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What to do when spouse gives you no support?

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    What to do when spouse gives you no support?

    A close relative of mine has a wife who doesnt lend him much support in anything that he does. I've always had this conception in my head that women are of the caring, supporting type no matter what.

    This relative of mine is working on a community project, that will help children in the neighborhood. His wife's response is, "ha, i'd like to see you try and get that running." What kind of a person has such an attitude and with her own husband? Here he is trying to do something really good (Mash'Allah), and she is completely ignoring his initiative. The worst part is, we have heard she is like this about everything. Unless she is the one who initiates, she takes no interest in her husbands activities.

    I'd just like to know what is going on. Is this a mental thing, or what? What would make a person behave in such a manner? Is it the need for competition? Jealousy? Attention? What? *confused*

    I dont know what I would do if I was married to someone like that. It must be difficult going through life with a partner who doesnt really support you.

    But I see this relative and he handles it pretty well, mash'Allah.
    "O man! What has seduced thee from thy Lord Most Beneficent?" - Quran 82:6

    Sponsor and choose an orphan at alyateem dot com

    #2
    You shouldn't be biased just because
    you're on the guy's end of the lot. Look at it neutrally
    and perhaps there is a reason she feels so much animosity
    towards her husbands and his actions. Sometimes certain
    things happen which make the spouse feel one way toward
    the other and the feeling tends to stay because of what had
    happened between the two and spouse # 1 considers
    everything spouse # 2 does no matter how good, as hypocritical
    due to what they had to endure.

    Obviously if she does it for no reason then they do have
    some serious underlying issues which can become a pile
    of rubble later on down the road. But most often than
    not these animosities are there because of something
    which had happened earlier and had left some recurring
    scars.
    It's better to stay quite and give the impression that you're stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

    Comment


      #3
      Assuming I didn't do anything wrong to deserve to be treated that way and nothing happened to her to suddenly make her that way...and that's just the way she is ...

      Well I'd rather be alone then with someone who'll always criticise me and put me down.

      Comment


        #4
        maybe its just her nature... some people dont mean to be unsupportive, they just dont know how to be optimistic.. hence always criticising..

        sometimes people who are unhappy with their own achievements and lives will put the closest person to them down.. and this is usually the person they love the most..

        talk to her if u want

        Comment


          #5
          May be her husband lives for others i.e. always trying to do somethign for others and not really taking care of her and spending time with her.

          Let say if you work 9-5 M-F and have a wife and kids at home but after coming home you try to help community rather than spending time with fmaily then she has every right to complain.

          Family first ---> if your cousin is takign good care of his family but wife still complains may be she got some mental problem

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