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    being away from ur kids....

    is this normal.....whenever someone else takes my 1yr old daughter out, even for an hour....i cant relax until shes not back in my sights.....it can be anyone...nana nani dada dadi etc....just feel the need to be with her...i dnt know how il be when i haveanother child and there will be times when she will be with someone else for a while, even few hours...

    i thought this feeling was only for the kids themselves who cant tear themselves away from mum once they start nursery....and here i am, feeling restless even when shes gone out with her khala for an hour.....weird no?

    #2
    Re: being away from ur kids....

    not weird....at least for me. Whenever I leave my son with my mom I always feel a little anxious. Its not that I don't trust my mom, I do more then anything but still I worry about him. I have no idea what I'm going to do once I go back to work

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      #3
      Re: being away from ur kids....

      i can relate! i'm not well today and so he's off with my folks until evening so i can rest up and hopefully feel better and i miss him
      but even if its all good and i leave him, i'm always wondering what he's doing and how he's doing and can't wait to get back to him. i don't even want to go back to work because i don't think i'll handle being away from him all day, 5 days a week!
      Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.
      - Nehru

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        #4
        Re: being away from ur kids....

        Originally posted by somegroovychick View Post
        i can relate! i'm not well today and so he's off with my folks until evening so i can rest up and hopefully feel better and i miss him
        but even if its all good and i leave him, i'm always wondering what he's doing and how he's doing and can't wait to get back to him. i don't even want to go back to work because i don't think i'll handle being away from him all day, 5 days a week!
        I start work in Feb and its really starting to bother me. I'm sure we'll both get used to it but the closer it gets the more worried I get

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          #5
          Re: being away from ur kids....

          I'd feel blessed if someone tried babysitting my kids. phew
          I'm quite illiterate, but I read a lot.

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            #6
            Re: being away from ur kids....

            I dont have those feelings...i leave my two and half month old baby with my mom everyday. I went back to work 7 weeks after having him and feel that i m blessed that i have my mom to take care of him. I miss him a lot during the day...and even go through his pictures on my computer...thn get back to work cuz i have to.

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              #7
              Re: being away from ur kids....

              You feel this way for an hour when shes with her khala in the neighborhood, imagine how your husband feels not being around his kid(s) for months in different continents.
              Last edited by Sara516; Nov 19, 2011, 06:52 AM.
              The grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

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                #8
                Re: being away from ur kids....

                For the ladies with kids...if you miss your kid so much after being away for a short period of time, how would you feel about longer periods of time...say a week at a time?

                I am not married yet, but my fiance wants to start trying for kids quite soon after marriage. I would like to have kids, but my one thing is that I love travelling and doing adventure sports. One huge thing I'm looking forward to doing after marriage is finally getting to travel with my husband, going on vacations to do things like intense hiking, camping trips, going scuba diving, desert treks, and so on. Things that would be very difficult to do with a baby - I'm not into Disney vacations. I was hoping to wait for a few years so that I could get to do these things before having a baby, but I may have some fertility issues so I think we're better off starting to try having kids right away. So if I luckily end up pregnant right away, I wonder how I can find balance and still do these things with having a child.

                I don't know how I could bring myself to be away from my future child..I'm extremely possessive. But at the same time if I don't get to travel to these places I don't want to feel resentment. My fiance and I have been together for 6 years and I've waited SOOOOO long for us to finally be married so that would could travel together and I don't want to lose that!

                I know his or my parents wouldn't mind babysitting, but would that make me a bad mother to be away from my child for a week and go on vacation? Would I even be able to leave my kid behind without feeling terrible?

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                  #9
                  Re: being away from ur kids....

                  ^ it would really depend on their age and how comfortable they are staying with grandparents. i think once they're a bit older like 2 and up, you could leave them for a week, but any younger would be harder. and who says you can't travel and try for a baby at the same time? you should definitely get as much of your adventure travelling out of the way as possible before the little ones come along.
                  Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.
                  - Nehru

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                    #10
                    Re: being away from ur kids....

                    I think it's pretty normal. As excited as I always get when someone else is watching her and I can have a little more freedom, I still feel anxious about her needs and routine.

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                      #11
                      Re: being away from ur kids....

                      sara- valid point. I never said i didnt understand how he would feel. of course i do. but in this situation, she has to be with her mother. as most kids do. and im her mother. yes, if she was older, say 5 and over, i may feel ok with letting her stay with her grandparents or of course the father, but as a baby, she stays with mum. and if he was the mother, then he would get that.

                      i say in most situations, men get alot of power/rights, over alot of things, be it our religion, or just in this unfortunate mans world culture, the one thing woman have over them is the right to their childrens upbringing first, and thats why he never made a issue of her being with me rather than him.

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                        #12
                        Re: being away from ur kids....

                        Originally posted by hareem01 View Post
                        I'd feel blessed if someone tried babysitting my kids. phew
                        This

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                          #13
                          Re: being away from ur kids....

                          I leave my daughter everyday with my mother as I need to go to work but knowing that I will see her in evening I don't really feel bad now may be I am used to it but sometimes I do. However , when I had to leave her with my mom for 2 weeks due to my business trip abroad I was missing her like anything in this world and I started missing her from the time I sat in air plane because then I knew that I would not be able to see her for next 2 weeks and oh God the next 2 weeks were difficult I think I was depressed the whole time the only activity I did apart from work was to shop for her I was not interested in going out or eating out nothing was fun without her It's not weird to feel what u feel only a mother's heart can feel that
                          Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity !

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                            #14
                            Re: being away from ur kids....

                            I used to leave mine with my husband and go to college.It was only a couple of hours,twice a week but I used to miss her for sure.I was more concerned about things like whether she will eat or sleep at the right time.
                            We have said a few times that we should leave her with my sister whenever she visits for a few hours and maybe go for a movie,just the two of us.It has never happened,not so far.I think it is normal to feel that way and there is nothing weird about it.I am not sure how this will sound to others but I used to leave her with my mom and go out a few times when I was visiting Pakistan last year.It was actually nice to go see friends and not worry about bottles and diapers for a few hours.And I am totally looking forward to doing it again soon Inshallah.
                            It's better to light a candle ,than to curse the darkness.

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                              #15
                              Re: being away from ur kids....

                              exactly.

                              as much as fathers do for their children, i know my husband does alot, but its not the same. there were times when i wouldcome back after shopping and ask him if she had ate or had milk and he would say `no she didnt want to drink/eat` or he would say he thought she just drank some so he didnt give any etc.....he wasnt as efficient....although of course he loves her as much as me......

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