[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive]Salams all[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive]I hope you are well. I need some adivce but before that here is my story so you understand the background.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive]I live in the west, am in my early 40s and am a professional. Due to my parents death, I live alone although my brothers and their families are close by. They all have children ranging from late twenties to teenagers. My brothers and I have a big age gap. Two of my bhabis are great, they do not intrude in my life, offer advice when I ask for it therefore I like to hang out with them more. You can see where this is going? My eldest bhabi got married into our family when I was 10! The relationship that we had was always of her telling me off, telling me my 1000 faults including my short height etc etc. She always says mean things to me and hence I keep my distance. I am not married and recently she has been on my nerves more. Everytime I see her name calling me or she sits next to me I get anxiety and panic attacks because of that dictatorial relationship.
Where am I going with this? Well my parents always asked me to let it go for the sake of my brother, who himself is a victim of her sharp tongue. The point is I have had enough, it is not good for my mental health and she needs to stop intruding into my personal life regarding marriage. Her every sentence has 'I am the eldest bhabi in it', she always tells me that I am more friendly with the other two bhabis but fails to see why. All 3 are professional women so they are used to seeing a variety of people.
I am in two minds to have a chat with her about this once and for all, however, as always, I know she will play the victim in front of her kids and my brother and hence my neices and nephews will resent me, they already have started a little when I made a comment about useless forwards on a family whatsapp group.
So, if you have read this far, thanks, send me your prayers, mine are with you insha Allah, but can you help me with the following questions that she always says in front of the family to show I am the bad one:
1. I called you for dinner 5 times (she only called me once!), you never spend time with us.
2. I called you so many times to come to the picnic with us, buy you never picked up the phone.
3. You need to tell me about rishtes as I am the eldest bhabi.
4. You always hang out with the other two but not me, you are creating groups in the family.
5. You never stay the night with us.
She has had fights with the other bhabis in the past who have met her verbal fights with fights and now she is wary of them. I have never, everytime she has hurt me with a comment, even whilst both my parents were in critical care in hospital, I always cried and went quiet. She has then always labelled me as batameez.
HELPPPPPPPPP WE ARE ALL ADULTS HERE, BUT SHE JUST DOESN'T BACK OFF. [/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive]I hope you are well. I need some adivce but before that here is my story so you understand the background.[/FONT]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS, cursive]I live in the west, am in my early 40s and am a professional. Due to my parents death, I live alone although my brothers and their families are close by. They all have children ranging from late twenties to teenagers. My brothers and I have a big age gap. Two of my bhabis are great, they do not intrude in my life, offer advice when I ask for it therefore I like to hang out with them more. You can see where this is going? My eldest bhabi got married into our family when I was 10! The relationship that we had was always of her telling me off, telling me my 1000 faults including my short height etc etc. She always says mean things to me and hence I keep my distance. I am not married and recently she has been on my nerves more. Everytime I see her name calling me or she sits next to me I get anxiety and panic attacks because of that dictatorial relationship.
Where am I going with this? Well my parents always asked me to let it go for the sake of my brother, who himself is a victim of her sharp tongue. The point is I have had enough, it is not good for my mental health and she needs to stop intruding into my personal life regarding marriage. Her every sentence has 'I am the eldest bhabi in it', she always tells me that I am more friendly with the other two bhabis but fails to see why. All 3 are professional women so they are used to seeing a variety of people.
I am in two minds to have a chat with her about this once and for all, however, as always, I know she will play the victim in front of her kids and my brother and hence my neices and nephews will resent me, they already have started a little when I made a comment about useless forwards on a family whatsapp group.
So, if you have read this far, thanks, send me your prayers, mine are with you insha Allah, but can you help me with the following questions that she always says in front of the family to show I am the bad one:
1. I called you for dinner 5 times (she only called me once!), you never spend time with us.
2. I called you so many times to come to the picnic with us, buy you never picked up the phone.
3. You need to tell me about rishtes as I am the eldest bhabi.
4. You always hang out with the other two but not me, you are creating groups in the family.
5. You never stay the night with us.
She has had fights with the other bhabis in the past who have met her verbal fights with fights and now she is wary of them. I have never, everytime she has hurt me with a comment, even whilst both my parents were in critical care in hospital, I always cried and went quiet. She has then always labelled me as batameez.
HELPPPPPPPPP WE ARE ALL ADULTS HERE, BUT SHE JUST DOESN'T BACK OFF. [/FONT]
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