce and remarry. I wouldnt wait around for someone who didnt care about me.

                    But I know a lot of woman would wait for their husband beacause they believe that they can only love one man, but what is the point if he doesnt care about you.

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                      #11
                      Re: Re-marrying

                      Okay as some people are wondering how this guy could just walk away so suddenly.. so let me put some light on it...

                      She was a 17-year old girl when her father died in an accident. Her dad had been looking for a rishta, and everyone knew these people who were interested in the girl. Her mum and dad had talked to them, but if I'm not wrong.. they had not given an answer yet. So when her dad died, those people took advantage of the opportunity and got that girl married with their son. She was 17 and he was 25... She didn't like him that much, but okay... she learned to love him. She just married him, because of her mother... and even stopped with her study. Later on she got to know that her in-laws had lied to her mother just to get their son married with her. Well, the girl was living abroad, so it took about a year I think to get him over. Meanwhile.. they talked a lot to eachother on the phone, wrote e-mails, letters, cards... everything. You'd believe that it was just a perfect distance relationship. But when the guy came over, he completely changed. He used to hit her all the time, got angry on every little thing, if she said something he would hit her and if she wouldn't then again he would do the same. The typical pakistani mind which leaves no space for the woman.

                      She became pregnant once, but instead of being happy the guy hit her this much that the child died before it could see this world. Then there was a time that he got used to the free environment of Europe, and didn't came home too much. Remember, she had been working for their living.. and he would just misuse the money.

                      Her dad had left a quite big home, a car and some money for her. He already got the citizenship... and he wanted to get her property as well, but in this matter she didn't let it come so far and called the police when he started about it. He had become so scared that he hardly came home now, and slowly got all his own stuff shifted.. And one day when she was at work, he just left without saying a word. After that.. he did call a few times, just to threaten her.. but I guess, she had become a big girl. Learned how to take care of herself in this big world... and now, it has almost been a year that he called... and she has a wonderful job.. plus she started her study again.

                      And now.. there is this guy who is serious for marriage... She is still confused, doesn't know what to do.. she told him the whole story, and yet he is willing to marry her and giving her the smiles she deserves. She does like him, but just as a friend.. She says she doesn't love him, but I think she's just scared of getting into a relationship... still hurt by what her husband did to her.






                      She does not know about his whereabouts so according to what Shak kills said, khula won't be possible. So there's a possibility to get the nikaah nulified, right? Someone who could enlighten this a little bit more...?

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                        #12
                        Re: Re-marrying

                        Its natural that she is scare about entering another relationship but time is the best healer and she is better off without him after the way he treated her. So I dont thnik she should wait on him, what is the point?

                        She should get proper advice from a lawyer about getting a divorce or getting the marriage nullified. No matter if she is or isnt going to marry this other guy.

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                          #13
                          Re: Re-marrying

                          what a jerk. good thing she was in europe and was able to call police when she needed help. it wud've been worse for her in back home (sadly).
                          i think if she files a case against him, (depending on the country's law), he can get stripped of his citizenship and deported back home. she doesnt have to do the job of finding him, police can take care of it. i think there is a period of time that she has to wait (ask the scholars) other wise she can file for khula and divorce him without him being there.. ( i think there is some clause about it in shariya or Quran, again ask the scholars).
                          good luck to her.
                          - I swear to drunk I am not God :-/

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                            #14
                            Re: Re-marrying

                            What is there to be confused about?! Just get a regular divorce in an European court. Dump his sorry ass and file a police complaint against him for abuse.

                            She should do this even if she isn't going to marry the other guy.
                            "A woman has got to be able to say, and not feel guilty, 'Who am I, and what do I want out of life?' She mustn't feel selfish and neurotic if she wants goals of her own, outside of husband and children"

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                              #15
                              Re: Re-marrying

                              uhh this is so sad, nobody should go thru what she did at such a young age!!! or any age! but everything happens for a reason and its a good thing he left her when he did. I can't imagine what he would do if they were still together. Agree with Surror the guy can probably get deported back.

                              I wish her the best and tell her dont rush into things get to know this guy/ his family as much as she can.
                              ~**~...A Dream is a wish your heart makes...~**~

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