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**Nibss** · Feb 19, 2003, 10:08 PM

yar aik line ka sawal or pura mazmoon likh dala

**PyariCgudia** · Feb 19, 2003, 10:16 PM

Well, I dont know if I can read your whole post in urdu in english script,

but...

all I can say is that choosing a girl is not analagous to chosing the best flank of meat at a butcher's.

Its easier not to have a list made out of what you expect from a girl...we dont come ready-made from factories - we're human too...just try talking to the girl and getting to know her...

You'll know if you want to marry her.

**schahzad** · Feb 19, 2003, 10:23 PM

Originally posted by PyariCgudia:
Well, I dont know if I can read your whole post in urdu in english script,

but...

all I can say is that choosing a girl is not analagous to chosing the best flank of meat at a butcher's.

Its easier not to have a list made out of what you expect from a girl...we dont come ready-made from factories - we're human too...just try talking to the girl and getting to know her...

You'll know if you want to marry her.

informative.but i cant see any possibility to talk to that muhatrima.??? otherwise atleast i know that much "simple" soultion.

**sabah** · Feb 20, 2003, 04:23 AM

Abi shadi mat karo, masla hi khatam.

Ad 1) It's important that your family know where you are, lekin they don't need to know your unix commands.
Ad 2) Your profession is important and great if it's your soul / obsession etc. Lekin you should also learn to accept the idea that for others it's just another profession.
Ad 3) If you know your family you'd know what's important for them. Like for some zaat paat is important, so they might not consider other factors etc.

About the girl, grab a pen and paper and write down all 'Must have' and 'nice to have' qualities in your future wife. Realistic or not that's is your idea of your partner. Stick to it for as long as you can and modify / update it as you learn more about your self and life in general.

>>Its painful for me ke only one relation i am goging to have and even that shahzady doesnt know what i do.<<

Meaning, you don't know what you want, tau wait. Bahir niklo duniya dekho aur samjho, logoN ko samjho phir decide karo. Tell your family to stop searching for some time.

**Kareem** · Feb 20, 2003, 05:10 AM

Then select a boy.

**Poodenay_Ki_Chutney** · Feb 20, 2003, 06:02 AM

^ not everyone is ambidextrous like u Kareem.

**google** · Feb 20, 2003, 06:47 AM

Question about girl
1:Is it important to meet and observe the girl before marrying
yeah. But not always

2:how u would select girl
a:by observing ur nature
b:ideal
c:ur own way (plz define)
I will try to understand her and vise versa

3:What if ur profession matters too much for u and ur wife is completly out of it
No big deal. If I am as obsessed as you about my work..I would definitely marry someone who is out of it.

**schahzad** · Feb 20, 2003, 12:08 PM

Originally posted by sabah:

Meaning, you don't know what you want, tau wait. Bahir niklo duniya dekho aur samjho, logoN ko samjho phir decide karo. Tell your family to stop searching for some time.

Sabah baji merey gur mein rooti pukney lugi gi.Janey dein yeh tu pakistan govt ke 5 year plan hey jo aaj tuk khabi nahi hoa.what if you come here aur app ko chaeye buna ke deney wal bhi koi na hoo.

**Gadha** · Feb 20, 2003, 12:47 PM

Originally posted by schahzad:

Sabah baji merey gur mein rooti pukney lugi gi.Janey dein yeh tu pakistan govt ke 5 year plan hey jo aaj tuk khabi nahi hoa.what if you come here aur app ko chaeye buna ke deney wal bhi koi na hoo.

yaar sirf chaaey

?

main nay tau pataa nahin kiyaa kiyaa plan banaaey huvay hain

**SaadiaB** · Feb 20, 2003, 01:23 PM

Bhai, what you write is very confusing for me to read and understand but anyhow its very simple!!

1.) Have you tried contacting the girl directly with approvel of her parents that is. We are living in the 20 th century and not in the Elisabethain time, where there were no means of communications other then face to face.

2.) As a male, living in a male dominating society, you should take the first step and meet or contact ur potential partner, to start a 'normal conversation' with her. Best is at the beginning, on the phone or email, afterwards you can talk to her personally. (seeing it from ur view) Talk about normal things, like ask her about her day, what are her hobbies, work ect... Show interest and be polite.

3.) After the normal first round, go on to some deep conversation, regarding your / her expatations in your future life. Tell her things that you like and dislike, listen to her and give her time to explain her view point, don't get harsh or mad if u don't like soemthing she says, be humble and polite to her ALLWAYs.

4.) Then when you guys see that you two match eachother and feel comfortable in eachothers sour*****ngs, and some kinds of feelings are developing, like you are waiting for her call and she waits for your calls, you think of her and she think of you .... then congratulations you have hit on the right nail ..

I mean then go ahead, rest in in God's hands.. A marriage is never perfect, both need to work hard, if willing it is a wonderful experience of life.

**Aati** · Feb 20, 2003, 01:51 PM

I just dont get this 'arrange marriage' idea :yukh:

How can you just marry someone like that .. its like buying grocery

what a shame!

**schahzad** · Feb 20, 2003, 02:03 PM

Saadia behen ji we are defniatly living in 20th centru but those girls are living in Cheecha watni ( a small city near burewala) All above thing isnt possible.

Yar i can guess ke what are common ways to solve this issue.But those are not aplicable please try to understand other on one want to discuiss such things in public.at least if i have open it up it mean there is some serious problem.I dont have any girl to recomend to my family .So they are looking their self.My family dont know what i do.They are looking for a girl according to some tradtional standerds like in pakistan mostly people do.But no one is trying to understand that previous 12 years i have lived a completly abnormal life.Us mein if i have a girl who like my cousine have problems of shopping or blah blah tu mein us ka achaar daloon ga.Ghar ka kaam kerney ke liey servant, mein sar din office mein aur biwi sara din bazar.Yeh ho ga bus.what is already happeing in our family.

Thats why i figure out at some stage i have to take a bold step, to refuse to some places.

Sabha baji's tajweez is very good.I have note down things.

1: the girl should not be like gusey wali in any cost like sabha baji .I mean gussey wali bilkul nahi chaley gi.

2: She must be educated enough to deal with some abnormal situation "akuser jo muje doorey pertey hein" Just like Sabha baji. Her situation ko handel kerna she knows very well

3:If she is of computer sciene it would be good, she can think and be more comfortable with me.At least she can guess what in stat of mind her husband is. (Need discussion may be i am wrong)

4:She should be acceptable by look.(most difficult for me to define) I mean simply she should be attractive. (here normally punjab's tradtional marriage wont work,)

5:She should belong to relegious envionment , mod scod or advance girls are out of question.

Phoopo told me once about a girl that she liked tha girl , suney zara

" Larki bus theek hey , pari likhi hey , leken un ki family political humarey level ki hey un ke ghar farish acha buna hoa tha "

Bhar mein gai politics aur power aur ghar ka farish mein shadi ker raha hoon ya election lur raha hoon kamal hey.Aur app loogn zara bhi serious nahi yar sub muje pagal sumj rahey hein

**schahzad** · Feb 20, 2003, 02:04 PM

Originally posted by Aatif:
I just dont get this 'arrange marriage' idea :yukh:

How can you just marry someone like that .. its like buying grocery

what a shame!

Exactly.Leken Pakistan mein reh ke aur kia kerien yeh bhi tu irshad kerien.

Aietraz kerna sub jantey hein soultion deney pe kia musla hay.

**schahzad** · Feb 20, 2003, 02:05 PM

Originally posted by Gadha:
yaar sirf chaaey

?

main nay tau pataa nahin kiyaa kiyaa plan banaaey huvay hain

Buzergoo app tashreef tu laien, Bundey ki jaan hazir hey.Mahiwal ne sohni ko apni raan ke goshat ke kawab buna ke khila deiey they app jo hukum kerien gey hazir ker dein

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