Your Own Kind or Otherwise?

[The Last Straw]

Do you prefer to marry a Desi like yourself or a non-Desi? Explain your preference.


Discuss!

[Pakistani Prince]

Own kind.

[The Last Straw]

Otherwise. Own kind comes with too much drama.

[Bobby1]

Otherwise. Own kind comes with too much drama.

There are no kinds in humans, we are not breeds of dogs.

[The Last Straw]

Sam is the bravest woman in the world. She married an entirely different species.

[Bobby1]

The Last Straw I am accused that we are alike and deserve each other. I took That as a compliment

[aqua70]

Part of me wants a Pakistani guy but there are just some things I have seen over and over again which really irk me and put me off of Pakistani men.

A)- Walking ahead of their wives, not even looking back to see whether she is ok.
B)- Anger and control issues, so many have anger issues, it is not even funny.
C)- Not helping out in household chores.
D)- Mama's boys.

Other ethnicities haven't really impressed me either, everyone has their own issues so to answer you question TLS, I prefer a decent man. Don't care for ethnicity as long as our religious and moral values match.

[The Last Straw]

Agree. I’d like to add to your list the things that I have observed time and time again:

Inability to hear “No” for an answer. Telling a woman she is running out of time after she turned you down is a form of manipulation. No woman wants to marry a man out of a feeling of majboori that she is running out of time or that she is up against other limitations, nor does any woman want to view the guy as having done an ehsaan on her by proposing. She has the right to refuse and such condescending rationales are contrary to any claims of respect or love you may have for her.

Huge ego, lack of maturity, inability to properly balance relationships due to a failure of understanding the religious rights of parents or in-laws and spouse. Fighting dirty or below the belt and this one especially applies to both genders, but attacking each other’s parents or even hitting back at your spouse through their parents or family.

[Pakistani Prince]

Oh, i agree!

[decentGuy]

When the history of our times will be written, it will be noted how portrayal of Muslim women as victims went overboard and decimated the ability of many privileged Muslim women to stay married. Many Muslim girls are being brought up with the mindset to live as a divorcee and single mom once they'll grow up, rather than with the mindset to live as someone’s wife. Every new generation of Muslim women is having worse attitudes toward marriage than every previous generation, despite having more protections. Political correctness of many Imams who couldn't care less about the consequences of going overboard played a role too.

Few years ago I listened to a live 2.5 hr lecture by a popular English-speaking Muslim speaker on rights of husband and wife over each other. The first 2 hrs were dedicated to the rights of wives, and the last 30 minutes were about why husbands should give up their rights.

Although most Muslim men would still prefer to marry a Muslim woman and live happily ever after, but it’s getting harder regardless of ethnicity.

[Bobby1]

When the history of our times will be written, it will be noted how portrayal of Muslim women as victims went overboard and decimated the ability of many privileged Muslim women to stay married. Many Muslim girls are being brought up with the mindset to live as a divorcee and single mom once they'll grow up, rather than with the mindset to live as someone’s wife. Every new generation of Muslim women is having worse attitudes toward marriage than every previous generation, despite having more protections. Political correctness of many Imams who couldn't care less about the consequences of going overboard played a role too.

Few years ago I listened to a live 2.5 hr lecture by a popular English-speaking Muslim speaker on rights of husband and wife over each other. The first 2 hrs were dedicated to the rights of wives, and the last 30 minutes were about why husbands should give up their rights.

Although most Muslim men would still prefer to marry a Muslim woman and live happily ever after, but it’s getting harder regardless of ethnicity.

Yeah, better be single than be abused by some weak inadequate misogynist forever. I have seen some 5-2 droopy-shouldered, chicken-legged guys on welfare acting like the Majjaazi khuddas. Many bring ladies from Pak thinking they can abuse and control in the name of religion.

[a7mado]

I always thought I'd marry an 'apni' and that's what I had always preferred, but life had other plans. Now I'm happily married to a woman who's maternal grandparents were holocaust survivors.

However, my outlook on the this issue still remain undecided. Also, I have no idea that, statistically speaking, whether mixed race marriages last longer than same race marriages, or vice versa.

[SleekDesign]

..........

[Bobby1]

Part of me wants a Pakistani guy but there are just some things I have seen over and over again which really irk me and put me off of Pakistani men.

A)- Walking ahead of their wives, not even looking back to see whether she is ok.
B)- Anger and control issues, so many have anger issues, it is not even funny.
C)- Not helping out in household chores.
D)- Mama's boys.

Other ethnicities haven't really impressed me either, everyone has their own issues so to answer you question TLS, I prefer a decent man. Don't care for ethnicity as long as our religious and moral values match.

When you look at values than those guys will be conservative and many of them consciously believe in that females are an inferior gender and hence expectation of gender roles. Modern men take females as equal or better gender, how ever they would
occasionally drink, do weed and maybe have a past. All three of my sisters boys in California are too domesticated, their ladies rule the house, they are funny, well mannered successful and two are with Vietnamese girls and one with a Hindu