Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Cash Point

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Cash Point

    NEW DRIVE-THRU CASHPOINTS

    Barclays bank is very pleased to inform you that we
    are installing new "Drive-thru" cash point machines
    where our customers will be able to withdraw cash
    without leaving their vehicles. To enable our
    customers to make full use of these new facilities,
    we have conducted intensive behavioural studies to
    come up with appropriate procedures for their use.

    Please read the procedures that apply to you and
    remember them for when you use our new machines for
    the first time.

    PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS:


    1. Drive up to the cash machine.

    2. Wind down your car window.

    3. Insert card and enter PIN.

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Wind up window.

    7. Drive off.

    PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:

    1. Drive up to cash machine.

    2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash machine.

    3. Re-start the stalled engine.

    4. Wind down the window.

    5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat and locate card.

    6. Turn the radio down.

    7. Attempt to insert card into machine.

    8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to it's excessive distance from the car.

    9. Insert card.

    10. After "Invalid Card" is displayed, remove the aforementioned
    "Marks & Spencer's" Charge card and insert correct cash point card,

    11. Remove cash point card.

    12. Re-insert cash point card the right way up.

    13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

    14. Enter PIN.

    15. Press "Cancel" and enter correct PIN.

    16. Enter amount of cash required.

    17. Check make-up in rear view mirror.

    18. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    19. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

    20. Place receipt in back of cheque book.

    21. Re-check make-up.

    22. Drive forward 2 metres.

    23. Reverse back to cash machine. Wave to exasperated male customer in car behind.

    24. Retrieve card.

    25. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

    26. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

    27. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

    28. Release handbrake.

    #2
    Re: Cash Point



    Lagta hai aaj kul bhabhi nay buhat tang kar kay rakha hua hai. Chai bhi, maloom parta hai, pheeki bananay lagee hain. Ehsan bhai, sudhar jayein. Ab nahin to phir kub? Aakhir burhapay ki bhi eik umar hoti hai.

    :biggthumb

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Cash Point

      Originally posted by dhobi_bhai


      Lagta hai aaj kul bhabhi nay buhat tang kar kay rakha hua hai. Chai bhi, maloom parta hai, pheeki bananay lagee hain. Ehsan bhai, sudhar jayein. Ab nahin to phir kub? Aakhir burhapay ki bhi eik umar hoti hai.

      :biggthumb
      Bhabhi mat kaho na...
      Chachi kaho...
      Its 5-0-1 in worldcup.
      Its good to be world champions again.
      And we though Aussies were invincible.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Cash Point

        he has a funny bone.
        blind faith = blind followers

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Cash Point

          yea hhe is funny

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Cash Point

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Cash Point

              jhoot hai yeh jhoot hai

              PS.
              The best loved by God are those that are rich, yet have the humility of the poor, and those that are poor and have the magnanimity of the rich.

              Saadi Sherazi

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Cash Point

                I only check my make up once,

                Before applying it all over again i-e.
                I hate both men and women, and am afraid of animals, so basically I am very very lonely.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Cash Point

                  ..Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.. ~IK~

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Cash Point

                    ehsan bhai u are correct, ladies handbags are like umro ayyar ki zambeel, everything is in there, but whereas he could find anything very quickly, ladies have to empty the whole thing.

                    A most amusing scene is when some lady's cell phone rings and it is in her purse, the mad dash to get to the phone, thru all the mazes and nooks and crannies of the purse, before teh call goes to voicemail is amusing and scary at the same time, wonder how safe that would be if such ladies need to get to their phone while driving
                    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Cash Point

                      so true!

                      suggestion - between steps 3 and 4, : Put the car on neutral or park


                      I break out a sweat whenever I am behind a woman driver. you never know when they are going to reverse, turn left or right. They put the blinker on AFTER they have started turning or changing lanes, as if it is a ritual necessary to complete the move rather than warning the other cars. In ATM drive-ins they simply engage brakes instead of changing gear.

                      But mostly they're just nervous with machines and driving through confined spaces. Once I honked at a woman driving too slow in front of me and when I passed her, she looked so scared I swore I WILL NEVER honk again

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Cash Point

                        لا عيش إلا عيش الآخرة
                        BROTHERS NOT SLAVES. Regain Respect

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Cash Point

                          You have too much time on your hands to post this.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Cash Point

                            ^ lol he's gonna fire you for saying that..and you JUST got the job.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Cash Point

                              If you have something to say, raise your hand and put it over your mouth.
                              A face can say many things. Especially the mouth part.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X