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Just some stuff...

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    Just some stuff...

    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

    The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

    The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

    The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

    The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

    The little girl replied, "Then you ask him"
    A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled
    down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem,
    "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am
    pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations.
    What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
    He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that
    drivers' license."
    The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman,
    "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smartass when he's drunk
    and stoned."
    The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get
    far in a stolen car!"
    At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled
    voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
    Once there was a man moving to Florida from Illinois. His wife would meet him there the next day. He sent her an e-mail but spelled the address wrong and ended up going to an old lady whos husband recently had passed away. The lady read the message and after fell on the floor dead. The message read
    Dearest Wife,
    I just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
    P.S. Sure is hot down here.
    (No offence intended to anyone)
    There was a Japanese man, a Chinese man and a hillbilly in a sanua naked. All of a sudden something started beeping. The Japanese man looked at his forearm and said, "That was my pager, i have a microchip in my arm." A few minutes later something started ringing the chinese man picked up his hand and started talking to it. He pressed something and said" that was my cell phone, i have a microchip in my hand." Well the hillbilly felt stupid since he didnt have a microchip anywhere on him. He got up and went to the bathroom.A few minutes later came back in the room with a peice of toilet paper between his butt cheeks and said" Oh, would you look at that, im getting a fax!"
    There were 3 guys, 1 smart, one medium, and one stupid. then they were all captured by Indians. The chief said that they were gonna make canoes out of the 3 guys. they all have last requests. Smart: Grabs a gun and runs away. Medium: Grabs a knife and runs away. Stupid: Grabs a fork and starts poking himself. he says: Haha! Now you have holes in your canoe!
    Mirrors don't talk. Lucky for you, they don't laugh either.