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4 those who r plannin 2 Travel :D

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    4 those who r plannin 2 Travel :D

    Lufthansa Airlines

    Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the
    captain :"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we
    have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the
    ocean".

    The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but
    were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.

    "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an
    emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that
    all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the
    swimmers are on the right side of the plane after this announcement
    all the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's
    request.

    Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The
    captain once again made an announcement:

    "Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the
    swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and
    quickly swim away from the plane.

    For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... -Thank You
    For Flying Lufthansa- ".

    British Airways

    "This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to
    welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London.
    We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the
    Atlantic."

    "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the
    aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.

    "If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that
    the port wing has fallen off."

    "If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little
    yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your
    captain, the co-pilot , and one of the air stewardesses. This is a
    recorded message."

    Delta Airlines

    At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding
    announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address
    system saying,
    "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will
    board from Gate 41."

    So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.

    Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570
    would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our
    carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.

    Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke
    "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."


    I said na

    #2


    first one was cool

    While rest of the world was busy mating I was Moderating Cafe and lost my jawani.

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      #3
      ^ second one was cooler
      Mere junoon ka na lo imtihaan,
      Jaanan

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        #4
        Heared them all before, but still funny.
        The Pakistani Brain of the Austria (formerly known as "The Pakistani Brain of UAE")

        Comment


          #5
          Seema Bha-T-G, if you don't mind, please lemme add one more here:
          • AIR INDIA

            Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (Sharma) welcoming you on board of Air India flight 126 to New Delhi. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery.

            Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. If luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village ! Air India has an excellent safety record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us ! It is with pleasure, I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!

            To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits! For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God !

            We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Indian Airlines, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window. There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

            Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your set-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat ... and for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."

            ENJOY AIR INDIA ! Dhanaywad…

            AI = Arrival Indefinite



          Comment


            #6
            Goyan keshk aqbat taskeen ast...Awal shor ast aqbat namkeen ast
            Har chanz aasiyat sang zeerey...Ee surat-e-beqrar barbin ast

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              #7
              i think i should write one up for PIA
              Disclemer: I mispel al i watn

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                #8
                *c h a m k e e l i * a n k h e i n*

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                  #9
                  ....
                  "Hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold urs "

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                    #10

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                      #11


                      -*n|do*-

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                        #12
                        Life is like cotton- Don't make it heavier by sinking it in Water of Sorrow, but make it lighter by letting it blow in the Wind of Joy!!!

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                          #13

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