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Sex education.

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    Sex education.

    Who should do it? mom, pop, big sis/bro…..guy on the corner.
    When should it be done? The night b4 your wedding?
    Why should it be done?
    How much should be explained….and what tone? Just the scientific facts or …when you love someone, etc., etc.?

    I do believe there should be some parental involvment but I can't even watch a couple kiss on TV in front of Momz without feeling wierd!

    I just picked up info here and there..I'm actually curious to hear what others have gone through.

    It is definately needed in our culture...for a culture that could win Olympic medals in procreation we sure are shy about discussing SEX.


      good question.....

      Parents should have the talk about the birds and the bees because they're the ones who know what social and moral values they want their kids to associate with sexuality.

      i learned from the guy on the corner!!!


        perhaps the question should be repharsed as
        "how will our kids learn about it?"


          By the time u deem it correst to open up to ur child .... i am sure he would've had a lot of education ...... and by who other than that guy in the corner .... smokin cigars


            Kids born & raised here will eventually want to hang out with their friends, party, go out on dates and generally do what teenage kids like to do. And, oh yeah - they might also get into sex.
            1)How should parents deal with these issues ?2)Parents cannot isolate their children from mainstream or force them to Islamic schools & Islamic friends; Most think that #2 is the solution?
            3)Couple of readers mentioned about sex education. So, how do parents proceed with sex education for teenagers. In a western society - the kids are going to be exposed to sex whether we like it or not! And, pre-marital sex is a no-no!
            4)The answers has to be found in keeping with Islamic values; how have the community in UK, which is much older than North American, deals with this issue?
            Any inputs would be appreciated!


              KashmiriGirl : How did you learn about it ?
              The point is that you already know the answer.

              Later on


                zman…I may not be happy with the way I learned about it.

                Abdulmalik…kids raised here will do…?
                That is a very misguided generalization…what goes on here, goes on in Pakistan…just not as openly. Kids won’t do it here or there…if raised with the right values.


                  Whats wrong with good ol mens room walls ....and guys around the corner..
                  But seriously , you've asked too many questions , about a very serious and important topic, each one of which merits a seperate thread...specially in the presence of rampant sexual abuse of kids in our culture..
                  I will try to come back , and put in my two annas....


                    I was lucky and had a very loving and honest mother tell me some of the facts - and for the things she didn't tell me, she gave me a book to read. A nice, factual straightforward book. My husband had to find out for himself. I have spoken about this to my children, obviously in a way that is suitable to the age of each one. I try to never tell them something that is untrue, to give them an honest answer in language they can understand. I want them to know that if they need to know something they can come to me and get an honest answer, so they needn't go to anybody else.

                    I think it is essential that parents teach their own children for several reasons:

                    Sex is not "dirty" or shameful. In itself it is God-given and a pretty marvellous phenomenen. I want my children to learn that it has its own right place in their lives.

                    Sex itself as we see it today is valueless. I want my children to learn that there ARE values connected with it. That it is not cheap "do it as you please" but that it brings with it certain obligations and responsibilities. The sex act can be wonderful, tender, joyous if it takes place in the right circumstances - with someone you are married to and has made a commitment to you. Someone you can communicate with on several levels and who shares your basic values. Not something to be done in fear or knwing it is wrong. It would be a real shame to shortchange yourself!

                    I also want them to know that there can be real consequences: not just veneral diseases and HIV but also that there is a chance that they and the other person will get emotionally involved, energy being directed to wrong way when it's really better to have other priorities, and of course, children! And children have a right to be born into a family who can take care of them and bring them up properly.

                    No, I don't stress overly the religious aspect, because my relatives and husband's relatives stuff religious morality down their throats and there is no doubt that they realise very well that there is a definite religious "no" regarding pre-marital sex.



                      I have discussed this topic sometime ago with
                      our local imam and he told me that there is
                      no such thing as "sex education" in Islam but
                      "matrimonial education" since there should
                      not be any relationship between male and female before marriage (sex).

                      He advised me that the most important thing
                      is to teach our children to protect themselves, (parda) not to expose their
                      body parts to anybody because it is a big
                      sin even when they are among their own sexes.
                      The above also apply to male.
                      Do not let them watch indecent material books
                      or tv programs and if it come accross then
                      tell them that this is wrong (haram) and big

                      When they are near the age of 18 or whenever
                      they start to ask questions do not go directly in details but to give them Islamic books to read about male/female relationship
                      and gradually they will come to understand.

                      I dont think any child or teenage will ask
                      how to do it or when to do it because most
                      of us know that this is allowed only after
                      marriage so no need to worry about these.

                      When the marriage times come, there will always be nice and knowledgeable person telling you what to do so you dont need to
                      worry about it too much.

                      Above are just some of the views that I remember, please forgive spelling mistakes.




                        Would you be kind enough to share the title of that book with us here!?


                          I think the parents should get involved and tell brief about it to the kids. since they are going to be influenced by other kids of their own age and we humans try to copy our own age group unconsciously and we feel like doing the same as the other kids are doing. If well informed the kids can use protection and also avoid the situation better since they will be informed in prior of this.
                          also they should be told about pregnencies and responsibleties attached to it.

                          mujhe teer se na maro
                          mujhe talwar se na maro
                          mein kud mar jao ga
                          zara aankh to maro

                          repeat after me if you can
                          IM iz D iron man

                          The new desi rapp star IRON MAN Inc Corp.LLC.Intl


                            Mo.. Ali,

                            ..."sex education" does not mean the how/when/where/why/who of intercourse!

                            It it the overall concept of understanding human sexuality so that kids understand that when they have "feelings" that it is normal. To push off any real discussion of the subject and just tell kids to stay away from the opposite sex until marriage is not practical...especially in US.

                   adults will be around each other in school/neigborhood/ the real world a better answer than...wait till you get married is needed.

                            [This message has been edited by ak (edited April 28, 1999).]


                              hahaha this reminds me I was watching tv last year and they had this show on puberty. HAHAHAHAHAHAH oh.. I have to catch my breath. Ok it was in cartoon, and this kid was on the diving board and his "friend" started growing bigger, and the cartoon guys face came with a smile. Then they showed a girl and she was on the diving board and her "two friends " started to grow.

                              I DESERVE A EDIT POST ON THIS.. so you might as well do it.. well I learned about sex from that one hour show..