Nazarrrrrr...

[The Last Straw]

Let's have some fun discussing the topic of NAZAR..

If you are one of those people that does not believe in nazar at all, then this thread is not for you (example: Bobby). This thread is for those who believe that while nazar does not account for every mishap, it is still barhaq.


1) Have close friends and relatives ever hidden things like upcoming weddings, employment, major purchases from you for fear that you will put your nazar on them? Of course, they will never admit that to your face if that were the reason. But if you intuitively pick up on this, how do you usually react?



a) Get upset and feel very betrayed and wounded even. Possibly resort to some politely worded guilt-tripping. Decide that you won't be sharing details of your life with them either.


b) Respect their privacy because you acknowledge that they have the right to disclose or not disclose personal information to whomever they please. Remind yourself that you also have that right to privacy and would want it respected.



2) Are there certain things that you are very, very guarded about that you tend to keep mum about for fear of nazar or whatever it may be? If so, what are they? (Don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable).


Discuss

[SleekDesign]

............

[Captain Obvious]

I believe that though it's real, not every mishap is due to it. As far as I know, nobody has hidden anything from me for actual fear that I'll put nazar on it, but I know of people who stay quiet about things like weddings, jobs, etc. for a while before publicizing it or even telling me about it and it doesn't bother me. I'm usually quiet about most of my personal matters until any effort has come to fruition. Not necessarily due to nazar, which I acknowledge as a possibility, but I've just don't see any point in telling just anyone about what's happening in my personal life.

[krash]

I grew up with the concept of 'Nazar Lagna' - sometimes loosely translated as the Evil Eye. Even though later I came to realize its superstitious nature, I always felt that there was something right about this concept that I couldn't articulate. Now I realize that it is an acknowledgment of the contingency of our situation. Whatever is being praised is not guaranteed. I may praise someone's health, but there is no guarantee that he will be healthy tomorrow. So I add Masha'Allah (as God has willed) to acknowledge the contingency and accept God as the ultimate giver of that health. It does not mean that my 'nazar' can harm the other person - that is utterly superstitious. It just means that it is immodest and prideful to take credit for something that is given as a gift from God. The true 'nazar' is our pridefulness and not the other's 'Eye' .

[decentGuy]

This is an excellent but complex topic. I hope I'll be able to explain my position in as few words as possible.

While I do believe in nazar, but that has never affected my decision to share good/important news with anyone. If someone told me they hid some good/important news from me due to nazar, I won't believe them one bit.

I used to feel betrayed when things were hidden from me by people with whom I used to share my good/important news. But not anymore! Now I start to care less about such people. I have to deal with people who wouldn't even tell me if they ate something delicious lately, but they would have no hesitation in asking me for detailed updates on my life. If they confront me, I make up some lame excuse so they would unequivocally know that I care less about them than before.

I created a thread, Misguide them back?, sometime back that is in a way related to what I'm trying to say. I have seen people who never respected privacy of others when it came to marriage and children. But when time for them to get married came, they became super private. And later on when they had children, their privacy went up exponentially with each child. I felt most betrayed by such people. My policy is that if someone takes one step toward me, I take 5 steps toward them. But if someone takes one step away from me, I take 10 steps away from them.

For your 2nd question, I believe in the 2 morals of the following story of a sparrow:

[The Last Straw]

LMAO. I have noticed the strange phenomenon that you speak of amongst a few (not all) of my female cousins. Their former, more talkative, more open personalities were became replaced by a more quieter, more inwards-turned, more private and measured persona after they got shaadii-ed. I wanted to place a sympathetic hand on their shoulder and ask, "Bataao, behn. Tumhe kya cheez larrh gayi hai that you've become like this?" But I didn't. Alas, I regret it. Pooch hi leti.