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Attending a Desi/American wedding!!

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    Attending a Desi/American wedding!!

    I have gotten the invitation to attend a wedding of a desi sister whose family and my family know each other for many generations. Girls family is a Sikh family and guy is a Mexican American. Both are doctors and doing their internship. The wedding is going to be in a Christian Church and according to Christian customs.

    This will be the first time I am attending a wedding between a mixed couple and hat too in a Church. I don't know how to behave and what to expect during this wedding. Any suggestions?

    Also, looks like lot of new generation kids are going to go into to inter-racial marriages. How are we, Desis, going to keep our ethnic identities? Or is it going to be a big confusion in another 50 years about who is what OR it won't matter at all who is what?

    How do you feel about it?


    I don't know about the interracial stuff but I sure can tell you how the wedding take place in a church.

    First of all, they might be expecting you to go their with your wife or date but it is not necessary though.
    Second, when you reach there, some one will be over there from the guy's side on the door to say you welcome and two girls holding your arms will escort you to the hall. Two guys will escort your wife or date to the hall.
    In the hall the first rows are usually for the family members. Guests are expected to be there in time.
    Making my story short
    After some time the girl's father will escort his daughter to the dice area. After that there would be the religious ceremoney along with some speaches. After the religious and speach part is done. The groom and bride go to each and every person in the hall and say them thank and usually bride hugs the male guests and groom does same with the female guests.

    After that every one is asked to go to the reception site which could be some where else other than the church or it could be in an other hall of the church.

    You go there and have a nice meal.

    This all I wrote is my personal experience.
    It could be different with church to church and from region to region.
    Hope fully it would help you a little.

    One more thing, they would expect you at least in two piece suit (no different colors pant and coat)
    Have fun and let us know how did it go


      Saqib bhai, couple of things:

      First of all, thanks for the information. I think it will be very helpful.

      I like the idea of two girls holding my arms and taking me to the hall, unfortunately it is a hall and that too a church hall(meant for pun), although two guys holding my wife's arms is causing me some heartburn but I think I will survive it.

      So my white sneakers, gray slacks with navy blue blazer is not going to work on this wedding! ufff... I guess it is time to by a new suit...

      Also, can I join them in the reception hall and skip all this wedding ceremony stuff....



        ChannMahi: LOL
        Hall means the churc hall where the religious part takes place.

        You can avoid all the religious part and go to the reception hall but I don't think bride and groom would appriciate that. Hey that is also fun to join them in the ceremoney

        have fun my friend


          ChannMahi Bhraji,

          The American culture, unfortunately, is a melting pot. Just go with the flow. You will be OK.

          We can just try to survive the onslaught. May be a fraction of the desis' kids will survive and keep the traditions going. This, however, is questionable and the time will tell.

          Church like any religious congregation is very formal. The Christian church is more formal than any of the Eastern religions. Suit is almost mandatory. Just be yourself. If you like to wear your traditional Punjabi suit (including turban if your wear one), nobody would frown upon you except fot the fact that there would be a few curious eyes focussed on you from time to time. Rest is like any wedding.

          Have fun and enjoy yourself. Of course do not drink and drive.

          Rab rakha.


            Dear ChannMahi,

            All the interracial stuff aside, you have a duty as a Punjabi to make your presence be known (and felt) at the wedding. The couple may be the one getting married, but you are the Man, m' Man. You must bring with you a "NotaN Wala Har" (a necklace with Rupee Bills, like about 200 bills of 500 Rs each), a nice big White "PagRee", and a "Sehara". Put all of these ornaments around the groom's neck. Tell him that it is a custom in Punjab to "decorate" the bridegroom. If he insists that he wants to follow Mexican customs instead, tell him that he will have all his life to follow Mexican customs, as your friend (the bride) will make a "Pinyada" out of him every day for the rest of his life.

            Other than that, enjoy the food (I hope they have good Mexican Food after the wedding). I love Mexican food. I think the only food comes closer to Punjabi food in "taste" is Mexican.

            Try not to drink too much at the wedding.

            Stay away from Bridegroom's parents (specially his Mom). I am sure you know the most famous Mexican custom of "pinch the butt" by groom's mom.



              abay mera suggetion to yeh hay kay goli mar aisi shadi par(j/k). just wear a suit and don't be nervous. i personally think that american weddings stink but i hope that u and ur wife will have a good time
              Cricket meri deewangi!