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    #16
    Babies are best creatures ... they are pure souls and hearts....
    You mold them as you want ....
    comes with complete package. and you can expect anything from them....
    babies finally dictate your life, once they arrive you have to adjust .... s

    Either having babies, or no babies.... both are in win win situation...

    I believe every mother is good mother...

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      #17
      Originally posted by navzzz View Post


      You do not raise children to expect they will care for you, or give you much importance in your life. They have already given enough joy and pleasure by giving you an opportunity to enjoy and cherish their presence in your life, get comfort from seeing them grow up and become independent. Childrem have no obligations to look after their parents, good on them if they do. This is circle of life and will continue regardless.
      Just out of curiosity: are you muslim?

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        #18
        There is a female Indian vlogger who got Vitiligo disease quite early on in her life. In Vitiligo, white spots appear on skin and they keep growing in size for decades. The vlogger became famous in Pakistan for her travel vlog to Pakistan a couple of years ago. In an interview she told her story of how she coped with the psychological aspect of her disease. One way, she said, would have been to attack every other girl so as not to lose her mind. Another way was to find peace with her situation, and instead of getting hung up on what she doesn’t have, to focus on what she does have. She chose to focus on what she did have. As a result, she developed such an amazing personality that people watching her vlogs can feel the positivity. Remember, this is on a platform that is so obsessed with looks.

        Moral of the story is, find peace with whatever you don’t have and appreciate what you do have. Having a spot free skin is a blessing but that is not all there is to life, same is with babies.

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          #19
          Originally posted by akaprincess View Post
          should i give up on wanting them?

          growing up as an only child, sucks. I have always wanted a big family of my own. Clearly that isnt happening.

          everyone always says “whatever happens, happens for the best. Ive never been a believer in that. But lets say its true.

          so, does that mean its good im childless? Despite being married in the past and all, i have never been been pregnant let alone gave birth.

          is this for the best? Cuz maybe if i have kids, i would be a bad mother? That my kids would turn out to be horrible? Cuz we certainly dont need more badly raised kids.

          should i crush that dream and let it go? Cuz technically, it would be for the best?

          Re: whatever happens, happens for the best
          Just because it hasn't happened yet, does not mean it will never happen.

          But lets say its true:
          You just havent had a child yet. Thats all. It is not a divine message that you shouldn't have kids. Dont take it to be that! You're hurting yourself.
          It does not mean you would be a bad mother.
          It does not mean your kids would turn out to be horrible.

          Should i crush that dream?
          No. Embrace the dream. If you try to crush it, it won't change the fact that you want to have kids.
          Hang in there. You will make happen the things you want, or you will get lazy and forget about it.
          Just don't give up on the destination halfway through the journey.

          All the best!

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          • akaprincess
            akaprincess commented
            Editing a comment
            thank you

          #20
          Originally posted by akaprincess View Post
          should i give up on wanting them?

          growing up as an only child, sucks. I have always wanted a big family of my own. Clearly that isnt happening.

          everyone always says ‚whatever happens, happens for the best. Ive never been a believer in that. But lets say its true.

          so, does that mean its good im childless? Despite being married in the past and all, i have never been been pregnant let alone gave birth.

          is this for the best? Cuz maybe if i have kids, i would be a bad mother? That my kids would turn out to be horrible? Cuz we certainly dont need more badly raised kids.

          should i crush that dream and let it go? Cuz technically, it would be for the best?
          Aww I love you, and feel for you! I'm so sorry you're going through this and I sincerely hope things turn out good for you.

          Remember not having something doesn't mean you don't deserve it or you've done something wrong. Allah tests us through AND rewards us for being patient for things we MOST crave and love. Hang in there, keep your sabr.

          I strongly recommend doing istighfar.

          "And said, ask forgiveness of your Lord. Indeed, He is ever a Perpetual Forgiver. He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers. And give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers." (Quran, 71:10-71:12)

          Have you looked into adoption? If you need help, pm me when you log on. Lots of love!
          "Brevity is the soul of wit." Hamlet, William Shakespeare.

          Comment


            #21
            Originally posted by akaprincess View Post
            should i give up on wanting them?

            growing up as an only child, sucks. I have always wanted a big family of my own. Clearly that isnt happening.

            everyone always says “whatever happens, happens for the best. Ive never been a believer in that. But lets say its true.

            so, does that mean its good im childless? Despite being married in the past and all, i have never been been pregnant let alone gave birth.

            is this for the best? Cuz maybe if i have kids, i would be a bad mother? That my kids would turn out to be horrible? Cuz we certainly dont need more badly raised kids.

            should i crush that dream and let it go? Cuz technically, it would be for the best?
            Yes. Please?

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            • Cashmere
              Cashmere commented
              Editing a comment
              We resort to being desperate when we have neither choice nor hope.

            • Exoduss
              Exoduss commented
              Editing a comment
              Mayusi Islam main haram hai per say

            • Cashmere
              Cashmere commented
              Editing a comment
              I understand

            #22
            Originally posted by LP View Post

            Why do you want to have kids? Have you thought about the reason you want kids?

            If you don't have a single kid then there's no 'only child growing up alone'.
            This is a weird comment LP. Wanting to reproduce and reproduction in general is a highly important characteristic of living organisms. It is humam nature. Even if there was no logic to this, your question is unwarranted imho.
            "Brevity is the soul of wit." Hamlet, William Shakespeare.

            Comment


              #23
              Originally posted by navzzz View Post


              You do not raise children to expect they will care for you, or give you much importance in your life. They have already given enough joy and pleasure by giving you an opportunity to enjoy and cherish their presence in your life, get comfort from seeing them grow up and become independent. Childrem have no obligations to look after their parents, good on them if they do. This is circle of life and will continue regardless.
              Yes, yes. We should not expect any empathy from creatures we popped into existence out of our bodies and prioritized them over ourselves for 20 something years. No obligations, yes.
              "Brevity is the soul of wit." Hamlet, William Shakespeare.

              Comment


                #24
                Originally posted by Cashmere View Post

                This is a weird comment LP. Wanting to reproduce and reproduction in general is a highly important characteristic of living organisms. It is humam nature. Even if there was no logic to this, your question is unwarranted imho.
                Why weird? Finding out why you want something isn't weird or wrong
                Be someone that makes YOU happy

                Comment


                • The Last Straw
                  The Last Straw commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Agree. People who have kids and want kids are able to explain their reasons for wanting one and also for wanting additional kids to the one that they already have. I don't think it's always so simple as thinking that we ...(and especially women)...are hardwired to just want kids....because you will find exceptions to that.

                  I have also seen examples of parents who are not doing right by their kids. Parents that have handicapped their children either by making poor choices or failing to act responsibly. Those examples have led me to question...why have the child in the first place....and why continue to have another one and another one if you're still struggling with the first one. Then, of course, after having such questions, you end up reminding yourself that Allah destined that child to be born.

                #25
                .................

                Last edited by SleekDesign; Mar 22, 2022, 03:20 AM.

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