This may be a lengthy post so please bear with me...
I started using this forum in the late 90s, early 2000s when I had my first encounter with social issues. Just like now, I had no one to turn to and this forum and the members gave me some hope. I know it's pathetic I have to and had to turn to an online forum for support but friends, counselling, family, other resources did not work.
Fast forward ~20 years later and I find myself in the same predicament. I am going through many challenges. I have every problem possible, ranging from health, social, family, marital, academic, financial, and legal issues. I never had to confront or realized I had these issues until after covid and I was working from home. Since I was busy going to work, had a routine and did not have much free time for my mind to aimlessly wander on random thoughts, I just buried those issues in the back of my head.
In the past 3-4 months, these issues have come and affected my life. I have serious health, social, family, and marital issues. My financial, academic and legal issues are minor to the point that I only bring them up because combined they do impact me but not to the extent my other issues do.
I am almost at a point of no return. I've sought out help from members of this forum, counselling, doctors, friends, and nothing seems to work. I'm so lost that I don't know where to go or what to do. The simplest task is so daunting for me and affects me.
If I have to go out to do errands, I have extreme self confidence issues to the point that I usually go late at night or early AM. If I ever end up watching a video or website that has people who are doing better than me...I literally end up staying on my bed for days thinking how my life is so crappy.
I try to be strong and make myself better but I have done a lot of bad things in my life and all these issues, the root cause is my lack of confidence and self esteem. I let my physical appearance affect me negatively which caused me to be inundated with thse issues since I was in my early teens. I am in my early 30s now and still can't seem to get my life straight. The only thing that gives me some motivation is my job but I know I can always lose that and its materialistic in my mind.
I try to be accepted by society but with six degrees of separation and everyone knowing each other, its hard. The only time in my life I was able to conquer these issues was when I lost weight and I felt good. I am trying that but it is so hard to start initially.
I don't know what I expect from others. They have given so much to me to help me but I feel like a lost cause. I am just ranting so I can let my feelings out. I am not sure if the responses to this post will help but letting my feelings out on this forum is helping a bit and in a twist of irony, just like I posted almost 20 years ago, it may hopefully help me.
I started using this forum in the late 90s, early 2000s when I had my first encounter with social issues. Just like now, I had no one to turn to and this forum and the members gave me some hope. I know it's pathetic I have to and had to turn to an online forum for support but friends, counselling, family, other resources did not work.
Fast forward ~20 years later and I find myself in the same predicament. I am going through many challenges. I have every problem possible, ranging from health, social, family, marital, academic, financial, and legal issues. I never had to confront or realized I had these issues until after covid and I was working from home. Since I was busy going to work, had a routine and did not have much free time for my mind to aimlessly wander on random thoughts, I just buried those issues in the back of my head.
In the past 3-4 months, these issues have come and affected my life. I have serious health, social, family, and marital issues. My financial, academic and legal issues are minor to the point that I only bring them up because combined they do impact me but not to the extent my other issues do.
I am almost at a point of no return. I've sought out help from members of this forum, counselling, doctors, friends, and nothing seems to work. I'm so lost that I don't know where to go or what to do. The simplest task is so daunting for me and affects me.
If I have to go out to do errands, I have extreme self confidence issues to the point that I usually go late at night or early AM. If I ever end up watching a video or website that has people who are doing better than me...I literally end up staying on my bed for days thinking how my life is so crappy.
I try to be strong and make myself better but I have done a lot of bad things in my life and all these issues, the root cause is my lack of confidence and self esteem. I let my physical appearance affect me negatively which caused me to be inundated with thse issues since I was in my early teens. I am in my early 30s now and still can't seem to get my life straight. The only thing that gives me some motivation is my job but I know I can always lose that and its materialistic in my mind.
I try to be accepted by society but with six degrees of separation and everyone knowing each other, its hard. The only time in my life I was able to conquer these issues was when I lost weight and I felt good. I am trying that but it is so hard to start initially.
I don't know what I expect from others. They have given so much to me to help me but I feel like a lost cause. I am just ranting so I can let my feelings out. I am not sure if the responses to this post will help but letting my feelings out on this forum is helping a bit and in a twist of irony, just like I posted almost 20 years ago, it may hopefully help me.
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