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    Thinking of moving my family to Pakistan...

    Hello Everyone,

    This is my first post here, I have been going through the posts and found this forum to be very useful.

    So here is my story, We moved to the UK as a newly wed couple in 2002 for further education and to settle here leaving both our families (both sides of the family) behind in Pakistan. Now, its been almost 12 years and we have 2 kids 8 and 4. As the older one is growing up fast and I can see the influence that the western culture is having on her, on the other hand, I also realise what my children are missing out on being away from the family specially on occasions like ramadhan, eid, birthdays, holidays.

    We visit Pakistan regularly every other year and my children love being pampered by nanhiyaal and dadhiyaal. They try to bond with the cousins and uncles and aunts but there is not enough time. Now we are thinking of moving back to Pakistan, mainly Islamabad. We have strong family ties there, accommodation is not an issue. But my husband and I will need to find reasonable jobs to maintain some standard of life.

    I have been asking a lot of people who are in Pakistan about their opinion and have been getting mixed reviews, some say there are problems in the country but are not as major that we shall not move, others say that we are out of our minds to consider this move as the schools are much more advanced due to the media exposure.

    So, in short, our few considerations for the move are: (a) Kids get to live in their culture and love Pakistan as we did, (b) get to know the family, (c) we get to be close to our parents. Things that I am worried about are (a) would we be able to adjust in the environment after been away from the country for so long, (b) will my kids feel alienated in the school?

    Any advise will be greatly appreciated.

    #2
    Re: Thinking of moving my family to Pakistan...

    You know I'm in Islamabad for past 5 years now. We moved back in 2008 when my eldest was 9 years old... We moved for similar reasons.... As we missed family on both sides and I wasn't really finding it easy raising kids in Germany with a great difference in values and practices there.
    Anyways, we moved when suicide bombings here were quite common. Many people advised us against it.... Initially we moved to UK for sometime but that was even harder in some ways. So we moved! My hubby is still in EU, visiting us whenever he can, which is roughly 4-5 times an year.... I'm living with my kids.
    We had quite a bumpy ride for some time but fast forward it to now... After 5 years I'm quite satisfied. I was actually able to turn a few dreams in reality.... Like my kids started hifz , I did my masters, we went for hajj, and I'm now enrolled in another course besides starting a little business. And most importantly, we are right here with family in times of happiness or otherwise. My kids were part of all celebrations and weren't just looking at pictures, sitting thousands of miles away .... I wish no one gets to see a terrible time but there were a few deaths in family when we were abroad.... I had a terrible time getting over.... Now 10 months ago my own younger sis passed away... Though its still hard to believe but being here with family helped immensely... In glad I was with my mother at this difficult time.
    My folks and in laws don't live in isloo but aren't really far.... So we are always just a call away from each other.
    I won't say it's all rosy.... There are definitely challenges and difficult times, but everyone gets his/ her fair share, regardless of geographical location. So follow your instincts.
    Wish you all the best with whichever way you make up your mind.
    Last edited by Afia; Aug 6, 2013, 02:36 PM.

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      #3
      Re: Thinking of moving my family to Pakistan...

      Really sorry to hear about your loss.....last year I lost my father and only went to Pakistan for a couple of weeks which was not enough to grieve and has been hard coping on my own. At one point we were also considering for my husband to stay here in London and for me to move with my kids, but thought it will be hard without him there......Which school do your kids go to? Did they find it hard to get settled and make friends? Do you think it is better for kids to be schooled in Pakistan than in Germany?

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        #4
        Re: Thinking of moving my family to Pakistan...

        ^
        Inna lillahe wa inna ilayhe raajioon
        May your father's foul rest in peace.

        I typed a detailed reply, but it got lost... Its too inconvenient typing from my phone... I'll inshaAllah get back to you by evening, I hope.

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          #5
          Re: Thinking of moving my family to Pakistan...

          Thanks waiting for your response.

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            #6
            Re: Thinking of moving my family to Pakistan...

            Thats exactly the reasons that me and my husband are moving back from states, to be with family. Thank you for the post Afia, it definitely made me feel better about our decision!
            They Didnít Know It Was Impossible, So They Did It!

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              #7
              Re: Thinking of moving my family to Pakistan...

              Sorry for taking so long.... I got busy with eid and other family stuff
              For some strange reason I kept getting signed off of GS when I tried posting a reply another day, though.
              I'd recommend doing a research on schools yourself.... As we did our own and ground realities were quite different from what we were told by different people prior to our arrival.
              One thing what I dearly missed after settling here, was not so good places to buy books. Thankfully my kids love to read and we have a big home library which kept expanding over the years but most websites I was used to buy books from, don't ship to Pak. I have now found some good local resources and a Lahore based store "readings" does cater to our needs but still we always feel there are not enough choices.

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                #8
                Re: Thinking of moving my family to Pakistan...

                ( I figured, posting shorter replies helps... Longer ones automatically get deleted, somehow)
                You are right about moving WITH your husband. If it is doable, then that's the best option of course! Life in Pakistan is a bit difficult for women like me who handle everything without their partner being here. It is not so safe to disclose that you are living without a male in family. Thankfully my eldest is a teenager now, and things are getting a bit easier. I have never had any male servants/ drivers etc for obvious reasons. Alhamdulillah I have no complaints but from experience I can tell you, it is not something I would recommend to anyone.
                In case, you need more info, feel free to contact me. I might, however, take time to reply as schools are about to reopen and I will get quite busier.

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                  #9
                  Re: Thinking of moving my family to Pakistan...

                  home is where your heart is and your heart is with your family. Can't stress how important extended family is to raising your children.

                  All the other stuff you mentioned like culture etc I think it's doable in UK or other countries but family connection is irreplaceable.
                  A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

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                    #10
                    Re: Thinking of moving my family to Pakistan...

                    Thank you so much Afia and Njgal.....that's true....we are almost 100% certain that we are moving back to Pakistan with HUBBY ... May Allah help us and make it easy for us....ameen

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