Leaving of Stud and the Dictatorial Rules of Guppshupp

[NYAhmadiX]

I read Stud's post that he is leaving. My question is "why"? He is a very valuable and contributing member of this forum. What led to his decision to leave? The Guppshup has a corss-section of Pakistani people, and just like any place, people have different points of view about certain issues. Pakistanis spread all over the world participate here. It is only natural that their views are not similar to (although not in all cases) those who live in Pakistan. This is a reality and we must accept it as such.

Another trend I have noticed here is that religion is so "sensitive" for some to talk about. If you cannot accept the fact that people have different paradigms to view religions from, don't have a forum called religion. Same goes for Politics. Many participants just blindly believe that "theirs" is the only one that is true. They could not be mistaken more! If they so single-mindedly believe in their faith, then why bother discussing it?

As long as participants refrain from using foul language, there is no reason for them to be disbarred or locked out, or made to leave. I don't know what the story is in Stud's case, but I believe that an unbreathable environment was created that made him decide to leave.

Are there any rules regarding the behavior of moderators on this forum? I hope that the same rules apply to them as they do to others. Views of some of the moderators (only a minority) leaves one puzzled about the narrowmindedness of some on this medium that is open to the world. But that's OK, because they represent a good proportion of the Pakistani population: ignorant.

[ChannMahi]

NYA, I wrote a reply to your post and then did not dare to post it. It is getting so easy on this site to get involved your self into mess when even your friends don't try to understand you. Everything has to be politically correct. Hard to do when you are talking with the people you feel comfortable with.

CM http://www.pak.org/gupshup/frown.gif

PS: Do I backoff when a woman says NO? heck, I have backed off many times even when woman said YES....

[BoSS]

Hi NY Ahmadi sahib,

I read your post and it has some very interesting words...
"why" is Stud leaving---I think the best person to answer this question is Stud himself. It is an open forum and members can discuss with each other on variety of topics as long as they know their boundries. The word "boundries" is what we don't wanna understand. It gives us a feeling of being "bound". People preach about freedom of speach but how can this law be practiced if you are invading someone elses privacy by not comprehending your limits. "This law is vague". If you talk about freedom..I think Pakistan is the only country where we have freedom, where people don't respect law, where you can bribe your way out of anything, where you can dictate your freedom on Ak 47. On the other hand we have countries like great Amreeka which is respected by everyone...whose moto is "Freedom of speech" and they put you behind the bars if you "BREAK ANY LAW". The decision is in your hands...which freedom you prefer to live with.

Your last paragraph is also very interesting and keeping in mind that moderators are also humans...you should have supported your comments with examples.

Chan sahib your attitude is not gonna help resolve such issues....writing such "politically correct" statements are unfair with everyone.

ciao,
BoSS

[NaikLarki]

Chan Ji **AND I AM NOT SAYING SIR HERE**
Backing off when a woman says yes.....is stupidity ...

Pk.... http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/ok.gif Zindagi meiN pehli baar aqal ki baat ki tum nay ....Now I am Proud Of u....



[This message has been edited by NaikLarki (edited November 30, 2000).]

[ChannMahi]

NO Naik jee, it is called wiseness when you are in a situation like mine and NYAhmadi's

[ghalib]

is there such a word as "wiseness"?? hmmmm.

[ChannMahi]

"samajhdaari"........would been better choice.

[PeerSIMMS]

Baba ji GUZARA KAROW!!!

[Imranz]

As far as I have been able to track this issue of Stud & Ironman leaving, I have come to the conclusion that there could have been things done on both sides for gupshuppers to decide for themselves if banning was the right thing to do, even though the administrators of this web site have every right to ask participants to follow certain rules & regulations. Aadab O Tehzeeb shouldn't come off when we initiate or respond to messages. Broad-mindness and benefit of doubt can go longer than admonishment and censorship..

And how they say: "u catch more flies with honey than vinegar"

[This message has been edited by Imranz (edited May 24, 1999).]

[nadia21]

hmmmmm seems like everything one posts up these days is being criticized ........
there is one reason i like this place and that is there is
no foul language

other then that
ppl argue,
discuss,
heat up at others comments only to be friends again
flirt
have fun

then why is all this happening i dont understand just cause someone has an itch .....big deal

nya ur talking about religion try going to marriage dept over there u cant talk about anything ......in every thread there is a message posted up by muzna ........
i say if we arent allowed to discuss then why the hell was the forum posted up in the first place .......
....wont say much i know ppl here have power.
dont wanna get into trouble

[JAK]

I dont really know what is the story behind all this banning etc. But i would only like to add that when you enters someones house, even to your most dear friend, you will always follow the rules of that house, you will sit, speak, eat etc in a manner which is not at all offensive to your host and in accordance with their rules / living.

I consider this forum like that house, though i dont really know its structure but definitely there are people who has created this forum and now maintaining / operating it, so there is no big harm if we just follow the established rules and enjoy.

[Mr Fraudia]

In my view the purpose of those forums besides information exchange is to have debates, and to address differences
and hope that somewhere in the process we become more educated and tolerant. However, there are ways to address the differences, there is a need for any of these discussions to be held in a civilized manner.

You mentioned ignorance as a vice of desis, but you forgot to mention intolerance and finger pointing, as well as complete and utter disregard and disrespect for others and their viewpoints, which is why the debates in some forums are bubbling over with negativity.

Freedom of speech, .. very good concept. If it is handled responsibly otherwise censor boards get to you.. true here, true everywhere else.

On a personal note, I could care less who is saying what. It does not affect me and I ignore the person, their existence being inconsequential to me.

being decent and mature is just a civilized thing to do.

Yeah honey catches more flies than vinegar.

I dont like flies.


[This message has been edited by Fraudz (edited May 25, 1999).]

[This message has been edited by Fraudz (edited May 25, 1999).]

[kashmirigirl]

As a member…I remember basically ignoring the rough arguments that occurred in the forums. After all….it wasn't my responsibility. What I did do was put out my point of view and justify it. I remember one of the initial times that I was seriously offended by a remark made by another member, early in my membership. Granted I've heard worse lately but at that time for me it was a surprise. It took me awhile to sit back…relax and realize, IT is not personal. The attack/argument is the argument…my view point whatever…if I'm willing to put it out there than I'd better be ready to defend it or accept when someone trounces me.

As a moderator it has become very difficult to avoid the arguments. I feel responsible for other members, and often will get an email by people who are upset at how someone has said to them I have to try and act as a mediator…or hopefully divert arguments… …particularly when people are already heated up.. A skill that I'm not sure I'm the best in…yet. This also has definitely become more difficult as the membership has increased as well as diversified. In addition, there are still certain standards of debate that people normally should follow…however, not all do that.

What I then need to accept is that though I may not take it personally….many do. It is awareness to how important peoples statements, issues and arguments are to them that helps deal with their response. Not only for me but also for the others members.

Now accepting how important arguments become and how much people gain from the forum……creating an environment where people feel comfortable responding is very important. Of course…I agree there is a fine line between censorship and political correct comfortablitly. However, this seems to be the best route that I know of.


[This message has been edited by kashmirigirl (edited May 25, 1999).]

[Nationalist]

I am not a regular here because I have a life unlike most of you who has nothing else to do .

I don't know what stud had written and I had not read much of his posts. So I am not going to pass my judgment on him (Good or bad)

However I do remember a bunch of big mouths, dirthy tongue, uncivilized, fools who thought using cussing made them look cool from wayyyy back. I remember this place used to be worse than a jungle. A few morons used to cuss everybody that came their way. Mothers, sisters, grand parents, families, no one was spared. Due to these few dirthy mouth cocrouchs this forum lost several of its valuable and intelligent members who didn't want to be cussed. To make it short this forum was not a place for any civilized and respectable person. after losing several nice and active member I guess the admins came to their senses and started the censorship thing. I know a lot of times they act like stuck up and are too hard in their implimentation of the rules and they do need to relax a lil but I will preffer Marshalaw on this Board rather than allowing the low lives to take control of this place again and cuss and harass everyone.

So if Stud was a pesron with a balance in his posts and not too eager to act cool by cussing than its a loss for the forum. However if he was one of those low lives who used to cuss everyone here than I will say
" Khuss Kam Jahan Pak "

Again I am not making judgment here..as I have not read his posts and I don't come here regularly. But those of you who are regulars here and have read his posts can decide which category he falls in.


[This message has been edited by Nationalist (edited May 26, 1999).]