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    Desi larkian need to...

    stop idealizing marriage so much, acquire some brains, get some decent education, and stop worrying about what my parents and/or falan falan rishtay daar are going to think if I decide not to get married early or separate from my husband.

    Marriage with minimal education (high school grad) is too risky for desi women. Not only do many remain jaahil this way, but they end up succumbing to the BS their husbands hurl their way. I'm sure many would get to hear from their husbands 'tumhain kya pata dunya mai kya ho raha hai. tum konsi parhi likhi ho...'.

    Since I happen to work at a desi store, I regularly come across so many wives that are treated like crap by their husbands. I can't imagine how rude they would be to the wives at home when they are so disrespectful to them in public.

    It's truly very sad and depressing.

    #2
    Re: Desi larkian need to...

    agreed

    Eveyone should get a proper education or educate themselves by reading... we all should be able to stand on our two feet and not depend on anyone of the rest of our lives.
    happy happy happy... happy happy happy

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Desi larkian need to...

      Uh oh, better watch out girls, that feminism label might get pasted on you too

      Really good post
      "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - John F. Kennedy

      "Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
      Someday we gonna dance with those lions
      Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'" - flipsyde

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Desi larkian need to...

        Not again. Look its very simple. Women are equal to men right? So take some ****ing responsibility for your own plight. A woman is uneducated because she succumbs to society and allows it to dictate her life. She can do exactly what you say but they don't and sadly it is by choice.
        You can't fix stupid. So might as well troll them!

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Desi larkian need to...

          D*mn, forgot to close the door behind me....

          Sorry ladies

          plus I kinda agree with him too, even though you were saying this in the first post
          Last edited by minah_pa; May 29, 2005, 08:21 PM.
          "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - John F. Kennedy

          "Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
          Someday we gonna dance with those lions
          Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'" - flipsyde

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Desi larkian need to...

            Originally posted by CM
            Not again. Look its very simple. Women are equal to men right? So take some ****ing responsibility for your own plight. A woman is uneducated because she succumbs to society and allows it to dictate her life. She can do exactly what you say but they don't and sadly it is by choice.
            CM, I do agree with you, hence, the reason I believe that us women need to be more realistic. Furthermore, I feel we are in a dire need to use our brains to at least obtain decent level of education.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Desi larkian need to...

              Sadiyah - It's ok, CM has been programmed to attack, even if people are on his side. He just doesn't believe anyone will agree with him any more. WA has warped him

              Again, very nice post
              "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - John F. Kennedy

              "Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
              Someday we gonna dance with those lions
              Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'" - flipsyde

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Desi larkian need to...

                Not really WA. I have been this warped since i was born. But then that is not the issue at hand. The women of GS have a serious issue with taking responsibility. Do a search on GS. Now as for your post i read it as another "lets blame men" thread.

                However to point one thing out, if i attack i insult. If i don't insult you personally i am just being frank and extremely honest.
                You can't fix stupid. So might as well troll them!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Desi larkian need to...

                  Where do I blame men? curious.....

                  Edit: I reread your post and it could mean anyone, so, where does anyone here blame men? She is saying get an education first....
                  Last edited by minah_pa; May 29, 2005, 08:44 PM.
                  "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - John F. Kennedy

                  "Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
                  Someday we gonna dance with those lions
                  Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'" - flipsyde

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Desi larkian need to...

                    <snip>....but they end up succumbing to the BS their husbands hurl their way. I'm sure many would get to hear from their husbands 'tumhain kya pata dunya mai kya ho raha hai. tum konsi parhi likhi ho...'.

                    Since I happen to work at a desi store, I regularly come across so many wives that are treated like crap by their husbands. I can't imagine how rude they would be to the wives at home when they are so disrespectful to them in public.
                    There you go.
                    You can't fix stupid. So might as well troll them!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Desi larkian need to...

                      Well I agree and disagree with the initial post. I mean personally, I think education is very important for not just a healthy marriage, but a healthy life. Secondly people can have a Ph.D , yet remain "jaahil" (ignorant) like so many people I see and know. Education doesnt mean one will know how to deal with all issues related to marriage, it doesnt guarantee that a woman will be able to deal properly with negative situations. So all in all, it completely depends on the two individuals in the marriage. To say education plays a big role is right, but to say it means a person will no longer be jaahil is wrong. I have seen women who have no education yet are smart, intelligent, loving and have great marriages. I have seen women who are highly educated yet have no sense and have awful ways of dealing with issues in their marriages.

                      A marriage is about two people. The love, the hate everything - involves both of them, not just one. So I would have to say that desi men are not completely at fault here.
                      Last edited by Muslim_Queen; May 29, 2005, 08:59 PM.
                      "Today in heaven they opened up a new chest dedicated to charity. It's name ?"

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Desi larkian need to...

                        Ahhh, CM - is it haram to be a bad husband? Then I would understand why they don't exist to you.

                        There are bad husbands out there, just like there are good ones. What she is saying is to do something about it to the women, not that the guys have to change. Not bashing.

                        I hear OG just signed on and is posting in WA as we speak, go to it now, I know you're bored here.

                        For the desi men that are henpecked, this goes for you too.
                        "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - John F. Kennedy

                        "Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
                        Someday we gonna dance with those lions
                        Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'" - flipsyde

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Desi larkian need to...

                          You know, I've seen it too. I dont blame JUST men. Of course they have a great hand in it, because if 50% of the human population becomes empowered then where do the men go with their dicks?

                          But in our desi society, at this stage in human history, I think the parties to blame are the girls themselves, but more importantly their family.

                          I've seen way too many situations in which the girls dont bother to move forward with an education because they're brainwashed by their parents that "larki ko shaadi hi karna hai, aur kya?"

                          So its really the mom and dad that have a lot of power to really build confidence in their kids. And our desi parents dont because at some point they all forgot to read the How-To-Raise-Your-Kids-Right Manual. It pops out with the baby, you know. They probably thought it was to be used to wipe the baby's butt.
                          I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Desi larkian need to...

                            Let me clarify myself.

                            1. Yes, if one a woman decides that high school is enough and time for me to get married. Chances are that she could later on be exploited by her husband and mistreated because he could easily use the argument that 'what do you know. you sit at home, while I get to face the world outside, so I know better'. Unfortunately, I've seen it happen many times and I wish I could do something to help out the ladies.

                            On the contrary, there are many husbands who are still very nice to their wives, but if a woman decides to not educate herself beyond high school, then there is a chance that this could be go against her in future.

                            2. I speak of women educating themselves not because they have to raise kids. I say it because God forbid, if things go bad in future and you wish to separate, you need to be educated in order to get a decent job. Otherwise, chances are that the woman, if she decides to separate will end up with a very low level job, or would have no choice but to stay with her husband as she would be unable to support herself.

                            3. Yes, there are parents who force their kids into marriage, while there are others who sort of let the daughters decide. Daughters get super excited about the thought of getting married and quit school.

                            Alhamdulillah, I'm very happy for them all, however, quitting school early is not always the best strategic decision when taking everything into perspective.

                            To sum it up, all I'm suggesting is that us women need to really set our priorities straight and not give up on school early in life. It may sound attractive right now, however, it may not be a wise choice when planning long term. There are all sorts of people out there and the least we could do is try our best to make sound decisions to save ourselves from becoming victims of bad marriages or some other form of calamity.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Desi larkian need to...

                              The worse part is since they are not very educated or they realize they can't stand on their feet....its impossible for them to get out of such abusive marriage. Only if they were educated enough to stand up for themselves...therefore thse assholes men try to empower them.

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