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    Mistresses and Misers

    Lussi has raised an excellent question in Aasha's thread.

    Many girls have a shikaayat that their boyfriend or husband does not spend much on them. This can mean that the guy doesn't get his lady gifts (whether handmade or bought by money - whatever). Or it can mean he isn't putting enough money into the relationship.

    Many guys do not wish to spend much on their women. For guys who have girlfriends, they think that this relationship might not last, so why spend money on her?

    For guys that have wives, or are in more committed relationships, the reasoning is "chirya haath mein aa gayi hai, so no need to put out the seeds".

    (bad analogy I guess, since they're still putting out seeds...well anyway, you know what I mean )

    So what is your analysis of it, o wise people of gupistan? Who is more justified in their views?

    And yes this is another gender-war thread. If you don't like, then don't click.
    I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

    #2
    Re: Mistresses and Misers

    well i think this money spending is ok as long as it's mutual. you buy her gifts, she buys you gifts. its the one-way street that i have a problem with.
    Adopt me Angelina.

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      #3
      Re: Mistresses and Misers

      lussi u never bought me anything
      - I swear to drunk I am not God :-/

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        #4
        Re: Mistresses and Misers

        lussi ne mere ko bhi koi gift nahi diya tha

        Lussi ka bacha !

        I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

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          #5
          Re: Mistresses and Misers

          sur ur veryy special..and deserve more than what anyone can buy for you...it's just priceless u know...can't buy it..
          Adopt me Angelina.

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            #6
            Re: Mistresses and Misers

            i think girls like that are dumb...gifts are thoughtful(atleast thats wat they are suppose to be) but they are not a measure of how much you mean to a guy. Some ppl give gifts juz cuz they are suppose to, why would u want that? I dont see why girls think thats so imp, i hate girls who need guys to flash money to satisfy them...theres alot more to a relationship than that. If a girl is whinning about that than theres bigger problems in her life than just the guy. And then how do u know hes not giving u anything because he doesnt want to?There might other reasons for it. Maybe hes spending money when they are going out n stuff. Thats anohter thing, i dont know why the guy always has to pay for that.
            Disclemer: I mispel al i watn

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              #7
              Re: Mistresses and Misers

              Originally posted by lussi
              well i think this money spending is ok as long as it's mutual. you buy her gifts, she buys you gifts. its the one-way street that i have a problem with.
              Same here. It ticks me off when I hear from girls that their guys are not getting them enough gifts and are not spending enough money on them. And ironically, the girls are not spending any money on them. They just want the guys to take them out, buy the jewlery, and what not. It works both ways.

              Personally, I hate gifts. I hate to accept gifts and I hate to give gifts. And same reason, if one gives more gifts than the other one, then this problems arises "I gave you more" and it comes down to the same thing: One is not spending enough money on the other person.

              I will tell my wife that look, you ain't gettin' no gifts from me! Except maybe on her birthday and our anniversary, but on valentines, first date, first lunch, first phone call, and all that junk: NO.
              ...I know that which you do not know. (Quran - 1:30)...... Which then of the bounties of your Lord will you deny?...(Quran - 55:13)...
              Shikra was here.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Mistresses and Misers

                Men can be busy and pre-occupied with their own stuff. However, that does not mean they don't love you or care for you.

                Women I guess are more into the idea of exchanging presents, so they generally seem to be spending more time coming up with ideas and purchasing presents. Whereas, men would usually take their wives/gfs along with them to get them what they want. If you think about it, it's a lot better than having a man buy you a random present or a thoughtful present (could be in the form of jewerly) that you don't like.

                Besides, I'd rather have someone treat me nice all year round than receiving presents randomly.

                I do agree that many men could be cheap and miserly, but not all men are the same.

                Money can buy you everything, but happiness.

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                  #9
                  Re: Mistresses and Misers

                  Shikra: so you don't think that the Prophet's tradition of gift-giving to his wives was a good way to keep the wives happy?

                  :halo:
                  I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Mistresses and Misers

                    Originally posted by Shikra
                    Same here. It ticks me off when I hear from girls that their guys are not getting them enough gifts and are not spending enough money on them. And ironically, the girls are not spending any money on them. They just want the guys to take them out, buy the jewlery, and what not. It works both ways.
                    .
                    women think that their giving it up, is the gift for men
                    Adopt me Angelina.

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                      #11
                      Re: Mistresses and Misers

                      Like I said, it's my personal opinion. But Prophet (PBUH) didn't give fazool gifts. Maybe on Eid etc. yeah, but not for any other odd reasons that todays girls are just adding on to the list. I am sure you know how desis are. Don't they compare the prices etc. of gifts that someone gave them 2 years ago? Hmmmmm.....mein uskey ghar gayi tou meney ussey 20 dollar ka gift diya, woh merey ghar aayi tou uss ney mujhe 15 dollars ka gift diya!!! This causes the distances in the relationship in today's world, rather than bringing people close. People now a days don't realize it's the thought that counts, not the price tag on the gift :halo:

                      My $.02

                      Lussi bhai Let's start a tehreek
                      ...I know that which you do not know. (Quran - 1:30)...... Which then of the bounties of your Lord will you deny?...(Quran - 55:13)...
                      Shikra was here.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Mistresses and Misers

                        Damn I hav trouble getting a guy interested in me n some girls r whining that he doesn't buy them enough crap

                        Seriously, I'd feel weird if a guy bought me anything. I don't even expect them to pay for my food when we go out, simply coz i don't want it thrown back in my face or held against me. Then I'd feel like I "owed" him.... :yukh: Only people i expect ot pay for me are my parents and bro, thas it
                        The grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

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                          #13
                          Re: Mistresses and Misers

                          ^ hehe.. yeah just be thankful for what ya have. Gifts/Cars/Jewelry comes and goes.
                          Khudi koh kar buland itna, Kay har takdeer say pehlay, Khuda banday seh khud puchaay... bataaaa... teri raaza kya hay ?!? - ALLAMA IQBAL

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                            #14
                            Re: Mistresses and Misers

                            ^ once u get em u r gonna be whinning too
                            Disclemer: I mispel al i watn

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Mistresses and Misers

                              From what I have read, the Prophet would travel a lot - when married to Khadija and even later. Often making alliances, etc.

                              He would bring back gifts - something for each wife. And he told a companion who asked him about it, that he indeed gives random gifts like this to them because it makes them happy, which then makes him happy.

                              Yes, many females do dekha dekhi, etc, and that's unfortunate.

                              I think that whether the gift cost a lot of money or cost no money doesn't make any difference. You could pick a flower off your path from work and give it to her, and that's a nice gift.

                              Little gifts here and there I think become necessary in a relationship. Like I said, it doesn't need to be bought from a store. Doesn't have to be material even. It can be as simple as a random kiss or a written "i love you" on a note. Relationships go smoother that way, since it eliminates the whole "I wonder if this other person still loves me?"
                              I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

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