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And that's when the fight started

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    And that's when the fight started

    I took my wife to a restaurant.

    The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

    "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
    He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
    "Nah, she can order for herself."

    And that's when the fight started.....

    _____________________________

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
    reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
    drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

    I asked her, "Do you know him?"
    "Yes", she sighed,
    "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
    right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
    hasn't been sober since."

    "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
    celebrating that long?"

    And then the fight started...

    ________________________________

    When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
    But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
    making beer.. Always something more important to me.

    Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
    When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
    scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
    the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
    I handed her a toothbrush.

    I said, "When you finish cutting the
    grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

    The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

    _____________________________

    My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
    She asked, "What's on TV?"
    I said, "Dust."

    And then the fight started...

    _______________________________

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

    I bought her a bathroom scale.

    And then the fight started......

    ______________________________


    My wife was standing, looking in the bedroom mirror.

    She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
    "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
    to pay me a compliment.'

    I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

    And then the fight started........

    ________________________________

    One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
    as a Christmas gift...

    The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
    When she asked me why, I replied,
    "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

    And that's how the fight started.

    #2
    Re: And that's when the fight started

    We should care for each other more than we care for ideas, or else we will end up killing each other.

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      #3
      Re: And that's when the fight started

      LOL...some good jokes here. Thanks for sharing.

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