border between politeness and hypocrisy

[sadya]

When are you being a hypocrite, how far can one go? It's hard to be nice to someone you know is bad, when should you be honest and when just polite?
And how do you know if someone is genuinely kind or being hypocritic towards you?

[batameez]

good question .... don't know the answer thought

[sadzzz]

i think just be nice to everyone.... if u cant say something nice.. then dont say it at all... thats basically it....

if u think ur being a hypocrite by telling someone they are nice when they are not.. then dont say it at all... but lets say if u face a situation where the person is sobbing away and u want to tell them the truth but not hurt them... well u can do it in a nice way

.. trust me.. im an expert in this

[sadya]

Allright, expert Sadzzz.
Thanks. :-)

[Mehnaz]

Originally posted by sadzzz:
i think just be nice to everyone.... if u cant say something nice.. then dont say it at all... thats basically it....

Yup, I agree with this. Personally, if I don't like someone, then I can't put on the insincere act of pretending to like them or enjoy their company when I don't. My thoughts and feelings show on my face .... I can't hide it.

[sadya]

Same problem here, Mehnaz, they say you can't offend anyone and you have to be polite and kind, but sometimes it just shows regardless of how polite you are!

[~MuNiYa~]

very very interesting topic

[ahmadjee]

In relationships of any kind honesty is revered but if such honesty requires you to be plain rude then I would much rather prefer people pretending to be nice to me!

For example, after a long hard day when you are feeling tired & want to go to sleep .. but a good friend shows up with all his problems! What do you do? IMO, it's noble to pretend fresh so he doesn't feel unwelcome. You can be honest & turn him away but then what kind of a friend would do that?

In another example, if a co-worker of yours is not someone you approve off but you are being nice to him/her for your own gain, then it's not really something plausible. But if you show patience to keep work environment pleasant or just because you expect others to show the same patience towards you, then your pretending isn't harmful at all! It's all about intentions.

Hypocrisy is too strong of a word to describe the lying or "pretending to be nice" habit of few people.

[batameez]

nice point ahmadjee ... :-)

[sadya]

QUOTE]Originally posted by ahmadjee:


For example, after a long hard day when you are feeling tired & want to go to sleep .. but a good friend shows up with all his problems! What do you do? IMO, it's noble to pretend fresh so he doesn't feel unwelcome. You can be honest & turn him away but then what kind of a friend would do that?

In another example, if a co-worker of yours is not someone you approve off but you are being nice to him/her for your own gain, then it's not really something plausible. But if you show patience to keep work environment pleasant or just because you expect others to show the same patience towards you, then your pretending isn't harmful at all! It's all about intentions.

[/QUOTE]

Those are good points actually. I guess it all depends on the situation then.