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Fathers and Daughters

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    Fathers and Daughters

    What is the relationship?

    Hmm. Thats a good one K. Very interesting topic.

    I think its similar to mother and sons. I am the second son. I have no sisters. I know my dad would have liked a daughter, perhaps more than my mum. I can give an example from my mum's side. She had five brothers and a sister. The brother's were always told off for being cheeky when they were young, but nothing was said to my mum or my Halaa.

    I can guess that if I had a sister than me and my brother would have got less attention from our Dad, however our mum wouldn't have that difference. Thats just from my perspective. I could be wrong.

    Hypothetically speaking (as I am only 20) If I was a father it would not bother me whether I have son(s) or daughter(s). I would probably treat them as individuals rather than spoiling a child of one gender or making ridiculous rules etc.


      Dear KGirl

      My contribution to this thread is very non-academic and is purely my personal thoughts on this issue.

      I always wanted to have a daughter, but ended up with 2 monkeys instead. I love my boys but sometimes I do feel that something is not quiet complete and the void is perhaps an absence of a female (other than my wife) in the house. In addition to keeping my boys in line, she will also bring some sensibility to this otherwise insensible 3-p (a censor-able term) household.

      Subconsciously I have always been made to think (growing up with sisters) that girls are a lot smarter than the boys. My older sister always acted as a "supervisor" when we were young and that has a lot to do with my perception of women. Additionally, seeing how women are treated in my extended family and to a large extent in the society, always bothered me. The radical I am, a part of me wanted to have a girl, so I could raise her to be another radical. I know this is a wrong reason for wanting to have kids. I am just being honest.

      I guess, if I had a daughter, I would have the same relationship with her as I have with my boys. Just a little, itsy bitsy, extra special one.


        [Yazoo raises his eye-brows]

        There you go - I was right.


          There is more investment in boys in terms of education or anything.

          Even inside the family, better looking girls get pampered. One of my relatives told me that she is reminded so many times that she is the darkest girls in the family.

          This all talk of girl being life of family disappears when girls try to take any of their own decision, particularly marriage (marrying someone whom family does not approve solely because of caste/religion problems or not marrying someone whom family approves). Then suddenly prestige of family poses problems.

          It is not easy to be a girl in India. If she is good looking, smart enough to get to graduation, she can hope to find a sensible husband and live good life. Things can go wrong at any point and there is no return.


            Well in my house, me and my Dad gang up on my Mom.. just to joke around with her. We're partners in crime so to say, he and I do alot of things together and get along really well. I don't know if that's because we have a father-daughter relationship that creates that bond, or more because we are very similar in personality.

            I think all Dads love their girls in a special way. They want to protect them from all the evils of the world and only want the best for them. I find my Dad would do anything to keep me from being troubled, and when I'm upset, I know he would do all he could to make it better.

            What I don't know is if whether he feels this way because I'm a girl, or because I'm his child. I suspect that if I had a brother he wouldn't treat him exactly the same way, but not totally different either. I think my Dad would want the best for his sons too, if he had any, but he wouldn't go to the same lengths to protect them as he does with me and my sister. At the same time, he would do all that he could for any of his children by means of providing education and other opportunities.

            [This message has been edited by Nusaiybah (edited May 20, 1999).]


              I would agree that fathers see their relationships with their daughter as special and different…

              For a daughter her father is the most important male in her life until she gets into a relationship. Also a friend once told me that little girls wrap their fathers totally around their fingers. Girls can get away with a lot more with their fathers…usually. They are often as ZZ stated indulged and given favorite status in the family as long as they remain within the limits placed .. though I think that is for anyone boy or girl in the family.

              As for myself…my father and I had a very close relationship…I can speak to him about anything and trust his opinion/advice as the best for me….while he usually allows me the freedom to decide on my own. Though as I age….the relationship has changed.


                I think you are right K. Daughters most likely get away with things. My Mum definately did.



                  What a profound choice of wording.


                    Relationship=U & Me!


                      Really? Theres such thing called as father-daughter relationship? Wow. That's newz to me.


                        There are four girls in my family, and our father is usually trying to get away from us.


                          lol Kiran:
                          That is the big mistake your father is making.
                          This is a great topic (I really meant it). How come I could not see this topic before?
                          Any how, thanks Kashmirigirl, for bringing something up which really needs to be discussed.
                          Fathers who are running away from their daughter are not doing any good. Father needs to have very trustworthy and openly discussing type relationship with his kids under some limits. Father should not scare the daughter away but he should have a type of personality where daughter should consider him as his friend rather than the head of the house. Father should keep the house environment in such a way where daughter feel listened, comfortable and an important figure of the household.


                            Fathers & daughters ..... - I can relate to that ..... being the jealous left out son -LOL... - I think dad's want the best for their daughters .... - particularly with cultural cliche...... - she'll be gone after marriage ( I think its usually the son's who disappear ) - Nonthless, they usully fuss over their little gals .... and are quite skeptical of the son -in-law - IN our case the poor chap had a grueling 6 month interview before dad consented - and he was a distant third cousin LOL .... lucky for him that they hit it off real well...

                            As for the daughters - well the take advantage of fathers and older brothers anyway They have this natural gift that only ammi can see thru .... - or the husband
                            can tame or suffer thru

                            Well what the heck if u only have one sibling - indulge them ....