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**Gemini the Great** · Nov 21, 2011, 07:16 PM

Re: Clueless??

What to expect when you are expecting was my to go book for everything..they also have a website!!

N my advice will be be flexible n open minded.. I had this really to the point birth plan written n discussed with my midwife, I had about 36 hours of labor that ended with emergency c section...never n ever in my wildest dream I thought that could happen.

Breast feeding.. I have called hospital n spoke to the nurse crying hysterically because it hurt do bad.. My husband scheduled a private lactation consultant appt for me but then The hospital lc called n saw me on Sunday to help..once I got the latch on correctly it got better..I spent two nights crying with my baby because I kept taking him off while he was hungry.. I pumped but he didnt know how to Use bottle sonit was a disaster...Take breastfeeding class too, if possible or at least have that resource handy in case you need help.

And let me tell you To learn as much asossible..people say preganacy, breast feeding is all natural n it will all come to you.. say it's not, it's rocket science and you have to learn things to make your life easy.

**automne77** · Nov 21, 2011, 10:35 PM

Re: Clueless??

yes and nothing is set in stone, just because it has worked for one woman doesn't necessarily mean it will work for you. Expect to be irritated, tired, exhausted and convey that to your partner as well as other family members. IF and When ur kid goes to sleep try to sleep with them (although that is hard to do since all you want to do is stare at him/her but) force urself to go to sleep.

Don't wake up your kid to feed them, one smart nurse told me : When your kid is hungry they will let you know that they are hungry, a child knows hunger and conveys it. If you are afraid of bathing your child alone, have your partner help you or some other family member. You will discover what your child likes, what his/her cries mean, what their sleeping, feeding habits are and all you need to do is to go with the flow. Don't force yourself or your child. It will only make your life tough.

If you plan on breastfeeding, get a good breastfeeding cream. My suggestion (since this is your first baby) buy 2 -3 different brands of breast cream, I had a very very very tough time breastfeeding and we would be in different places looking for a different kind of cream every 3 days or so. One of them worked wonders for me finally.
TAke real good care of your diet and make sure you are not constipated, or have any other issues. Life can be tough taking care of a child while you yourself are having some medical issues.

Make sure lots of food is cooked and stored in your freezer, having food in my freezer was a life saver for me coz we didn't have to worry about what to cook, get and also my husband was able to support me better coz he wasn't cooking.

Hope the above helps.

**somegroovychick** · Nov 21, 2011, 11:55 PM

Re: Clueless??

lots of good advice here.

just to reinforce these two points again: breastfeeding and "mothering" is not natural; you have instincts but you also need to be taught some things and learn others on your own. you and your baby will both be new at this gig and its ok to cry a lot and ask for lots and lots of help if you need to.

and second, just because it worked for other women you know, doesn't mean it'll work for you. this could apply to anything- pumping, nursing, soothing your baby, etc. you will learn your baby's likes and dislikes as you go along.

and the most important thing to remember is- it does get better. there will be nights where both of you will be crying and you'll probably be wondering what the hell you signed up for, but it gets better. and when it gets better, its totally, completely and amazingly awesome. so hang in there! take it one day at a time. one of my bff's would email me every morning the first few weeks wishing me "Happy (day of the week)!". I found that such a support because though it was such a small gesture but it, and she, reminded me that i had made it through one more day without losing my mind and my baby was doing well Alhamdulillah, so now i just needed to make it through the next 24 hours.

**rabia3983** · Nov 22, 2011, 01:07 PM

Re: Clueless??

agree with everything the above ladies have told you. As Gemini the great said be open abt everything. I worked until the day before, and was over due wa 4days. we schld. to be induced the day after eid (8/31/2011...eid for some ppl.) I was in labor for 10 hours but the babies heart rate kept going down every time my contractions ll increase...i ended up having a c-section. I had mentally prepared myself to go either way and that really helped.
babycenter.com helped me the most. I read about everything before hand.

One things that i didn't prepare for was how to sleep train your baby. Big mistake. Anyways the baby whisperer is a great guide for that. The book also helps with how to handle different type of baby cry...how to tell a different btw them. etc
Good luck!

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