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A question for the married folks on GS

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    A question for the married folks on GS

    • Have you noticed a change in your relationship with your parents after getting married?
    • Has this change been for the better?
    • Or Worse?
    • Was this change further compounded upon after you had kids of your own?
    • Would you have preferred if things had remained the same as they were before you got married?
    Discuss with anonymity in mind.
    "Some people believe that necessity is the mother of Invention, but they're wrong, its War" - James May

    #2
    This is a great topic but in presence of Bobby1, such topics cannot be discussed on GS anymore.

    Comment


    • SID_NY
      SID_NY commented
      Editing a comment
      I'm sorry you feel it this way but noone should stir what you post here. I wish if we can incorporate the "anonymous" feature in here. But still go ahead and post whatever you feel like, i'll try my best to make sure no one brings it up again anywhere else but trust this, we can only do so much so unfortunatley.

    #3
    From what I've observed is that the entire dynamic changes and everyone starts walking on eggshells so as not to offend the other and create problems.
    Be someone that makes YOU happy

    Comment


      #4
      More closeness with my mom, I would say.

      Shared experiences (in this case marriage and in-laws and parenthood) bring about a mutual understanding and empathy and support. You begin to understand the feelings and even struggles your parents went through when you are faced with similar situations.
      Hi Frendzz! I am a multi of a multi of a multi of a multi of a multi!

      Comment


        #5
        Originally posted by decentGuy View Post
        This is a great topic but in presence of Bobby1, such topics cannot be discussed on GS anymore.
        I just ignore his antics. He tried to start **** on one of my threads recently, I completely ignored it and didn't care. That's the only to go about on this site. I don't know under what pretense was he unbanned, considering that after his ban, he tried to catfish me using a multi, pretending to be a 24 year old woman. When it comes to his pettiness, the sky's the limit.
        "Some people believe that necessity is the mother of Invention, but they're wrong, its War" - James May

        Comment


          #6
          Originally posted by LP View Post
          From what I've observed is that the entire dynamic changes and everyone starts walking on eggshells so as not to offend the other and create problems.
          Perfectly said, and sometimes this is just too obvious.
          "Some people believe that necessity is the mother of Invention, but they're wrong, its War" - James May

          Comment


            #7
            Originally posted by The Last Straw View Post
            More closeness with my mom, I would say.

            Shared experiences (in this case marriage and in-laws and parenthood) bring about a mutual understanding and empathy and support. You begin to understand the feelings and even struggles your parents went through when you are faced with similar situations.
            This seems to be the case with most women. But I guess, with guys, its a bit different. Life after marriage becomes a juggling act, even at the best of times. Especially, when it comes to private family matters pertaining to your sibling(s) or extended family, that your parents aren't entirely comfortable discussing around anybody else, even your spouse.
            "Some people believe that necessity is the mother of Invention, but they're wrong, its War" - James May

            Comment


            • The Last Straw
              The Last Straw commented
              Editing a comment
              Yeah, I can see how the dynamics would be different based on gender.

            #8
            Administrator's Warning:
            Copied Post from 3rd party website removed due to undisclosed, unverified links that could potentially contain virus
            Last edited by SID_NY; May 13, 2022, 05:06 PM.

            Comment


            • SID_NY
              SID_NY commented
              Editing a comment
              Thats a terrible copy and paste. Remove all the links and give credits to the source where you copied it from. Honesty is a bigger trait than we think. Thanks!

            • SleekDesign
              SleekDesign commented
              Editing a comment
              Hm... try reading Quran & understand/interpret the verses yourself as they're meant to be understood/interpreted. Will remove alot of your confusions. Children/parents relation in islam is not master/slave relation. There is 'respect' factor which is highly important & comes out of unconditional love. If children opt to obey the old parents, much reward for them. If not, there is no compulsion but there are no rewards either in the hereafter.

              Oh & I responded to your post in general just to encourage you to clear doubts & not to original thread because I have never been married (no intent to marry either) & no experience of seeing/analysing joint families living together except for a short time (few months) of my brother's new bride before migrating to another country. Other brother moved out to live independently since long before his marriage when we lived overseas & now together only due to father's demise.
              Last edited by SleekDesign; May 13, 2022, 01:04 PM.

            #9
            11111111111111111111111111111
            A man drove a car into a German school group visiting a popular Berlin shopping district Wednesday, killing a teacher and seriously injuring nine people, according to authorities. Police said they were trying to determine if the crash was deliberate or caused by a medical emergency.
            Last edited by Bobby1; Jun 8, 2022, 06:51 PM.

            Comment


              #10
              111111111111111111111111
              Last edited by Bobby1; Jun 8, 2022, 06:51 PM.

              Comment


              • SID_NY
                SID_NY commented
                Editing a comment
                Always admire a piece of advice. Thanks!

              #11
              [11111111111111111111 crushed by parents
              A man drove a car into a German school group visiting a popular Berlin shopping district Wednesday, killing a teacher and seriously injuring nine people, according to authorities. Police said they were trying to determine if the crash was deliberate or caused by a medical emergency.
              Last edited by Bobby1; Jun 8, 2022, 06:50 PM.

              Comment


              • SleekDesign
                SleekDesign commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello again,

                I wrote my previous post assuming both the parents/children in question (as per the subject of this thread) were mentally 'normal' without any psychological disorders. Not at all about "rapists, child molesters, wife beaters, murderers corrupt individuals, nazis, and terrorists". I believe islamic rulings will change in case of those exceptional 'abnormal' cases of parents/children relations. By the grace of Allah, I'm blessed with most loving parents although the haasid haters from within the family & outsiders did all they could to spread serious misunderstandings between us to break our family for any of their own worldly benefit. By the grace of Allah, we were protected from the evil scheming of both the haasid & greedy outsiders & relatives. However, it is much easier for satan's human tribe to break families that are distant from religion, understanding of the religion.

                I definitely didnt mean you failed at raising your kids as I don't know nothing about that. I read some other posts from you where I saw Islamic concepts about permission of early marriages especially of girls & some other subjects were misunderstood by you. Although, in this topic, you mentioned christian scripture but won't be surprised if you may have misunderstood Islamic concepts also to do with parents/children relations.

                & oh I didnt know that rapper was your son. Goodluck to him.

              #12
              1111111111111111111111111
              Last edited by Bobby1; Jun 8, 2022, 06:48 PM.

              Comment


              • SleekDesign
                SleekDesign commented
                Editing a comment
                I believe you're talking about Pakistani communities living in Pakistan or overseas & the Pakistani lawyer with 3 kids living abroad.

                That's why I say it is very important to not only be fully aware & informed of islamic values (I'm assuming the families here to be muslim) but also raise one's family with the correct wisdom of dealing with conflicts as explained in islam. Everyone has their own set of values as they find suitable for their own community/families. But for muslims, the job of dealing with home/fsmily's big or smaller conflicts has been made much easier only if they understand & follow the rulings correctly no matter what the issue is.

                Both my parents come from religious backgrounds despite having liberal views. Although, they became a bit conservative after moving to Pakistan & living in a similar community. But us siblings didnt have strict religious upbringing which I personally regret because there is so much wisdom in Islam that we did not have the opportunity to learn. But still am glad that I'm blessed to have the opportunity to make sense of much of what I have read so far.

                Many muslims families can easily resolve their issues at home using that wisdom but unfortunately, majority do not have the patience to learn, implement upon themselves or intellect to correctly interpret. That is also a major cause of doom of Pakistanis today. The misguided lot.

                To answer your question, in normal circumstances, offcourse not. No outsider can issue a fatwa about another's family issue because no outsider can see or has experienced what the family in question has. So it is best for every family to resolve their own issues at home in complete guidance & wisdom of 'the book'. No humans can claim to have that wisdom. Especially not the ones distant from religion.

              #13
              1111111111111111111111
              Last edited by Bobby1; Jun 8, 2022, 06:48 PM.

              Comment


              • SleekDesign
                SleekDesign commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello, first of all, apology as it was late here yesterday so had to go.

                2ndly, I'm not aware why you need to go to court. & I believe you're talking about American or Canadian courts, not Pakistani courts. So the women out there dragging their personal home matters to courts must be from all backgrounds muslim/nonmuslim. Even in Pakistan, when I hear such things, such home matters of strictly private nature being resolved by outsiders instead of the husband/wife themselves responsible for taking their issues to that level, I just think it's stupidity. That & other similar marriage issues where a marriage becomes a tamaasha for public entertainment are the reasons I do not want to marry. I'm a very private person. Writing on online forums under anonymous handles does not mean you want your life to become public property & target of ill-gossips. Similarly, marriage is not a certificate to the other partner to make the bedroom/home matters public. Loathe such behaviour. You can control your own actions & decisions but can't control others'. Its better to stay safe.

              #14
              1111111111111111111111
               
              Last edited by Bobby1; Jun 8, 2022, 06:48 PM.

              Comment


              • SleekDesign
                SleekDesign commented
                Editing a comment
                Actually, marriage is a failed institution everywhere because by 2022 majority world's people are engrossed in the world & what benefits they can gain from engaging in the world. Marriage is no more 'spiritual'. Sure it is a contract but Islam has laid out complete fair terms on which it must be based. But people do not care about religion in minor of things, forget marriage. It is just a formality to be used.

                If it is not the couple themselves at war then it is the people surrounding them that put them to war for their own worldly benefit (that I learned from my parents marriage & how jealous haters tried to spoil it). Every situation has a different issue. I have learned from other people's experience that marriage in 2022 is a fitna unless you're an exceptionally blessed person. If you are honest with yourself & others then you can atleast live fitna-free in 2022. Then also depends on your personality. I have inherited my father's dominant personality trait & can do fine just living by myself. If i recall correctly, I was not much interested in 'marriage' since a young age like girls are. I do understand other people are not like me & their requirment of a partner may drag them into that fitna. I have often heard from many people telling me I am so lucky to still be living a worry free 'protective' life with no such fitna attached with marriages. I'm & will remain immensely thankful to my parents but especially my father to not push me into that fitna. He had seen the world, a great judge of character so he knew the conditions of the society & true oqaat of 'men'. I learned after being fooled atleast twice. The stories they tell you about their greatness & others' mediocrity are opposite of what they say. My father loved his daughter too much to let her become a victim of any such 'man'. He told me, "We will never push you into something you're not happy with." He was a man of his words. I don't mean there are no good men. But they're rare just like good women. Before it were my parents with the right advice, now I have wisen up enough not to give my life to a wrong person.

                Yes lawyers malpractice is universal no matter which country.

                I don't know the term SEA & the video you shared has been removed.
                Last edited by SleekDesign; May 14, 2022, 09:11 AM.

              #15
              11111111111111111111111
              Last edited by Bobby1; Jun 8, 2022, 06:47 PM.

              Comment


              • SleekDesign
                SleekDesign commented
                Editing a comment
                Out of all the places, humans & their actions, you found 'Topkapi Museum', Sultan, his captured women slaves serving as concubines & him raping, abusing, killing them at will to describe 'marriage' ??? Incase you didn't know, the concubines culture has been abolished from Islam. Most likely, that is what brought an end to muslims' Ottoman empire. Evils that were practiced in the human history which the prophet pbuh worked all his life to abolish were retained by the later Muslim leaders to serve their ayyaashi, not to serve Islam. Many Islamic scholars agree that Ottoman empire during their last phases was extremely inhuman to put it politely. I suspect, they also learned Islam from tIslam same kafir sources as that of TTP, IS, BLA & all the foreign funded muslim terrorists trained & taught islam by kaffirs.

                I cannot understand why you have to compare that evil master/slave/concubines practice of the later Ottoman-sultans with marriage ?? Do you even undertsnad the difference between a free, nonslave Muslim woman & slave women serving as concubines ? For someone who learns his Islam from kaffirs fantasizing about turning all the muslim women into slaves & raping, abusing, killing them & muftis like tariq masood overly obsessed with 4 marriages, women, subjects of sexual natures, I sure shouldn't expect better but I sure didn't expect you to relate that concubines culture of the history to marriage of free, muslim women.

                Unfortunately, all the terrorist groups created, funded by anti-Muslim global mafia also are trained with the same concepts & how much the prophet pbuh worked to abolish master/slave culture all his life because of its inhuman nature is not told to those muslim goons joining those terrorist groups. They're taught only the 'kafir-version' of islam. & now they plan on capturing pakistan through these same kafir-trained 'muslim ghundaas' of TTP, BLA, IS who know nothing better than this master/slave culture, women, rapes....... & all the related categories. That's what they fantasised about doing to Pakistani women.

                That kind of visualization for marriage can only occur in a highly misinformed (about real Islamic marriage between free, nonslave individuals) & abnormally sexually-obsessed brain.

                Oh incase it was not clear already, your last post was 'disgusting' to say the least. Why do men find only such subjects when speaking of Islam? I wouldn't say it is out of their hate for Islam alone because if it was then we wouldn't have muftis like tariq masood who's lectures largely spread around the subjects of the same nature (other than wife/child beating offcourse). & a considerably huge muslim population learning Islam from such sources & such muftis end up thinking this is all Islam is limited to.

                I know almost all the true islamic knowledge in the written form by older Islamic scholars was burned down by non Muslim invaders of Muslim countries & muslims have to try alot harder to access better sources of knowledge & information about all the islamic history & concepts because correctly interpreting Quran requires higher IQ+EQ which majority muslims do not have as their brains have been damaged by intoxicants & over doses of bollysh & now the news channels.
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