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Match Maker, Match Maker..Find Me A Spouse

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    Match Maker, Match Maker..Find Me A Spouse

    Though I avoid the cut and paste routine this excerpt from a full article I just had to share with all of you.....enjoy!

    Source: A Pakistani Magazine called Zameen.
    Author: Aassia Haroon

    In the lounge of a flat in the upscale Clifton neighbourhood of Karachi, sit
    two young women named Farah and Fauzia. They are employed as
    secretaries by the lady known as the grand dame of Karachi’s
    matchmaking business, Mrs Mumtaz Qureshi – who has arranged
    thousands of marriages since she entered the business in 1982. I have to
    stop myself from informing Farah and Fauzia, who eye me up and down
    when I walk in, that I, for one, am not here in search of a husband. I am
    here to meet broker of contracts, champion of wedded life, queen of
    connections, the near-legendary Mrs Qureshi who has spawned an
    industry among middle-class women. She was one of the first to begin the
    practice of taking a small fee to set up meetings between families seeking
    suitable matches for their children, and advertises her services in the
    Sunday papers each week. Through home-based marriage bureaus like
    hers, enterprising women can earn money whilst staying "respectable".
    This unique ladies’ circle now includes women like Mrs Khan, who has
    been in the business for five years; and new entrant Mrs Lakhani, who
    began advertising in the Sunday classified of Pakistan’s widely-circulated
    Dawn newspaper under the heading Marriage Bureaus, just a few weeks
    ago.

    But Mrs Qureshi, it seems, is an aeroplane ride ahead of her competition, since she has just opened a branch in
    Freemont, California, to deal with a slew of US-based clients seeking matches at home, or with other expatriates in the
    land of the (almost) free. The grand old ma’am herself ambles out of her bedroom just in time for our appointment.

    "I deal with the cream of the city," begins Mrs Qureshi proudly, "and also with the middle-class. But not the lower class.
    I do not have the resources or the connections for that." About fifty per cent of those that call up seeking matches on
    the phone are refused an appointment, and yet Mrs Qureshi estimates that around 150-200 families still drop in to see
    her each month. "For every ten larki wallahs there are about six larkah wallahs," she says. And they seek the same
    things: "Shareef, well-educated, good family and good looks." When a family visits Mrs Qureshi’s home, they are
    asked to fill in a form, detailing particulars like caste, age, income and even the complexion of the prospective bride or
    groom – including an all-important section called "requirements" – and pay a registration fee of 450 rupees. This
    one-time fee covers all meetings until a suitable match is brokered: "Agar un kay naseeb mai hai, of course." A mark
    of Pakistani fatalism, perhaps, but more likely meant to protect Mrs Qureshi from clients seeking matches so perfect –
    or improbable – that they are only the stuff of fantasy. But how can the complex business of marriage be reduced to a
    few lines on a form? The section called requirements is a fascinating, if disturbing peephole into what applicants seek in
    a match: "Doctor, engineer, status, living in the right area, US citizenship, and Green cards top the list," Mrs Qureshi
    reels off.

    Says new entrant, Mrs Lakhani: "I really don’t understand what people seek. Men who are certainly not Prince Charles,
    want Lady Dianas. They should look at themselves before asking for the earth. They do not have degrees, they have
    no money but they want a girl with a job, beauty, a foreign citizenship and her own flat."

    Mrs Qureshi says that she has also encountered those who seek what she deems unworkable matches, a subtle way of
    saying that some families seek to aim above their own levels of education and income. And according to another
    popular marriage maker, Mrs Khan, who deals with clients rich and poor: "No one is seeking emotional compatibility. I
    have women who come to me and say ‘Please don’t show me girls beyond KDA and PECHS’ (affluent Karachi
    localities)." Mrs Khan does a good impersonation of the airs these women put on. She mimics them saying, "You know,
    Mrs Khan, our status is too high to settle for a girl from Nazimabad or Federal B Area." Yet often, she claims, these
    people are themselves from questionable backgrounds. A self-proclaimed expert in the politics of locality, Mrs Khan
    says "Federal B Area and Nazimabad often have families who are much more sound in their values, than some of
    these nouveau riche Defence types." She gives an example: "Girls have called me up complaining about families I
    have sent to them. They ask me why I am sending them estate agents instead of rishtas: apparently some families call
    ahead and ask the size of the girls’ kitchens and drawing-rooms. You see, this is what our people want and they are
    very candid about it."


    #2
    Muzna Ji that was a good one I my self am thinking to approach Mrs Khan and get some help.

    Comment


      #3
      LOL very interesting Muzna

      hmmm iron , i migh join you there in meeting mrs khan...LOL... though i wonder how she found her own mr right

      Comment


        #4
        Chowk and Zameen usualy post some very interesting articles.

        Comment


          #5
          isn't that our society has gone really sick and rotten??

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            #6
            I don't know if our country (Pakistan) has "gone sick and rotten". I think alot of these practices have been around for quite some time. Are the practices "sick and rotten"?

            I think these practices should make us think. What exactly is it that Pakistani's value? Or is this simply a statement about upper and middle class (wannabe upper class) values. Families obviously wish for the best for their children and attempt to choose the best spouse available. However this article uncovers some items Pakistani's value, which perhaps should be questioned:

            1) "Shareef, well-educated, good family and good looks" - These are understandable.
            2) "Families seek to aim above their own levels of education and income" - This too is understandable within reason. But sometimes goes overboard (according to this article): "They do not have degrees, they have no money but they want a girl with a job, beauty, a foreign citizenship and her own flat."
            3) "Caste, age, income and even the complexion" - This is a bit disturbing, in particular "caste" and "complexion".
            4) "Doctor, engineer, status, living in the right area, US citizenship, and Green cards top the list" - again this is disturbing.
            5) "The size of the girls’ kitchens and drawing-room" - Whats this about?
            6) "Please don’t show me girls beyond...affluent Karachi localities."
            7) "No one is seeking emotional compatibility."

            Pakistanis values, as represented in this particular article, point to some disturbing items. Which probably should be examined.

            On a side note, the article also notes: "I really don’t understand what people seek. Men who are certainly not Prince Charles, want Lady Dianas. They should look at themselves before asking for the earth."

            Is Prince Charles actually considered desirable in Pakistan? He looks like an ugly toad. This too is a disturbing development.

            Achtung

            Comment


              #7
              I think the article is an hyperbolic account
              of the situation in Pakistan.Usually the worst cases are often published......

              TH efollowing things abt Karachi .....

              1. The dowry system is almost noexistent...
              in the middle classes ....

              2. Castes & creeds basically does not exist in Karachi. Caste is very important in Lahore & Islmabad but not in Karachi....

              3. EThnic preferences exist but that more due to the politically ( polarised) situation in Karchi Than anything else.... IN General most ppl in Karchi regardless of their origin have a very strong common base - therefore in most families you have a great deal of ethnic diversity .........


              Status is very important in Pakistan - but why Pakistan - it is common amongst all desis...- IN Pakistan it relates to where u live in the city ..... IN amreeka it has to do with your professional education......
              DEsi's are infested with a rigid class system....

              So in desi system - marriage is a means of social mobility.... other means not available.... - so in case of the girls family its $$$$$... ( profession in AMreeeka/
              family money Khaandan in Pak ie where do u live )..

              - in the case of boys family its goori lambhi chaand se .. looks looks & looks...

              so we have langoors ( drs/enrs) married to hoors .......


              The following was sent to me by a friend .. its real amusing .....
              b- boy
              g -girl
              p -parents ...


              1. Boy lives at home ..
              p- shareef ladka
              g - parental dependency/ inlaw trouble

              2. dr/engr langoor type .....
              p - ( aloud) stable samajdar - (thinking $$$$$$$$$$$$ )
              g - ( aloud) dork/dweeb ( thinking $$$$$ - maybe not too bad

              3. non proffesional beefcake ...
              p - lafanga
              g - I waaant him ......

              4. dr/engr beefcake ....
              p - seraching for one ....
              g - kidhar hain .....
              b - Already taken ....

              5. non proffesional langoor
              p - nahin nahin ....if giirl over 35 then
              g - ewww!!!! get away from me ....
              b - Hello Kathy!!! I wanna marry u


              6. Professional Independet gal avg looks...

              p - Taez .......
              b - hmmmm.... gmmm... maybe maybenot ....

              7. NonProfesional Hoor ....

              p - Bahuuuuuu
              b - type1 : Yipee........
              type2 : hmmmm too much barbie ...

              8. Professional Hoor .....

              p - Musebaaat .....
              b - fawning at the mouth ......
              g - I wanna a plastic surgeon Beat it man ...



              Comment


                #8
                so where would we find you Jack?

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                  #9

                  Non-professional Langoor LOL .......

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                    #10
                    Hilarious muzna...thanks.

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                      #11
                      buffy.....

                      My post is not nearly as funny as Jack's ...thank him.

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                        #12
                        Jack
                        this hits too close to home
                        haha

                        Comment


                          #13
                          hmmmm.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            jack's post is funny....

                            But your post is hilarious because the people think the way they do things is "right" and are so serious about it.

                            Comment

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